Birth story - Xara and baby boy

*Possible Triggers*: Recurrent miscarriage

Early Pregnancy

We found out I was pregnant late in August 2020 at about 4 weeks. It was a planned pregnancy so we were of course very happy, but also nervous as I had had two consecutive miscarriages in January and May 2020. We contacted our doctor and I was booked in for a scan at around 7 weeks. Everything looked fine at the appointment but because of my two previous miscarriages the pregnancy was considered ‘high risk’ and I was signed off of work for the remainder of the first trimester to rest and take things easy. This was good but also meant I didn’t have work as a distraction so the six weeks or so that I was off seemed to go very slowly as I spent the time trying not to think about being pregnant.

The morning before my 13 week appointment I felt so anxious that there wouldn’t be a heartbeat so it was a huge relief when everything looked normal at the appointment. That was when I actually started to mentally digest that I was pregnant for the first time and I think we then experienced the feelings that most ‘parents to be’ usually get when they first get a positive pregnancy test. I was also then no longer classed as ‘high risk’ which was great and I went back to work.

General Pregnancy

Apart from the initial concerns, my pregnancy itself was totally straightforward. My first, second and third trimester screening tests all came back normal and I had monthly scans throughout the entire pregnancy, all of which were also fine. I was also lucky that I experienced absolutely no morning sickness the way through. In the last few weeks I experienced some mild heartburn and sciatic nerve pain but these were minimal discomforts.

Birth ‘Plan’

We started doing the PBC course when I was around 23 weeks and both of us found the course very informative and reassuring. I began thinking about the sort of birth I would prefer. In Spain intervention rates are quite high and natural births are still quite unusual with only limited natural birthing aids even in the best hospitals. Home births are almost unheard of and are not possible under the national health system and if you do want one they cost a fortune as only about 1% of midwives in Spain are insured to attend home deliveries. I used the PBC birth preference template to make notes to speak about with the doctor and my midwife, as what with the differences between health systems in the UK (which is what I have most knowledge of) and Spain and restrictions due to Covid, I really wasn’t sure what would be available to me. Later, the hospital also provided me with a birth preferences form to fill in which helped to establish what would and wouldn’t be available. For example, I found out at this point that gas and air isn’t legal in much of Spain which really surprised me. At 37 weeks I met with my midwife for the first time and she gave us a tour of the maternity department in the hospital and we discussed options. I also had an appointment with my doctor that week and discussed all my options and preferences with her at that point too. They were both on board with my preference for interventions to be used only if necessary and ultimately we all agreed that the best ‘plan’ was for us to go into the birth with totally open minds about everything and ready to use our BRAIN(s).

Lead Up to Labour

About midway through the third trimester I started getting very sporadic Braxton Hicks and ‘lightning crotch’. I’m a primary school teacher and I stopped going into work at around 37 weeks but continued to do some work online until I went into labour. I also spent the time at home getting the hospital bag ready, sorting baby stuff, cleaning, packing to move (I’d advise not moving with a newborn if you can possibly help it ), walking lots and generally trying to keep as busy as possible.

During week 39 I had an observation session to measure the baby’s heart rate and to see if I was having any contractions. The doctor also did a VE and her words were ‘you’re very green’ i.e nothing was happening down there. At around this point I also started getting some quite short but strong pains in my bump, back and nether regions on and off and lots of period type cramping most days, particularly in the evenings and during the night, but these didn’t lead to anything. During week 40 I had another observation session and at this point I was 1cm dilated but my cervix wasn’t effaced and the baby’s head wasn’t engaged so I was booked in for the same again the next week. At that subsequent appointment very little progress had been made so the doctor did a sweep. She also mentioned that I had a narrow pelvis and that the shape of my pubic bone partially blocked the ‘exit’. At this point because the baby was measuring quite large (8.5lbs) and because of my physiology the doctor advised induction before the baby could get any bigger. She also warned me that ultimately I may need to have a C-Section if the baby had difficulty navigating my pelvis. I used my BRAIN and as I felt the induction was recommended for a legitimate reason I was then booked in for two days later at exactly 41 weeks. The next day (Tuesday) myself and my husband went for our PCR tests ahead of our admission to hospital and thankfully they were negative. The induction was booked for 9am on the Wednesday morning but actually I went into spontaneous labour on the Tuesday night.

Labour

On the Tuesday night I went to bed with what felt like fairly mild period type cramps. I woke up at about 2am to them being stronger, definitely wave-like and about 10 minutes apart. I tried to go back to sleep but couldn’t (I think I must have dosed on and off though) so lay in bed listening to my Harry Potter audio book. At about 5am I got up and pottered around the house doing bits and pieces. I started to time the contractions with the Freya app as they had gotten more intense but they were coming in an irregular pattern. At this point, I needed to concentrate on my up-breathing through each contraction but was totally fine in between. My husband’s alarm went off at 6.30am and this is when I told him I thought I was in labour. We both started getting ready and doing the last minute bits and pieces that we had planned to do before heading to the hospital for the induction, all the while my contractions were getting more intense but still a very irregular pattern. Sometimes there could be 10 minutes or so between them and sometimes only 30 seconds or so. I got showered etc very leisurely and at this point my husband started to get a bit twitchy and, as I wanted to avoid any arguments, I sped up a little and we left the house at about 7.30am. We got a taxi to the hospital which is a less than ten minute drive away. We checked in and went up to the labour ward where I was shown to a very nice ‘natural birth suite’ which had lots of birthing equipment, a bath, mood lighting and speakers.

They gave me a gown to change into and those lovely net knickers and I was hooked up to the monitor whilst sitting on a birthing ball.

I laboured in there happily using up breathing for about an hour until my midwife arrived. When she did arrive she observed for about an hour to see what was what. By this time the contractions were getting really intense and it took everything I had to concentrate on breathing through them but they were still in an irregular pattern. Given what she knew from my doctor she mentioned the possibility of a C-Section at this point but as she new I was quite keen for a vaginal birth if possible she asked to do a VE to see what was happening. I still wasn’t very dilated and she told me that she suspected that this and the irregularity of the contractions was due to the baby not being able to engage his head in my pelvis at all. She offered to break my fore-waters to see if it would help the baby move down a bit and I agreed. I have to say I think this part was the only negative part of the entire experience. It basically involved her piercing the membranes with what looked like a knitting needle and then pressing down really hard on my stomach to push the waters out whilst she also had what felt like her entire arm up me and telling me to ‘push really hard like I’m having a poo’. I found this really painful and actually cried during it and my husband had to practically hold me down on the bed. The waters came out a little dirty which she said indicated that the baby might be becoming a little distressed at not being able to engage his head. Although his heart rate was still fine. I laboured for about another hour during which my other waters broke and these were clean. She did another VE and again nothing had progressed any further than before and the baby was still not engaged. She also pointed out the inconvenient shape of my pubic bone again to my husband (honestly it must just be an internal thing because from the outside it looks like a normal pubic bone ). She explained that she thought that the baby just wouldn’t fit and that if we proceeded with trying for a vaginal birth things might become very difficult and potentially traumatic. She recommended a C-Section and again using my BRAIN I agreed that it was the best option given the situation. In hindsight I think she wanted me to have a C-Section from the very beginning given the information she’d had from my doctor and the first VE she did. However, I think she was trying to respect my birth preferences as much as possible which I’m pleased about.

Once the decision to have a C-Section had been made everything happened really quickly but not in an emergency sense. I was cannulised and given a bag of fluids immediately although I can’t remember what this was. I was then walked to theatre by my midwife and met by the anesthetist who explained how he was going to do the epidural and what I would feel and my husband went elsewhere to get scrubbed up. Whilst the epidural was going in my doctor arrived and came and gave me a very reassuring kiss on the cheek (this might seem weird to lots of people but she’d been my doctor through my miscarriages and all through pregnancy so it was so comforting to me at the time). Once the epidural had been done, I lay back on the operating table and they pulled a screen up in front of me and I listened to all the doctors and nurses chatting away. There were quite a few people in the room which didn’t bother me and I found their calm chatter a nice distraction and I used up breathing to stay calm. Soon after my husband joined me behind the screen (he told me later that by the time he arrived they’d already started opening me up and he’d gotten an eyeful on the way in but I’d had no idea they’d already begun). I remember saying to him “Talk to me. I don’t care what you say but just talk to me.” So he chatted away to me about god knows what but it was a great distraction. The sensation of the baby being removed was really odd but not painful. I’d heard about the whole ‘washing up in your stomach’ thing and that’s a really accurate description. The pulling feeling under my ribs was really strong and rough and I’m still so surprised that my baby came out of such a small incision! I can’t remember exactly how long it was before the baby was out but it seemed quite quick and all of a sudden the midwife was holding him up in front of us. They took him away (just to the side of the operating table but I couldn’t see because of the screen) for a little while, and my husband went with him where he had delayed cord clamping and then my husband cut the cord and then they both came back and the baby had skin to skin with me. We stayed like that until they had finished stitching me up and afterwards we were taken back to our original birthing suite to recover for a while where he latched on and fed happily which I was very pleased about.

Recovery

About an hour after surgery we were taken to the room where we would be staying for the next 5 days or so. The hospital was originally built to be a Hilton hotel so these rooms were very nice! Over the next couple of days I was given various painkillers and antibiotics via my cannula as well as some morphine injections. I also had a catheter in so I didn’t need to get up to go for a wee. These couple of days are a bit of a blur to be honest and it wasn’t until the Friday morning (1 1/2 days later) that I have full memory of what was going on but the baby fed well as soon as he was born and my husband had lots of support with changing etc. I do remember being absolutely starving though, and not being allowed to eat solids until the Friday . On the Friday morning they took out my catheter and I had a shower and removed the dressing of my incision which the nurse then re-dressed afterwards. Getting up out of bed was really difficult but once I was up I tried to stay as mobile as possible which I think helped with my recovery. We spent the next few days in a complete baby bubble receiving very frequent care and support from both the post surgical nursing team and the paediatric nursing team and I was amazed at how quickly I felt better. My doctor also came to visit each day as did our midwife. I was given a C-Section girdle to wear for a few days too and this made such a difference to my movement so if you have the option of this I’d recommend trying it. Also, don’t be perturbed if all the nurses are obsessed with you passing wind. I was asked about this probably every time a nurse came to check on me and apparently it’s because a lot of air can get trapped during the operation and it’s important that it is released. It’s also a good indication that your bowels are working properly if you haven’t been to the toilet yet which again they are very interested in. I didn’t have any problems weeing (or recognising that I needed a wee) after the catheter was taken out but I had read about the possibility of a lazy bladder afterwards so I kept this in mind and made sure I went for a wee frequently during the first day that the catheter was out to make sure my bladder was cooperating. We left the hospital on the Sunday morning and it was so nice to be home and to have visitors as we hadn’t been able to have any in hospital due to Covid. We’ve been out and about as much as possible since and I’ve been increasing the amount I walk each day without pushing myself too hard. I’ve also been off pain killers for a good few days now and am totally pain free. If you do have to have a C-Section please don’t worry too much about the recovery. Although some things have been a bit trickier, like getting in and out of bed in the first days and picking things up, I was fully able to care for my baby after just a day. It’s now been 13 days and apart from having to clean and dress the incision site each day I feel pretty much back to normal.

Although a C-Section was not my first choice for birth it was a really positive experience. I worried before birth that if I had a C-Section I’d feel somehow like I ‘cheated’ and didn’t do it properly but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’ve recovered quickly and fully from a major operation whilst taking care of a newborn at the same time who is very happy and thriving. I feel like an absolute BOSS! So please don’t worry about this yourself.

In general, the course was so helpful and made both myself and my husband feel very informed in every situation. I used the breathing techniques I’d learned whilst I was in labour and during the operation so those were most definitely not wasted! One thing I would recommend to everyone is that no matter how much you’d like to avoid a C-Section, do write down your preferences for one just in case. You never know what might happen and us having thought about our C-Section preferences in advance really made a difference to how we coped with it. Also, do the postpartum pack before you give birth as this has been great for us too.

Good luck to all of you about to have your babies. However they come, it’s amazing and you will be amazing!