Birth story - Simone and baby boy

*Possible Triggers*: C section, epidural, induction

I have loved reading the positive birth stories on this page, so feel I must also share my experience too. I know everyone says theirs is a long one.. this really is, but I hope the information given helps at least 1 person feel more confident about their birthing experience.

I have always been terrified of giving birth, and have had panic attacks in the past, when friends and work colleagues have spoke about their labour (sounds so dramatic now looking back!) so I completely agree with Siobhan when she says people always tell you the worst stories, as if it's a competition over who can have the worst birth story! Many of us will relate to this.. I even fainted at my first midwife appointment, which I put down to the stress and anxiety I was putting on myself 7 months before I was due to give birth! This was where I was first recommended Hypnobirthing.

I actually loved being pregnant. I had a low risk pregnancy throughout, and never really had any major symptoms… yes I felt sick sometimes, got heartburn, but it was never anything I could not handle and my body was growing a human so I just embraced any changes.

I started the hypnobirthing course at about 30 weeks. We watched every video at least twice, I listened to the positive affirmations before bed and in the bath, and I loved listening to 'the journey' too. Siobhan’s voice was so relaxing, I always fell asleep listening to her, as I felt so calm.

I wrote my birth plan using the template provided although my birth plan went from hippy hypnobirther to full on 'give me the drugs' crack head very quickly I was unsure how I would handle the pain, and didn’t want to set my heart on a birth plan that may not go to plan. I wrote down my preferences for each outcome, how I wanted the room to look and feel was important to me, and I wanted my partner to announce the gender to me, writing the birth plan made me feel really in control.

Even though we had watched the due date video a few times, we still counted down to that day.. 2nd June.. it came and went, with no sign of baby!

I had a midwife appointment on the 3rd June. Baby was now engaged and still growing nicely and was on the 45th centile which was a predicted weight of under 8lbs, I was offered a sweep buty I used my BRAIN and decided to decline this. That weekend I tried all the usual tricks, walking, sex, spicy food, pineapple, nothing worked. I just kept repeating "baby will come, when baby is ready," this affirmation kept me going!

My next midwife appointment came around at 41+1.. This time I accepted the sweep and was 1cm.. and I also accepted to be booked in for an induction at 41+5.. (Sun 14th June) I desperately wanted to beat the induction date though, and set about trying everything to induce labour yet again.

I started to lose my mucus plug 2 days after my sweep, this did not come out in one go, it was just like a thick discharge with a few streaks of blood.

By the Saturday I decided to stop stressing about the induction, I read some positive induction birth stories, and relaxed at home with my partner to enjoy our last night in our home as a 2!

I think this was the best thing I could’ve done, at 11pm I started getting surges which were 12 mins apart, by 1am they were every 6-7 mins lasting up to 1 minute.. I spent the night on my birth ball and had 2 baths listening to my positive affirmations, I was so happy to feel these surges!

My induction was booked for 1pm, so I called the hospital to check whether I should continue the surges at home, or still attend at 1pm, they asked me to still go into hospital.

We are very lucky in our trust, that birthing partners are allowed to stay the whole time, so we were both shown to our private room on the maternity ward.. As soon as we got there, my surges got slowly further apart, until they were coming every 20 mins, which was disappointing. At about 6pm I had an examination and was still only 1cm, so I had the pessary fitted. This was not painful at all, and I just used my up breathing to help relax. This bought my surges back, and they started coming every 4-5 mins and were more intense than what I had felt at home. I decided to use my TENS machine here, although I don’t think it really helped! I was offered codeine to deal with the pain at about 1am which I accepted. I was told these can make you sick, so I only took 1. 45 mins later I projectile vomited all over the room which also forced the pessary out! The midwife inserted a new pessary for me, and checked my cervix, she said the pessary was doing its job, the cervix was much more ripe and she said she could now break my waters IF there was a bed downstairs on the delivery suite (there wasn’t) unfortunately, the pessary fell out again, which they said was a good thing, so they left it out. I had no sleep at all as the surges continued, they were so powerful, and this is where I entered the Red. I had such a negative mindset about the induction process that was happening to me, I lost control of my up breathing and was focusing on the pain.

Monday morning came, and I was told as soon as a bed was available on the labour ward, I would be taken down to get my waters broken. By 8am the surges completely stopped. I felt completely deflated. I had been awake since Saturday morning, I had been having surges since 11pm Saturday night, I had 2 pessary fitted and now nothing.

I had a sleep on the Monday morning as I knew I needed some rest and when I woke up I knew I needed to relax and get back into a positive mindset. Sunday had given me a bit of a wobble and I had definitely entered the RED and stayed there, so I thought of this as my second chance, and I do believe everything happens for a reason, and baby will come when baby is ready. I told myself I would take this extra time to practice my breathing (I did this so well at home, then completely lost it after the pessary was fitted), and to try and get my oxytocin flowing.

Monday came and went, with still no bed on the delivery suite for me. I was told it would now more than likely be Tuesday morning so to get some rest.

Tuesday morning came and the midwife and doctor came to see me, they explained it was so busy on the delivery suite and no beds were available still. They said they hoped to get me in there some point throughout the day, and to keep bouncing on the ball and stay on my feet. I did this all day and still had no bed on the delivery suite by 8pm, however I had started to feel surges coming and going again, they were lasting about 50 seconds and coming every 4-5 minutes, but after Sunday, I just breathed through them and got on with my night.

We asked the midwives if they thought we would be taken down that night at all but they said no, and that it would probably be Weds morning now!

I had a shower, had my electric candles set up, had my lavender oil on my pillows and nighty, used my room spray and settled on the bed cuddled up with my partner watching the hangover, resigning to the fact we would not be on delivery suite that night either.

About 10pm, my knickers felt wet, not completely leaking, just wet, so I popped a pad in. When I looked it was a browny colour, and nothing like the bits of mucus plug I had been losing since Friday. I called the midwife and she said my waters had broken and there was a bit of poo from the baby in them. As I was 42 wks she said this was common as babies bowels were now matured so it was nothing to worry about, but of course I now had to be moved down to the delivery suite. Within 2 mins my boyfriend had everything packed and waiting by the door. We were so excited. I was so glad my waters had broken naturally and really felt this was the right time for me even though we had waited days for this. This was my time.

Once on the delivery suite, We set up our candles, had our essential oils out, we focused on the senses as this was an important part of the plan for me. I was then examined and was already 4cm which I was really pleased with. I kept using my breathing and was stood up, pacing around the room..

The surges did start to get more intense, so I accepted gas and air which definitely took the edge off.

By 8am I had been on the delivery suite since midnight and had managed the surges with my breathing and gas and air. I felt this was so much more manageable than I had expected and the midwives told me I was dealing with the surges really well which made me feel good. I was examined again and was now 5cm. I asked how much longer did they think this would go on for and they said for a FTM they would expect at least another 6 to 7 hours. At this point I felt really tired, and asked what other pain relief was available. For some reason my mind was telling me to ask for the epidural, which I ended up getting at about 9am.

WOW.. this was not something I had planned at all but I had this overwhelming feeling before asking for the epidural that I had felt the powerful surges, and I now wanted to ENJOY the last few hours of my labour, pain free. This was the best decision I made and I felt completely in control that I made this decision to benefit me. The pain completely went, I had a catheter fitted, which was painless, and I absolutely loved the hours that followed. A few other midwives actually came into our room and said they loved the sound of the laughter coming from our room. We sat and discussed everything with our midwife and really got to know her, we had so much in common with her, I felt as though I was out having a catch up with an old friend and this put me and my partner completely at ease and made us feel safe. I managed to nap throughout the day, as I was told I needed to save my energy for pushing.

On my next examination I was 8cm, and was told they would check again in 2 hours if I hadn't started pushing by then.

2 hours later.. I was still 8cm, and was told they could not tell which way the baby was facing.. a few doctors were called in to examine me and they could not determine which way babies head was either, they decided to let me try to fully dilate for another 2 hours so I had the chance to birth naturally..

2 hours later, I was still 8cm! The doctor said the baby felt big and the head would not come down further at 8cm and they recommended a c section.

By this time (5pm), I just wanted the baby out, so we agreed.

I was taken into theatre and given a spinal block. Having already had the epidural everything felt double the numbness, even my face which made me panic slightly. I did not feel a thing, I didn’t even realise they had started the section, and when I heard the baby cry I actually had to ask whether it was our baby!

My boyfriend was handed the baby to tell me the gender- It was a boy!

The whole section was over within 15 mins max, we were taken up recovery to give baby his first bottle, and for more skin to skin. We then went back up to the maternity ward to settle down for our first night as a 3.

A c section was the one thing I really did not want, however, I kept in my mind everything happens for a reason. My baby was estimated to be less than 8lbs and he was a huge 10lbs 10ozs. I think for the size of my baby, the section was best. I also think this was why I was so drawn to the epidural. I believe I could manage the surges on gas and air, however, if I had managed them powerful surges on just gas and air for hours and hours, I would've been gutted to end up having the section at the end after all the hard work. Whereas, with the epidural, I had a great little day full of laughter, and I rested.. and I would not change any part of my birthing experience, even the wait for the bed or the pessary, it was all supposed to happen!

Did I think the girl who fainted in the doctors back in November would be sat here talking about how positive her birth was? How the surges were not as powerful as I had built them up to be in my mind? No way, but I put my mind over matter, and made decisions that felt best for me, my body and my baby and I feel the hypnobirthing course really gave me confidence to do this.

Good luck to all mums out there.. Please stay positive - it’s the key!