Chloe's Story (Ghostwriter)
*Please note the names of our writers in this section have been changed to ensure their privacy*
The thought of having another baby fills me with joy - the newborn cuddles, the smell of their skin, the giggles, first steps and, above everything, else watching my beautiful daughter becoming a big sister.
To achieve this, I will need to come to terms with my fear of another pregnancy. We planned our first pregnancy and very quickly we were blessed with two blue lines. I couldn’t have been happier. At five weeks pregnant, the sickness started. I would wake at 3am and it would be constant until midnight. At six weeks pregnant I was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum. Despite two different anti-sickness medications, the symptoms didn’t settle though. By nine weeks pregnant I couldn’t see how I was going to survive this pregnancy. It was clear that this ball of cells was trying to kill me. I strongly considered a termination, but didn’t know how to broach it with my husband. By fourteen weeks I was started on a third medication and I started managing some food. I eventually managed to get back to work but the nausea and some sickness lasted for the entire pregnancy. I never felt bonded to my pregnancy, despite an empowering delivery, the beautiful baby I was handed didn’t feel like mine and it took a long time for that to change.
The statistics around termination with hyperemesis are terrifying. 1 in 4 planned pregnancies end in termination with hyperemesis and if you’ve had it in your first pregnancy you're more likely to have it with future pregnancies. I’d love another baby but I know that the only way I can reach that goal is to potentially go through another very difficult nine months. How will I cope with that level of sickness with a toddler in tow? The only way to ensure I can get through another pregnancy with hyperemesis is to have a good plan in place.
I am currently focusing on recovering from my first pregnancy . The physical toll it took on my body was extraordinary, much more than I ever expected. With the vomiting, my pelvic floor was shot by twelve weeks, my teeth were really sensitive whenever I ate or drank and my body was full of aches and pains.
Since my delivery, I have seen a women's health physio who has given me some exercises to help my pelvic floor recover and to strengthen up my body again. My dentist has prescribed a course of high fluoride toothpaste to re-harden the enamel on my teeth and generally, eleven months on, I’m finally starting to feel like I will get my pre-natal health back. I’m not quite there but the light is at the end of the tunnel! I’ve also been speaking to a clinical psychologist which is helping me come to terms with my feelings around my last pregnancy. It's really important to me that I feel bonded to any future pregnancy and excited about the baby, as I am sure it will help me cope with any symptoms. We are working on some coping strategies that hopefully will help this.
The next thing I need to do is speak to my GP. I was lucky that I was diagnosed so early on and that was down to a wonderful GP who had looked after another patient with similar symptoms. I now know what medications work for me and which ones don’t. I need to make sure that I am listened to and can access support quickly again if I need to. Hopefully a pre-conception planning meeting will help with this.
The biggest thing we need to look at is our social support. We live away from most of our family and our friendship network is small due to moving around for work. Even with our daughter being in nursery part time there will still be days when I will need to look after her. I worry that if I can’t cope, who will help? If I can’t cook, how will I feed her? We will need a strong support plan in place to ensure I can get through another pregnancy and hopefully I will be a mother again.
Written by ChLOE - Ghostwriter
*Please note the names of our writers in this section have been changed to ensure their privacy*
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