Birth story - Verity and baby Sadie

When I found out I was pregnant I was determined to have a positive birth story. I have a history of anxiety, depression and trauma and wanted to ensure the birth of our baby was a positive experience. I had heard from so many friends who struggled with their birth experiences and told me they had control of decisions taken away from them during their labour. I did some research and read Siobhan's book and downloaded the online course. I loved that it was so accessible and that I could do it at my own pace. I made a list of the videos my partner should watch and he watched in his own time and we had time to chat about what was important to me.

Starting the course early helped me through my pregnancy as well as preparing us for labour. I was lucky to have a really straightforward pregnancy but we had to have a lot of extra appointments about the baby's size. After 20 weeks I was advised that baby was measuring big and had extra scans and bump measurements. This did cause unnecessary worry as the likelihood of induction was mentioned early on and we were told baby was too big and then too small! I remembered the affirmation "my baby will be the perfect size for my body" and tried to enjoy the extra chances to see our baby. From speaking to the midwives I learned that, just as Siobhan highlights, scans are only an indication and they are dealing in such tiny margins, half millimetres in many cases. At a 36 week scan the consultant confirmed baby was 'perfectly average' and we were sent away to await labour.

On my first day of maternity leave the Prime Minister advised pregnant women to pay particular regard to self isolation measures. This was not how I planned to spend my mat leave. I was so disappointed and concerned about what this might mean for labour options. I became really anxious about this but I kept up daily walks and listened to the positive affirmations including a 5 mile walk to collect the TENS machine. I definitely think this might have triggered labour!

Despite everything I learned I still held onto some assumptions which impacted what happened next. At 37+6 on 29th March I woke up feeling a bit funny. I went to the toilet a lot and told my partner I was going to rest. At around 10.30 I started experiencing period like cramps. I convinced myself it was too early (my first error) and that I must have a bad stomach. I took 2 paracetamol and used a hot water bottle. About an hour later I was still experiencing cramps and decided to have a bath. I did at this point use Freya which promptly told me I was in established labour. My second error was not to listen because I didn't believe it could be this manageable. It certainly didn’t feel like anything was 'contracting'. It was much more like waves of period pain every few minutes in my pelvis and upper thighs. I should have trusted the course and Freya! At 1.30pm I told my partner something was happening but it probably wasn’t labour and if I was still experiencing it at 2.30 I would call the ward. However at 1.45 I had another surge and this time felt the undeniable urge to push. As I called the hospital my waters broke and the midwife very calmly told me to get to the hospital quickly. I still couldn't believe it.

Due to Covid 19 restrictions the midwife led unit was closed but the maternity unit advised they would provide midwife led care just on the labour suite. I did panic when my waters broke at home. It was a lot more Hollywood movie than I'd have liked. We got to the hospital quickly and I can laugh now at the journey across the carpark and reception having the urge to push in front of strangers. I was taken to a room immediately and was told the pool was unavailable but this didn’t really matter as the midwife then confirmed I was fully dilated. I was struggling to communicate at this point and hands down the best thing I had done was write my birth preferences and attach them to my notes. I'd followed Siobhan's advice and rather than a plan wrote my do's and don'ts for the range of scenarios which could happen.

When they read these the midwives quickly set about turning down the lights and my partner got me a drink and put on my music. I had gas and air at this point and had gotten into a UFO position leaning over the bed and the midwife suggested tilting the bed so I was even more upright which instantly made a difference. She asked me if I wanted her to talk me through pushing or remain quiet. I did want her to coach and personally found this really helpful encouragement to maximise every push. It meant a lot that she asked and I think this is where you can absolutely adapt hypnobirthing principles to what works for you.

Pushing was tiring but I wouldn't describe it as painful. The midwife was able to monitor the baby wirelessly which was reassuring and meant I could focus. I struggled with down breathing during the pushes but remembered my affirmations. Every push meant my baby was coming.

At 3.46pm just 5 hours after thinking I had a bad tummy our amazing and strong daughter, Sadie was born weighing a very average 7lbs. We were completely stunned. As I had written my birth preferences the midwives made sure these were carried out without having to ask.

I look back on her birth as such an empowering experience. With the support of my partner and the midwives I never felt I was losing control. I was so concerned about protecting my mental health and It is such a stressful time to be giving birth but it was absolutely still possible to have a positive experience.