Birth story - Tamara and baby Otto

In hindsight, early labour started Sunday night but I was in denial that I was in labour until probably an hour or 2 before he arrived!

Sunday evening I was laid on the sofa and my husband (Oli) was giving me a lovely scalp massage while we were watching funny programmes on TV to get the oxytocin flowing. When I stood up to go to bed I got quite a strong tightening that took me off my feet a bit. I just assumed another Braxton Hicks as I'd been getting them for a while now but they continued into the night.

At 3am Monday morning I went downstairs as they were keeping me up so I bounced on my ball a bit and had some cereal. They weren't painful just a bit uncomfortable, so I went back to bed to try and get some more sleep. When I woke up the Monday morning the tightenings were accompanied by dull period pains. I said to Oli to keep his phone on loud at work just in case as my tightenings had been going on all night and now there was period pain with them. He took our oldest (Milo) to school then went to work.

I decided to take my toddler (Otis) for a walk and see if that made things progress. We live on the south east coast and our house is a 5 minute walk from the seafront so we walked all along the cliffs and I felt so calm looking out at the sea, this definitely got the oxytocin flowing again. We then went to play football in the park and sat and had an ice cream with all the locals who take their dogs there most days. I remember sitting there feeling so calm and happy. When we got home the tightenings had definitely ramped up but I was in denial so I got Otis ready to go to toddler group. On the drive there things changed and the tightenings were getting stronger. Luckily Otis fell asleep on the way to toddler group so I text Oli and said I was feeling quite sore now so I was going to drive home and asked if he could pick Milo up from school to save me driving out while I was having my tightenings.

I carried Otis upstairs to bed between them and ran a bath thinking if this was the real thing a bath probably wouldn't stop them. They carried on so I decided to time them and they were already 2-4 minutes apart lasting 30-50 seconds but I was still in denial that they were contractions and just told Oli the bath hadn't stopped the tightenings so maybe this was my body preparing. Oli got back around 4ish and I carried on doing bits around the house with the contractions continuing to build.

We all had dinner but by 6ish I was having to breathe through them and couldn't talk through them anymore. Oli asked if he should call his mum to collect Otis but I said no as I was still in denial 🙈. After an hour of them becoming more intense I was finding Otis very distracting so asked Oli to call his mum just in case and said we could pick him up in the morning before work/school if nothing had happened. I just thought I couldn't be in labour 1 week before my due date as I was so adamant he would be late like his brothers.

Oli’s mum arrived at 7.45pm and I called the midwives and said I wasn't sure if I was in labour. I had a contraction during the call and she said it sounded like I was so she called the home birth team. At this point Oli started to set up the lounge with the oil diffuser, music and birthing pool. I was still worried we were doing all of this for nothing.

The homebirth midwife called me around 8ish and I said I didn't want her to come out for no reason if it wasn't actually labour. While I was on the 5 minute phone call I had 2 contractions and she said it did sound like things were progressing but reasurred me that if not it wasn't a problem she would just go back home.

At around 9pm I finally accepted I was in labour as I had a bloody show so got Oli to call the home birth midwife and ask where she was. She was at the hospital getting the bits together so Oli asked her to come over. By now I was on all fours with every contraction breathing through them using the up breathing technique and the visualisations I had learnt from The Positive Birth Company course we did and Oli was putting pressure on my back and pelvis during each contraction and filling the pool whenever I had a break. He was so good at getting all this done on his own, especially when we ran out of hot water and he was having to use the kettle and pots and pans to fill it up!

I got into the pool at 9.30pm. The first midwife arrived just before 10pm and listened to his heart rate to check he was ok, which he was, then she stepped back and let me get on with it. The midwife said I could get out the pool in a couple of hours if I wanted to see how dilated I was. I laughed and said I don't think we will still be here then. If someone had told me after my 2 previous births I would be laughing and joking between contractions just minutes before giving birth I'd have never believed them. It's amazing what a positive mindset and a belief in yourself can do.

At some point a student midwife arrived. Shortly after I felt something had changed, I threw up leaning over the pool in a bowl and my waters broke as this was happening then I felt Otto move down. I shouted "he's coming!" But I struggled to move and still had my bikini bottoms on so the midwife helped remove them and I turned around, Oli held me up from outside the pool and I slowly breathed Otto out. I didn't need to push at all I just let the reflex kick in. He floated out into the water and then I pulled him onto my chest at 10.34pm.

Oli went to get Milo from his room to meet his new brother. We had delayed cord clamping and once it had gone white, Oli cut it. During this time the second midwife arrived and I remember the student midwife answering the door excitedly saying "we have a baby!". It was her first home birth and only her 6th delivery! The midwives then helped me out of the pool to deliver the placenta on the sofa. The student midwife was showing Milo the placenta and telling him how it worked and he was fascinated. Otto then fed on me for about an hour before being weighed.

Oli’s dad came to collect Milo, as we knew we had to take Otto into hospital after he was born for some monitoring due to medication I was on during the pregnancy. Before we went to the hospital, the midwives helped Oli tidy up and then we all had a cup of tea and biscuits in the living room and watched Friends.
It was the most amazing, empowering experience of my life.

I would 100% recommend the positive birth company to anyone as it gave me the confidence to stand up for myself and my choices while keeping me informed and giving me the tools I needed to labour calmly. I am so happy I finally got the birth I always dreamed of.