Birth story - Róisín and baby Bláthnaid

My sister had always mentioned hypnobirthing as something that had shaped the births of her four babies. Thankfully she bought me what was in her words ‘the best hypnobirthing book on the market’ and that’s how I got into the Positive birth company’s community. I read Siobhan’s book first and got absolutely hooked. It was progressive, evidence based and logical. Finding something that celebrated childbirth and empowered women felt really good. My husband ordered the digital pack too and together we watched the videos in my third trimester.

I found the few weeks before giving birth progressively hard. I vomited most days throughout pregnancy and by the end I had damaged my oesophagus. This lead to an admit to A & E on my due date after bringing up blood. Siobhan’s book and videos helped keep my focus on what incredible things my body was doing. I remembered that baby will come when it’s ready and I rested, recharged and got all that oxytocin flowing again! After a few days I felt ready again. I started having strong Braxton Hicks which were more apparent at night in the week leading up to delivery.

My early labour was a bit weird. It was stop-start kind of thing. Contractions started on the Monday evening and got to every 7 minutes lasting about 1 minute. They were moderate strength looking back now and I thought - this is it. I managed through the night with the Freya app and up breathing. I was excited I could handle this! My husband Tom was great. In the morning when we moved downstairs they gradually became more infrequent and by 8am they had stopped altogether. That was disappointing but I knew every contraction brought me closer to meeting my baby and nothing was wasted. I made some breakfast and went back to bed for a rest.

One particularly helpful point I took from reading positive birthing stories was to make sure you sleep when you can around the time of your labour. I’m glad I read that as it proved so useful!

My husband didn’t go to work Tuesday morning and we both went to sleep. I woke up about 3pm to a surprise visit from Tom’s parents. Scarlet. I looked an absolute mess in my mum’s old pink dressing gown (something she had left for me in Wales as she is in Ireland, it felt really safe and oxytocin-y to have on). I made some tea and we chatted with Tom’s parents. As time went on I noticed twinges starting again, by 5pm they were definitely surges and they felt more established this time round. I still remember looking at my in-laws trying to listen to what they were saying and focus on my breathing. I think the visit from family settled us a little, we had a laugh and relaxed.

Tom’s parents left about 5pm and I made us pizzas. Another great tip I got from here - a nice comforting early labour meal really helps keep your energy up later on. I started coping with contractions with up breathing and an arched swaying motion of my hips with my hands extended up. Most of my discomfort was in my back. I used my tens machine which was so helpful for labouring at home, it made a significant difference. Surges were absolutely manageable at this point and I’d even get excited telling Tom ‘wooo, that was a big one!’. They felt like waves I was riding, definitely intense and powerful but I felt positive about them.

As the evening went on I noticed I was focusing too much on timing so I stopped counting them and had gotten into the zone of doing my breathing anyways. At 10pm my contractions slowed a bit so although I had been keen to be upward, forward and open something told me it was ok to have a rest and lie down for a bit. Tom and I hopped into bed and both fell asleep.

I woke up about 11pm to a stronger, longer contraction and as I got out of bed to sway my waters broke. It was a slow trickle of fluid, felt a bit like doing a wee but I couldn’t control it. It was great news to have something visible and concrete that I knew gave us a timeline - baby would be here soon or I would be induced in 24 hours. I texted my Mum and Dad in Ireland and they booked some flights for the following morning and got started their journey over to Cardiff.

After my waters broke things amped up significantly and I really needed to focus to breath and sway my way through each surge. Staying calm significantly helped any discomfort but I won’t lie, it was hard. I knew as one peaked that it would quickly ease off and the predictability kept me feeling in control. By 1 am the app told us we were in established labour. We phoned the midwife led unit in the hospital who advised us to stay at home as long as we could. I was a bit shocked by how blasé they were but listened to the advice figuring I would know when it was time.

I took two paracetamol and got in the shower for a while, got my songs on and my candles. Contractions were coming closer than every 3 minutes now and I felt everything in my back. Focusing on my breathing, staying mobile and swaying my hips through the contractions helped a lot but I absolutely needed my husband by my side for all of them. I would describe this part as painful but if I kept calm and in the zone it was much much less so. I kept myself at ‘green to orange’ as much as possible. My husband was absolutely vital. I found him pressing on my sides or rubbing my back during the surge useful as relief.

As we live about 30 mins away from the hospital and over an 1 hr in rush hour traffic I was really keen to not go in unless it was time. I had Tom finish packing things and get stuff ready in between contractions but called him back as I felt another one. By 4 am I felt I could not continue labouring at home and I felt a strong urge to go to my safe place - the midwife unit. I didn’t focus on whether or not I thought I was dilated enough, etc it was just a very instinctive - I need to go to the place to give birth now. The car drive was difficult. I needed to lean on my side. I was keen to not have things slow down so I shut my eyes and focused again on breathing through the contractions. Things did not slow down!

We walked from the car park to the midwife led unit, stopping for contractions along the way. We got to the midwife led unit about 5am and were greeted by Amy our first midwife. She was so lovely. She told me I was so calm for a first time mum, really in control of strong surges and that I was doing great. I felt on top of the world. Then I was examined and told I was 3cm despite feeling like I was 100cm (yes, one metre) so I was absolutely gutted by this. I was so afraid I was going to be told to go home as I felt I needed to be here at this stage, I didn’t know how to begin to verbalise how much I could not cope with another drive. She could see they were coming hard and fast with little break between so she suggested I try to for a little walk as I technically wasn’t in established labour. She left us in the room and I tried to figure out how I was meant to go walking around hallways feeling like this and needing to sway and breathe near constantly!? She left us to it. Needless to say I didn’t leave the room.

After about 20 minutes or so I asked Tom to call her back in as I felt like I needed help. A little wobble occurred. Amy then ran the pool for me, getting in provided relief but I soon found I was struggling to maintain that swaying action I had done before. I also didn’t like being physically removed from Tom. I needed something firm to ground me and without that I felt quite vulnerable.

I had specifically requested a midwife led birth having been given the option to go consultant led because of some other non pregnancy health issues just so I could maximise the possibility to have the option for a water bath so I was shocked I didn’t find it that helpful. I spent an hour there, this was by far the hardest part. Tom was so important to have close to me and I felt like access to him was restricted though I could kind of grunt at him and he knew what I meant - water, lucozade, rubbing me, etc.

Before Amy’s shift ended she came to check on me. By now Tom had set the room up with candles and was spraying my lavender room scent. I felt quite vulnerable and needed a plan. Amy offered me pethidine or the option to wait 15/20mins for a re-examination at 7am with the new midwife on shift with the option of gas and air if I had progressed to 4cm. If I had the pethidine I couldn’t remain in the pool, it may slow things down or make me feel sick. It was great I had a practised way to think through things, I used my BRAIN and hunkered down for the next 15-20mins knowing that I couldn’t use the bath if I had pethidine. I made it through and then in came the amazing Naomi. She took one look at me wriggling around like a sea creature in the bath and I can remember her saying ‘you’re definitely going to be more than 4cm, let’s get you out and examine you so we can give you something’. Music to my ears. She was so wonderfully positive and straight forward. I felt safe with her. I got out of the bath and that was absolutely the right move for me.

Naomi realised for me to be able to actually lay down I needed something so she gave me the gas and air first and instructed me how to use it. This moment will forever live on in my memory because it was an absolute game changer, once I took a couple of breaths of that thing I knew I could do this. It dulled things just enough that I could breathe nicely through the contractions and keep calm. It just facilitated my hypnobirthing tools. Despite being sick all through pregnancy I did not feel the least bit queasy with the gas. My husband says he saw me light up when I had that ‘Ahaaah’ moment - I remember thinking ‘I can really do this!!’, also ‘I know why people abuse this stuff’ and ‘flipping heck, this is worth the no drinking for 9 months’. I lay back and Naomi told me I had reached 6cm! I was thrilled - this was less than 2 hrs since being checked and I had dilated 3cm in that time. I was in active labour - my notes officially say 07.45 am for that.

I used the gas and air continuously, enjoyed my music with Tom and tried to keep upright and moving around the room. This was a lovely chill part to the labour, Morning Sun by Melanie Gardot was on my playlist and things were looking good. I felt at this stage like I could enjoy the process.

Then I used the loo in between contractions and my urine was sampled showing high protein. Naomi then went to check my blood pressure. A few different machines were suddenly being used to check my blood pressure and then there were a few sterner midwives in the room. The mood changed and I was being asked how I felt and quickly given some labetalol. Tom was being told to pack things up and that we were being moved upstairs immediately. We were told my blood pressure was very high, that I needed to go upstairs to be assessed and this was in mine and the babies best interests. I was whizzed up in a wheelchair and small tip - I used the mouth piece of the gas and air to bite down on for the transfer which really helped.

Now this all probably should have made me freak out but I felt very much that things were progressing well, I was proud I had coped with the discomfort without anything other than my breathing until I was 6cm dilated and I was on the whole excited to meet my baby. I also knew I was in the right place and if anything them spotting an issue and dealing with it so quickly made me feel more safe.

Once in the obstetrics unit monitors were placed around my bump which were quite uncomfortable and a clip was placed vaginally directly onto babies head. Everything became a lot more restricted but I followed their directions. My focus was on staying calm, I was checked again and told I was 9cm. My wonderful midwife, Naomi, stayed with me and I was so grateful for that. The consultant came in to check a few things and I recall at this point telling him I was struggling to deal with the surges. I feel like this was likely transition as not long after this the noises I was making changed. Baby was making her way down the canal nicely and with each surge it felt like a huge relief to push along. I accepted coached pushing because I liked the support from my midwife.

My husband and I were invited to feel her head as she was crowning - this spurred me on. There was then some concerns about the trace, baby had started to show some signs of distress and it was noted that she was coming back to back or ‘sunny side up’ which accounted for all the labour in my back.

I had an episiotomy under some local anaesthetic. My back water broke with the next contraction which I thought was the baby, was a bit disappointed that it wasn’t! After one or two more contractions she quite literally tumbled out face first at 10.25 am. She was placed on my chest straight away, wriggling and crying. I thanked the consultant and two midwives and then realised I couldn’t figure out the gender in all the relief and emotion. After taking it all in I realised ‘we have a daughter’, we both started crying. We had delayed cord clamping, skin to skin and she fed quite quickly.

I had the injection for delivery of the placenta, this felt like the most satisfying poo ever and my midwife showed my husband and I. I regret not taking a photo of it because it’s just so class to see what your body has created to sustain your darling.

We stayed in for 2 days after to check my blood pressure was ok and Bláthnaid was doing alright. I found breastfeeding difficult initially but there was a lot of support while in the hospital.

If you’ve gotten this far my take home is, the PBC allowed me to trust my body and helped me to figure out what environment I felt safe to give birth in. I found the birth empowering and I was proud of how I did. Ten days after Bláthnaid was born our home was flooded, we lost the contents on the ground floor and had to move out. Three weeks later we were in lockdown with everyone else. If I hadn’t felt so positive about Bláthnaid’s birth I can imagine struggling quite a bit more with the following months to come. It’s just done a lot of good for me as a new mum this year so thank you to the other mums who’s stories I’ve read before, @siobhanMiller and the PBC team.