Birth story - Petronela and baby Isaiah

*Trigger warning* - previous history of pregnancy losses- miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies, unsuccessful induction, contractions, emergency C-section

Although mine may not initially seem like a positive birth experience, I have been able to focus on so many parts of my experience and view them in a positive way - mostly due to the hypnobirthing preparation that I had completed. Lots of it didn't quite go how I initially envisioned it would, but I was able to put a lot of the skills and techniques that I had learnt into practice.

Some background:

This was my fifth pregnancy after four losses including three miscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy that resulted in me losing one of my fallopian tubes. We had been ttc for over 3 years and extremely excited (and very apprehensive) during this pregnancy. We were delighted to find out that we were expecting a boy and due to me having hypothyroidism, I was offered additional growth scans and my pregnancy care was overseen by the consultant. My monthly growth scans placed our sons weight on the 95th percentile and towards the end of my pregnancy, my consultant began to express some concerns over me going to full term. Having thought carefully about my options, I was happy to try an induction so it was booked in for 39+1 weeks.

I arrived at the hospital at 9am on the Saturday morning and was quickly given the first pessary. I had been warned that it could take a while for things to really get started so I was very excited to start experiencing contractions and feel them progress. After a few hours, they became quite intense and close together. It was decided that due to the nature of the contractions, the best choice would be to give me an injection to stop my contractions. They were concerns at that point about how my uterus would react if the intense contractions carried on. I was really pleased that my partner and I were able to use the BRAIN technique to help us with this initial hurdle and we remained positive! I was offered some pain relief and decided that as I still wasn't dilating, some pethidine may help me relax over night.

The next morning, I was given the second pessary and again, found the contractions built quickly and became intense and close together. I was able to use up breathing to help and visualised my contractions as waves - which I found comforting and calming. When it became clear that I still wasn't dilating, I was offered some liquid morphine to take the edge off the discomfort and again, was left over night with the hope that my contractions would calm down.

The next morning, I thought carefully about my options and discussed these with the midwife. I said that after two days of intense reactions to the pessaries and very little progress, I did not feel comfortable carrying on with the pessaries and would like to explore some other options. Although I trusted the Midwives to take care of me, I felt well informed and knew that I ultimately was the one who needed to make the decisions for my care. The midwife completed an examination and we were both delighted to find out that I was 2cm dilated which meant that I could move to the labour ward to have my waters broken. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, I wasn't able to be taken over that day as there was not a room available for me. So I had to stay put for the time being. This is where things began to get more challenging. My husband was my rock and kept me focused and positive.

The next morning, the midwife rushed me over to the labour ward as soon as a bed had become available for me. My waters were broken and I was put on the hormone drip. It was great being in my own room by this point because I was able to take ownership of the space and try and make it work for me and my labour. I had created playlists in advance which came in handy and printed off pictures that I wanted to put around me.

I found gas and air to be great at first but as my contractions became increasingly intense, I discussed pain relief options with the midwife and decided to go for an epidural. Unfortunately, this did not last very long and I was soon able to feel my contractions ramping up. The anaesthetists visited me 3 more times to try and increase my dose and change the position of the epidural. This was unsuccessful. The doctors came in to discuss what my options were as I was still not dilating any further by this point. It was 3pm and it was decided that the midwife would monitor me to another 3 hours and if I was still not dilating, then we would look to do a C-section. After 3 hours, it became clear that we could not wait until 7pm to have another examination so the midwife checked to see if I was dilating any further. I was only at 3cm so we prepped for surgery.

Isaiah Emmanuel was born at 7.40pm on the 19th April via C-section. Although this was not the birth I had dreamed about, I never felt like I lost control. I felt empowered by the knowledge that I had gained with this hypnobirthing course. I knew what my limits were and what I could be flexible with. Although I had initially been keen to deliver naturally, only using gas and air, I am very pleased that I had researched other pain relief options so that my husband and I were able to make quick decisions on the day. Although it was difficult for my husband to watch me go through four full days of contractions, he was able to advocate for me towards the end.

It may not have been my dream birthing experience; it was incredibly special and I have so much to be thankful for.