Birth story - Olivia and baby Sophie

A very very fast birth, but a very very long story - I really wanted to share exactly what it felt like to use and experience hypnobirthing.

So, although it makes this post so much longer, I wanted to share a bit of background and my preparation for this birth because I feel that it contributed so much to it being the amazing experience that it was. Feel free to skip ahead to the actual BIRTH STORY.

BACKGROUND:
My first birth experience was, medically, a very positive and straightforward one. I went into labour naturally, had a relatively short first time labour, had an epidural during the last 2 hours and pushed the baby out in 2 pushes. However, it was still a not-so-positive experience for myself as I had wanted to have no epidural but I became so incredibly overwhelmed and panicked from the contractions that I could not manage them. I went away feeling that I would never be able to “do it without pain medication”, that it was something that I personally wasn’t capable of, and only other braver women could.

Ironically, I had actually attended hypnobirthing classes in Cape Town for that birth, and thought I would be able to relax enough and not be fearful and then everything would be ok. In hindsight, the problem was that I had never actually properly taken what I had learnt about hypnobirthing on board. I hadn’t properly done enough relaxation training, and most importantly I hadn’t actually mentally worked through some of my fears of birth and honestly bought into the positive affirmations. I hadn't properly decided to not have an epidural or figured out the reasons why I didn't want it.

Fast forward 2.5 years later and looking forward to my next child, I so desperately wanted to try again to have a medication free birth. I came across the Positive Birth Company and immediately connected with Siobhan and her way of speaking about birth. Her YouTube videos were so encouraging for me that I was so excited to purchase the full course.. and then absolutely devoured up all the videos and mp3s. I mentally worked through so much of my previous labour experience and what went wrong. I wrote my own positive affirmations to go along with the others and spoke through them with my husband, who also completely bought in to the science of hypnobirthing. In so many ways I went into this birth with such a healthy frame of mind and completely ready to face the surges and to allow them to happen, rather than to get increasingly panicked by them.

So finally, my actual birth story :)

BIRTH STORY:
During the week, I had been losing a little bit of mucus plug, so I felt like labour was going to be happening round week 38/39. On Sunday (38w3d) midday, I started to feel really strong Braxton Hicks. Now Braxton Hicks happen to me throughout my entire pregnancies so I’m really used to them. These ones were strong and accompanied with a bit of pain which made me start using my contraction app on my phone but more out of interest than anything else. I’d had painful Braxton Hicks before so I didn’t actually think it was anything. I went about my day, had my family over for Sunday dessert and put my little girl down for bed, all whilst timing my “Braxton Hicks” with my app, and not telling anyone. Over the afternoon/evening they varied from an hour apart, to 20 minutes apart.

That evening I worked on a sewing project and I remember thinking, I should probably go to bed if this is actual labour so I can get some rest, but I don’t feel like it! I really didn’t think it was. At about 9:30pm, when things were more regularly every 10 to 15 minutes (still just strong, kind of painful tightenings), I eventually told my husband that he might not be going to work tomorrow. He went to bed, and I carried on happily sewing. Looking back, having a sewing activity like that to keep my mind busy and calm during early labour was probably one of the best things (besides maybe getting some rest!) that I could have done – I had such a chilled and relaxing evening.

Around 11pm, I eventually admitted that this was probably labour (8 minutes apart) and I should get to bed. But then, I started packing and prepping some last minute hospital bag things and essential oil sprays and eventually got into the shower 12:00.

I remember thinking to myself as I got out the shower: “Last time I knew it was labour because I had a ‘bloody show’, so I’ll only officially say I’m in labour if I have a ‘bloody show’.” So I immediately went to the toilet, and ta daa! – there was my ‘bloody show’. Clearly God was trying to hurry me up into acknowledging this labour, because nothing else up to this point had convinced me. Between 12:15 – 1am (contractions were now 3-5 minutes apart), I still carried on faffing around the house (I even got some dishes done because I didn’t want to come home to dirty dishes after everything!) and went to have a last cuddle and moment with my sleeping toddler and said a prayer over her.

Eventually at 1am I got into bed, a bit too alert to sleep, but now anxious about not having rested. I thought, perhaps, I could sleep in the 5 minutes between contractions for a little bit. I lay down and after the first one, I scrapped that idea and decided to wake up my husband. That one contraction was finally “very unpleasant!” and I realized that I was no longer going to be able to do this on my own anymore. From then on, I started to use up breathing and needed to go kneel at the couch during, what I from then started to call, "surges".

Michael then got into action and phoned the hospital and got dressed, whilst I phoned my parents so that my Dad could come over and stay at our flat to watch over our 3 year old. Michael and I both managed to eat some toast and spoke jokingly over the fact that our daughter would wake at 7am later that morning to a new sister.. little did we know that that would be true and that it was going to be all over much sooner than that!

My dad arrived at 1:45 and by 2am I was finally shooed out the door (I was still checking I had everything, but even my dad was now concerned that I was needing to stop and up breathe every 2-3 minutes!). The drive to the hospital was not fun (for some reason, surges are so much worse in a car!) and up breathing really helped. We got to the hospital at 2:10. It was so lovely and calming to be out on a warm summer’s night and walk through an empty and quiet hospital. We went up to the labour ward where there were 2 midwives and nobody else! The place was empty! We had our pick of labour room (we chose the same one we had had our first baby in, which was cool) and I only ever spoke and dealt with 1 midwife, who was lovely.

By now my surges were 2 minutes apart and I had to stop talking/walking during them and just up-breathe.
Michael went to fill in paperwork and I had to give a urine sample (surges in a toilet cubicle by myself – oh so fun!). The midwife and I worked through each others expectations – I won the “no hospital gown, I’m wearing my own clothes” conversation and she won the “we really do have to assess contractions/baby’s heartbeat on the bed for 20 minutes before you do your own thing” conversation. Being on the bed during surges was awful but I stayed calm and positive because I knew it was for only 20 minutes and I felt like the midwife was keen to let me direct things after that. At 3am she checked me and I was 2cm dilated. (I had previously understood from conversations with my gynae that they would need to do just 1 cervical check and then I could choose to not have any after that if I wished.) I wasn’t at all disheartened by the 2cm news, because I knew that dilation can change so quickly and is therefore not an accurate indication of how long things will be.

So I happily “began” labouring from 3am (the midwife then left us by ourselves, as per our birth preferences) and told myself to just take it each hour at a time and that I would mentally check in again at 4am. So we got into action. I started playing my worship music off my phone, we put a pillow and towel on the floor for my knees and put another towel on the birth ball and I rested my arms and head over the ball. Michael got out the TENS machine, figured out how to use it and got it on my back and that’s pretty much how we stayed and what we used.

At some point I changed position to sitting on ball but reverted back to leaning on it because I felt like sitting on it was blocking up the babies exit ;). At some point, Michael got me a cool cloth for my forehead and I sucked a sweet at another point, but other than that we used nothing else. We got into a good routine at each surge, I would call out to Michael when a surge would begin and I would press the tens machine button and start up breathing and he would squeeze my hips together and rub my back until a surge finished.

Each surge was tough. I remember thinking that they were just as awful as my last birth and yet I was not overwhelmed by them - I was not reaching ‘breaking point’. I didn’t ever panic or feel that it was too much. I fully contribute that to the tools and mental thinking given to me from Siobhan’s course.

The tens machine and the massages were so essential in my coping routine, but I would add that, in terms of pain relief, eventually everything loses its effectiveness. They worked wonderfully for me as means to ACT, to do something to make it through a surge. As each surge began, I would begin to feel some anxiety to do something and pushing the Tens button and calling out to Michael for a hip squeeze helped me feel better and I was so grateful to have something to do help combat that anxiety at the beginning of each surge. But honestly, the most important tools to make it through the surge, were my thoughts whilst I up-breathed. These would stop my “beginning a surge” anxiety from ever building.

During a surge I would focus on, and look for, the peak in the surge to break and once it had, I would feel grateful as it slowly dropped its intensity. I would use my affirmations and tell myself that "I was ok" and that "I believed in Christ".

[We had a funny moment during one surge, I started saying out loud to myself “I’m ok, I’m ok, I’m ok”. Michael thought I was telling him that the surge was finished so he stopped the hip squeeze. To which I then said, “What are you doing? I’m not actually ok! I’m just saying it to myself!” We both laughed and humour was a lovely positive addition to the labour room.]

I would tell myself to allow the surge to happen. Using positive words really did help me to not reach panic stage. Looking back, I can see how vital this was - it really does affect your ability to take on each surge and to make it through to the end! I never allowed myself to use the word “sore” in my head and chose after each surge to be positive about them.. though at one point I do remember eventually needing to say “yuck!” after one surge!

After each surge it was just about recuperating and focusing on being glad that one was done instead of dreading the next one. Never thinking about surges to come or ‘how many more’ or assessing if I could manage future ones. I allowed each surge to happen, knowing that it was progressing things. I remember wanting progress, wanting the waters to break, looking forward to downstage. (In my last birth I think I was still very scared and fearful of things progressing and of experiencing pushing without pain meds, and that added to my panic and pain.)

Eventually, I found it harder and harder to breathe slowly and calmly. This is where Michael was amazing. He would hear the panic levels in my breathing and would remind me to breathe slower and lower (not high pitched). He would keep bringing me down and helped me to keep my breathing in check when it got of pace.

I remember looking at the clock and seeing 4am passing and I felt strong and positive. Surges were “yucky” and I was not enjoying them BUT I was calm and in control and we were doing it. And I felt really proud of myself. It was so wonderful to have the place empty and dimly lit.. we literally forgot about everyone else and it was just the 2 of us, taking on each surge. Listening to my worship music and saying my affirmations brought such a sweet spirit and peace into the room and I felt so close to God.

I also felt so in touch with my body and in control. There came a point when I felt like I really needed my waters to break to move things forward and I felt my body was trying to break the waters with each surge and so I focused on willing that to happen when surges came. Just a surge or two after feeling that, at 4:25, I felt my waters break (I was wearing a pad, because of bleeding earlier when I gave the urine sample) so it just went into the pad (so there was no mess on the bottoms I was wearing – a small thing, but I remember being pleased about that.)

I told Michael to call the midwife. He pushed the call button but it wasn’t working. When she hadn’t come by 4:30, he went out to call her.

This is where transition happened and up-breathing turned very high pitched. It was scary not having Michael to do hip squeeze and the Tens button was not helping. This is where I had my only wobble and in my head I thought, just once, “oh man, I’m going to have to do an epidural – I can’t handle this. But oh man, I don’t want to the money spent on hypnobirthing to be wasted!” (lol - the things you think about in labour!). Then I dispelled that thought and began to really hope that this was transition because then that meant that this was the peak of it all and downstage was coming. And I really wanted down stage to come! Again, I felt really in touch with my body, and felt like my body was trying to move the baby down - which it was!

The nurse came in, saying she had spoken to my gynae and she was on her way and that she had been instructed to assess my contractions and do a cervical check again now that waters had broken. This poor midwife did not know that the woman she had left 90 minutes ago with 2cm dilation and now a broken waters, was actually going through transition and about to give birth VERY soon!

I remember telling her politely to “shush” and stop talking and to “hold on” during surges. She asked me to get on the bed and I refused saying “no, not now!”. Michael asked her if she could bring the monitor round to us (we were on the other side of the bed on the floor), to which she agreed. He then helped to slip off my bottoms.

Whilst she was busy trying to move equipment etc, that was when I suddenly felt the biggest pressure (like a poo) push on my perineum and anus. It wasn’t a “I need to push” feeling, it was a “something is pushing!” feeling. The midwife said, “no, you can’t push, we need to check you first” and said, “I have no control over this, its just pushing!”. I think this is where she finally clicked that this was happening now and she gave up trying to assess me and got into action and called the other midwife. This overwhelming “something is pushing” feeling would come in waves and it was quite a crazy all body experience each time - not painful but just very involuntary. They tried to get me to let go of the ball (I was still on all fours, leaning on the ball) but the surges were still happening and I didn’t want to let go. They eventually got stern with me (for which I am grateful for) and said “you have to work with us”. So I let go (that was hard to do!) and was then squatting upright on my haunches, holding onto the midwife in front and Michael holding behind me.

Immediately after letting go of the ball, everything happened super fast. I felt the pushing pressure again and then felt a big popping feeling (we later figured that was my tearing happening) and then I felt something come out of me. I said “somethings come out” (this was the head). I leaned back against Michael, they slipped the cord off her neck and then the rest of her just kind of slipped out at 4:52am. No pushing or anything, she just hurtled her way out of me. I then lay back into Michael and they handed her to me.

I remember feeling so surprised that it was finished and so happy that it was over. It wasn’t even 5am and I had mentally prepped myself for so much longer. I was almost giddy with relief and the realisation that what I had been wanting and working towards for so long had happened - I had actually done it, an epidural-free birth! I couldn’t believe it. It was such a wonderful moment meeting our little girl and being able to enjoy her and enjoy how cute and sweet she was in the middle of all of those happy feelings.

I pulled my t-shirt off and laid her on my chest while I rested on Michael. Whilst we waited for the placenta on the floor, we took a selfie and sent the news to our family that Sophie Tess was born. At some point then, Michael cut her cord.

We waited about 5 minutes and I was starting to get uncomfortable. I was about to ask for the placenta injection when my gynae arrived. She pushed on my stomach and the placenta easily came out, no injection needed. Then I was helped up and put on the bed - finally I wanted to be on the bed! I pulled my sports bra off and did proper skin to skin whilst my gynae stitched me up. The local anesthetic and stitches were not pleasant - that’s when I finally said “OW!”. It felt good to allow myself to finally say the word.

Sophie latched easily and nursed for like half an hour and was so calm and alert. After that we called them to do weighings etc. and then Michael took her and I got a bath run - all still in the same labour room. Having a bath straight away after birth, was big for me because not being able to move/walk etc was one of the things I didn’t like about having an epidural last time. It was so great being mobile immediately and being able to sort myself out and clean myself up. I lay in the bath watching Michael hold her as the morning sun rose and came in through the windows and I took a picture of Sophie experiencing her first dawn with her dad.

After visitors and big sis meeting little sis, I left the hospital at 1pm that same afternoon and came home. Another victory reminder of no epidural was walking out hospital a few hours later and not having to be away from my older daughter. Then with our new family of 4 all took an afternoon nap. It felt so good to be back in my own bed and to sleep on my stomach again!

I really feel that the birth went so quickly because of how calm I was (both the evening before as well as in the actual intense labour part) and how that helped me to let go and just allow my body to labour. I cannot thank the Positive Birth Company enough for giving me the tools to have such a wonderful, wonderful birthing experience!