Birth story - Morag and baby Tommy

I really want to share my positive birth story as I found reading others really helped ease my anxieties during pregnancy. I find it so exciting that I now have my own story to share.

Being pregnant in the midst of a pandemic definitely had its challenges, attending scans and hospital appointments all alone was scary and completely alien to me. It definitely heightened the fear and anxieties I already felt around giving birth. I found the Positive Birth Company on Instagram and thought I might as well give it a go... thank god I did. I was petrified at the thought of giving birth and thought there was no way I was going to be able to cope with the extreme pain people love to tell you about!

Friday morning, 2 days before my due date I woke up and went to the toilet where I had some slimy snot like discharge which I now believe was a part of my mucus plug. I thought maybe things were starting to move along but didn’t get too excited. I had a midwife appointment on the Monday where I would have been offered a sweep (which I was unsure whether to go for or not) so I thought, if nothing happened by Monday, I might as well get the sweep as I felt my body was in preparation anyway.

Friday night I needed to get out of the house so Ryan and I took a walk around the neighbourhood. I was struggling with pelvic pain in the third trimester so the walk was a short one. That night I was getting really strong tightenings every so often. I thought they were maybe contractions but they were actually pretty painless. I managed to sleep for a good few hours.

Saturday morning Ryan left for work and the tightenings had stopped. Ryan’s Mum and Granny were due to visit that afternoon. I got out of bed around 10am and went to the toilet and I lost more of that awful snot like stuff. I thought surely it wouldn’t be long. I went for a shower and started to feel pretty crampy. I got myself ready, I really wasn’t feeling up for visitors but thought I couldn’t cancel so last minute. Ryan’s Mum and Granny arrived at 12 and I was now getting this cramp like feeling every so often maybe 10 minutes apart. I made them tea and coffee and we sat out on our decking.

“So, due date tomorrow, are you feeling any twinges or that?” They kept asking. “No I think it will be a while yet. He will come when he’s ready” I replied. I was always keen to tell people that only a small percentage of babies are born on their due date and they don’t really mean anything. Which I learnt from the course. I was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable at this point but just wanted to carry on as normal incase this wasn’t it. Then my Auntie shows up with a present to drop off and Ryan’s mum eagerly encourages her to stay for a cuppa. Might as well have a party in the garden at this point so there I am hosting making tea and coffee whilst getting this wave of cramp coming every so often. Luckily they didn’t stay for long. At about 1:30p.m they had left.

I texted Ryan to come home from work and phoned my mum.. no response! I took my bouncy ball upstairs to the bedroom and started to time the surges using the Freya app. They were coming roughly every 5 minutes apart and were totally manageable. They really would come on like a wave and then tail off. The App guiding me through my breathing was amazing and really gave me something to focus on. Ryan got home not long after and he got the tense machine hooked up to my back. That also really helped to give me something to focus on and take my mind away from the surges.

We phoned the hospital and they advised us to carry on until I was getting 3 surges every 10 minutes or until I felt like I wasn’t coping anymore. We carried on in the bedroom until 4 o’clock where I decided it was time. I didn’t want to be sent home but I also didn’t want to leave it too late and be struggling to even get into the hospital. I was really set on getting an epidural, the whole way through pregnancy that was something that had always reassured me. If I didn’t cope there was something that could take away the pain. Even after doing the course I still was certain that I wouldn’t be able to cope with the intense surges and actually feeling pushing a baby out.. no way was I capable.

I arrived at hospital at 4:30pm looking like a crazy woman, I had my tens machine on, headphones in, having to stop every couple of minutes down the corridor to breath through the surges. Ryan had to wait outside the ward whilst I got checked. I was 4cms dilated! Hurray! I thought, ‘get me up to the labour ward and I can get my epidural!’ Unfortunately I must of picked the busiest night to go into labour. Labour ward was so busy I had to stay in 9A, a ward you go if you are in early stages of labour or getting induced. Ryan was able to come back in which was a relief! I took some diamorphine which felt amazing and totally took the edge of the surges. I stayed in 9A until 9pm, this was probably the hardest part of labour waiting to get up to the labour ward but surprisingly for being in active labour the surges were still totally manageable. I continued to use the tens machine and just let the Freya app play the mediation music. Without this I would have probably really struggled.

My lovely midwife prepped everything for my epidural and took bloods and put my cannula in. I got checked again at 9pm and I was 7cms dilated... I couldn’t believe I had gotten this far with some diamorphine, tens machine and Freya app. The midwife decided they really needed to get me up to labour ward so she wheeled me up whilst Ryan trailed behind us with all the bags, dropping the snacks all over the floor. I remember saying, ‘just leave him and get me up there!!’

We made it up to labour ward where I was given gas and air. (I found it was nice in between surges to make me feel all dozy but didn’t have much effect in the midst of a surge) My midwife buzzed the anaesthetist 3 times... he was in emergency theatre. My lovely new midwife Jackie arrived in green scrubs. I looked at her with a big Cheshire cat smile as she replied, ‘i’m not the anaesthetist.’ Damn it!!

The anaesthetist finally arrived but told us it would be another 20 minute wait until she would be able to fit the epidural and it would take another 30 minutes to actually work. At this point I was experiencing what I like to call bum contractions where I felt this huge pressure in my bum every time a surge would come on. I kept asking if I should try and do a poo and their reply was, ‘that’s what having a baby feels like.’

At 11 o’clock I decided that there was no point getting the epidural and it would probably have no effect when I was feeling all this pressure. Ryan and I got really excited at this point because I wasn’t holding off, waiting for anything I just started to embrace it and couldn’t believe it wouldn’t be long until we met our baby. My waters still hadn’t gone, which I think added to weight I was feeling down in my bum. I was feeling the urge to bare down every time I got a surge so the midwife just told me to go with what I was feeling. I got a big surge and I pushed down a little and POP my waters gushed everywhere. Ryan said it was just like what you see in the movies. This took away a lot of the pressure and I continued to push with every surge. Pushing wasn’t painful and actually felt like I was actively doing something to relieve the pressure.

I pushed for 1 hour and 45 minutes and at 12:56 a.m on the 11th of October ( MY DUE DATE) our wee Tommy was born. The head crowning was a bit stingy but nothing unbearable. They were going to give me an episiotomy right before he was born as I was loosing a lot of blood but I pushed with all my might and managed to avoid that. I did end up with a 2nd degree tear and needed a lot of stitches but that sounds a lot scarier than what it was. I was just delighted and on a natural high that I managed to give birth with NO EPIDURAL!!

I am so proud of myself and honestly want to thank the Positive Birth Company so much. If it wasn’t for their Freya app, this blog, with all the positive stories, and the digital pack I would have really struggled. I look back on my birth as such a positive experience. I want to reassure first time mums that are due to give birth that birth doesn’t need to be a scary painful dreaded experience. Our bodies are designed to carry our babies and birth them in all different ways. At no point in my labour did I think this pain is unbearable and I’m not coping. Your body just takes over and you will manage.