Birth story - Lucy and baby Ottilie

I started to research hypnobirthing as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I had had 2 previous hospital births, and I didn’t come away with many positive vibes from either. I was determined to enjoy and embrace my last pregnancy.

A couple of months before I became pregnant (a bit of a unexpected pregnancy....) I found out my mum didn’t have long left to live, which was all made harder living in NZ, having moved a few years previous.
My pregnancy was an emotional rollercoaster, flying to and from NZ and the UK as much as I could before she passed. Being pregnant, going through the loss of someone, in this case my mum, is so hard, heartbreakingly hard. Grief is such a painful thing, having a life end and a new one beginning makes you feel like you’re on a perpetual swing going between little glimpses of excitement to massive lows.
She passed the week I returned from the UK as Covid hit and NZ borders were closing, so I had to choose, say goodbye to mum or face not being with my husband till after the birth. I take comfort In the fact I was only talking to her and my sister 5 mins before, and we all had a good giggle together, what us girls all know how to do when things are hard.

Exactly a week later I felt the babies first kick, it felt like mum was with me, giving me a little kick up the bum, and saying ‘hey, you’ve got this girl.’ Grief in pregnancy is tough, on the one hand you want it to be the happiest time of your life, and on the other you’re going through some of the toughest days you’ll ever have.

After she passed I was even more determined to have a positive focus in my life (I needed it as home school was driving me crazy). I watched all the videos, and listened to the affirmations on long walks during lockdown. I’d originally chosen to birth in a birthing centre nearby but I changed my mind at 30 weeks to have a home birth as we couldn’t have family over for the birth (stupid Covid), so having my husband and kids close felt so right for us.

At 40 weeks and 4 days, On a Friday night at 7pm while watching a movie with the kids I started to feel a few niggles, so I jumped on my ball and kept mobile And got my Freya app going. My husband packed my kids off to bed as they’d need sleep for later on. I rang my midwifes at 10pm, and they were with me in 30 mins. They both turned up and checked my purple line, and let me be.

We had a giggle and had a cuppa in between contractions. My husband got the pool running and the contractions were coming thick and fast. My affirmations were in the background too, which just boosted my confidence levels so much! I was so excited to birth this time round, I didn’t feel worried, or nervous, just excited to meet our baby.

At 4am I was getting tired and impatient and I wanted to know how many cm I was, sadly only 8cm by that point. I had a bit of a wobble, got out the pool and snuggled up with my husband in bed and had a good cry and fell asleep. All of sudden I woke up at 5am and started vomiting and it was game on! My body knew exactly what to do, the way your body takes control is such a surreal and amazing thing.

I got into a squatting position on the floor and just went for it. The pushing felt much more intense third time round, but in the back of my head all I could think about was mum, and if she could fight so hard for 5 years against cancer, then I could push this baby out with ease.

Ottilie was born screaming her head off at 5:48am. My kids and husband were with me, it felt so right to be at home, so normal. My eldest cut the cord once all the blood was gone, and I passed her around for cuddles while I washed and got tucked up in bed. My midwife brought me a cup of coffee and my husband made bacon sarnies for everyone, which was heaven, then Ottilie and I fell fast asleep in bed.

I was always sceptical of children being at births, but I feel like I’ve shown them that birth is beautiful!!! And not the scary/screaming horror show you see on tv. The midwife spent time teaching the kids and showing them how amazing the placenta was. It was a beautiful moment, and I’m so thankful we were all together to share it. I felt totally blessed and so overwhelmed that something so amazing could come out of such an awful year of my life and for many others this year. Ottilie has just brought life back to me again. I still have wobbly days, especially when all I want to do is call mum and have a cry about something silly.

I cannot express how thankful I am that I came across your amazing videos and affirmations, whether it’s your 1st or 3rd baby, it helps enormously! I've taken the breathing techniques into my everyday life, and I’ve taught my kids them for when they’re feeling overwhelmed.