Birth story - Jess and baby Luca

*Trigger Warning* - Mention of pain, tears and contractions.

I read lots of these stories up to and after giving birth to my son. They were super useful. I thought mine would be short but actually....

My cousin recommended the PBC course and I started watching it with my husband at about 26 weeks. I found some aspects of it really helpful like getting into the positive mindset for the delivery of my baby and accepting any changes to my birth plan that may occur. However, being the teacher that I am, I think some graphics/ images in the video would have been helpful too.

We moved to Cambodia at the end of July 2020, we are from the uk and prior to Cambodia, we had been living in Tanzania for a few years. I thought I would struggle to conceive but I conceived pretty much straight away and bingo in August I was pregnant.

I had a relatively straight forward pregnancy. Some morning sickness at the beginning, anaemia throughout and pelvic girdle pain and coccyx pain at the end of the pregnancy. We had thought about returning to the uk for the birth but with covid and quarantine and work and time off, we figured it was easier to stay put in Cambodia. We chose a specific hospital and we hired a private midwife in March, the hospital would allow her to be at the birth. Two pregnant friends recommended a certain dr so we went with her too. All was going well.

On the 1st of June, the day after my due date, we arrived at the hospital for a check up to find out the midwife we had hired tested positive for covid so she wouldn’t be at the birth. I panicked and burst into tears. The hospital admin actually mocked me when we came to leave. I didn’t like that. The following day we found out that our dr would be self isolating due to her contact with the midwife and the hospital was quite shady. So the following day we decided to switch hospitals. The new hospital that we opted for was around the corner from us and came recommended, it’s a private hospital run by Japanese drs and midwives who train Cambodian nurses and drs. We had actually visited it before and the Japanese drs and midwives who worked there actually lived in our building, we could see the hospital from our living room window. On the 3rd of June we had an appointment with the obgyn at the new hospital and we were really happy with how we were treated. I was now overdue, my due date was 30/5 they decided that by Tuesday 8th I would need an induction. I was given a sweep and nothing happened. We took the weekend to get ready at home. And then on Tuesday we checked in to the hospital. Because of covid we had to stay in the hospital until being discharged with the baby. Upon arrival we had to have covid tests: chest x ray and blood tests.

Tuesday morning, no sign of baby and we arrived at the hospital with all our stuff, it looked like we were going away for a month! By lunchtime, I was given the first of 6 tablets. One tablet per hour. Contractions started and slowly got more intense over Tuesday night but I was still a way to go! Wednesday morning I was given more tablets, I vomited breakfast up and then contractions really grew in intensity and I went from 4cm dilated to 10cm in a few hrs. For me the pain was in my lower back and glutes, it helped to think of the PBC video and that ‘I can manage anything for a minute.’ During the contractions, my raw/animal self came out! I had spent the course of Wednesday in my room with two midwives popping in to examine the ctg monitor. It was attached all the time but I could move about. The room had a Japanese style toilet, which heated your bum up so this was great during intense contractions! By 2.30pm I was hopping from the toilet to the bed. I had brought a tens machine and paracetamol with me but didn’t use either. At 3, I said to Yori, our main midwife, ‘I think I need to poo,’ and she said, ‘let’s get you to the delivery room now.’

The delivery room was opposite our room and things really started to gather some pace! I crawled onto the bed and had to be on my back, I shouted my back hurts and, then the bed moved so I was sitting up with my legs in stirrups which wasn’t ideal but is what was needed at the time. My waters broke immediately and as soon as the dr joined, I was told to start pushing. After 30 mins and 6/7 pushes, Baby Luca was born. He came so quickly that I had quite a few tears and had to be stitched up. During this time, Luca was put on my chest and we had skin to skin time and my husband and I bonded with our son, it was love at first sight. Yori helped me to breastfeed Luca straight away. 4 days later the three of us went home.

What I’m amazed by now, looking back, is how your body just knows what to do! My body just kicked into gear during contractions and when it was time to push. I’m amazed that I did it without any pain relief and am relieved that I was able to have my husband there with me and have a natural delivery.

I didn’t quite get the birth I wanted, with a birth pool and birth ball, the ball was too small for me! However, ultimately, what matters is that Luca and I were safe and healthy and we still are. The hospital took great care of us and all during a global pandemic! The recovery time is something I hadn’t taken into consideration, it’s a slow process but each day is a little better. Luca is now 2.5 weeks old and we are adapting to life with him, which is full of challenges, laughter and joy.

Fellow mamas and mamas to be, you’ve got this!