Birth story - Hannah and baby George

✋Trigger Words- pre-eclampsia, collapsing after birth, 2nd degree tears, use of word contraction, baby needing help, hospital stay.

I didn't realise how long my story was! It is a looonngg one sorry! ⌚

It has taken me a while to decide if I should post this or not and even now I'm writing it as a note in my phone. It has taken me a while to see the positives in my labour and I felt others wouldn't want to read it. Now I look at it as really positive and something that showed me strength in myself that I didn't know I had.

Pregnancy:
Pregnancy was a rocky one🤰. I had morning sickness from about 8 weeks through to 21 and the again from 30 weeks. I also had kidney infections (I have one small kidney compared to normal), 2 episodes of reduced movement, a virus that was probably one of the worst illnesses I'd ever had and narrowly missed being hospitalised and baby pushing on my sciatic nerve. I also fell down the stairs and someone drove into my car on my way to work at 29 weeks pregnant. In my 27 years of life so far, I'd never had that many things happen, let alone in the space of 9 months 😅!

I knew that I would be consultant led after my first appointment due to families medial history and I was okay with this. I had mine and baby's heart checked at 17 weeks 4 days. This was a little stressful as they had not passed on my notes correctly and so it was an emergency appointment to get it done as it has to be in the 16 to 18 week window. This came back fine, and at this scan the lady asked if we would like to know the gender. We found out there and then and it made a slightly worrying scan feel special. We also had a scan to see if our little man was showing any signs of EDS.

I had growth scans every 4-8 weeks from 20 weeks onwards. I just saw these as extra chances to see him before he was here with us. We had to meet with consultants after each scan and whilst some where lovely and calm, it really did get frustrating having to explain to them why we were having scans nearly every time. One in particular seemed very judgemental that I hadn't gone for genetics testing, despite me explaining that it was a procedure I didn't want to do during pregnancy and that my mums consultant in London had already said not to. I did come out of this one with a few tears because I felt like I was being made out to do wrong by me and baby. I just thought to myself that I'd used BRAIN and even though it wasn't to do with labour or pregnancy, my anxiety around it would not have been good.

At the end of Jan I went to hospital unwell and with huge amounts of swelling. They monitored baby but said I was okay to go home, but should take some time off work. It turns out this was the start of the pre eclampsia but it was missed.

One of our scans showed that baby seemed to be loosing weight and so we had an extra growth scan put in. It was at this scan that they said the growth was fine, but I had extra fluid so it could be Gestational Diabetes. It turned out to be pre eclampsia and this was confirmed via heart rate and blood pressure monitoring, bloods and urine test. As it it had been missed, My blood pressure was very high so consultants came down to talk to me about immediate induction. I asked if I could go home and think about it, but they said with the results how they were they wouldn't be sending me home. I asked if I could have the pessary and go home but this also wasn't an option. Using BRAIN I could sense this wasn't an over reaction and called my husband to say he needed to come to the hospital. I had a big wobble at the point and got upset.

The midwives on the MDAU were lovely, but they said it was time to go to labour ward as it was closing time for the unit. I wasn't allowed to walk to the ward and had to be wheeled there instead and it was further confirmation that I was doing the right thing staying in hospital.

The midwife and a midwife in training on the labour ward were lovely. I had a cry (again) when I got into the room and mentioned to them I have a phobia of needles and hospitals. They were so understanding and just chatted to me cheerily and calmly. They said if I had any worries or concerns, I should just tell them. It turned out, through chatting, that the main midwife was a parent of children in the year group I taught and I'd taught her son maths that year so far! When they said it was time for the examination, I felt relaxed but it wasn’t possible to do a sweep and so it was pessary time. It all suddenly became very real in there. They were so supportive and talked me through everything which I really liked. They agreed for my husband to go and drop off our dog and get my hospital bags before doing the pessary because I worried I'd instantly go into labour and he wouldn't be with me. I watched TV, messaged my mum and my sister who were asking for updates and my best friend (she didn't know I was being induced as she was pregnant too at the time and I didn't want her to be worried or not sleep etc) and I tried to stay calm. I listened to some of the mp3s on the PBC website too which helped. I even used up breathing at this point to keep calm and relaxed.

Labour:
The Pessary was used at around 10:30pm. They monitored baby and said to try and sleep. This would have been okay but they had to keep coming in to check me and baby and I had to take medication for blood pressure too. I was also having regular blood tests. They also wanted to test me on some medication for blood pressure but it could cause migraines so I declined, as good as the up breathing was I'm not sure I could have laboured with a migraine 🙅‍♀️.

My waters broke at 3am because my husband made me laugh so much! It was a real gush and I thought that it must be that but got checked to confirm. I thought, right this it it, time to get my son here. Knowing the gender really helped me here because I used his name and things the whole way through, but I know lots of people like the surprise too!

The rest is a bit of a blur in terms of timing as I wasn't really looking at clocks. I tried to sleep a bit more and I think drifted in and out of sleep. Contractions started and I needed up breathing when it was about 6/7am. I had a canular fitted as they were still going to need regular bloods and I actually used up breathing for this too to keep still and clam. It worked a treat and I was absolutely fine, however they then examined me and I was put on the syntocin, so the canular could not be used for bloods as the drip was going in it. I'm not 100%sure why as I don't remember, but I don't think I was dilating as quickly as they wanted me to.

I asked if I could walk around for a bit off the monitors and used up breathing. I sat and bounced on the ball too. The syntocin was being put up and up and my up breathing was usable but I then needed gas and air. I used this unsuccessfully a few times but then it was okay. Thinking back now, I think because I was using the up breathing so well, they didn't really see how strong my contractions were. So good going up breathing 👍!

All of a sudden, there was no stop in my contractions. They were back to back and I wasn't getting a rest at all. There was a shift change in midwife and the new midwife and a paramedic, who was on rotation, checked the machine and it showed on the monitor how strong and constant my contractions were. They straight away said they needed to turn it down and offered me an epidural. I said no because I still had that fear of needles and I felt I was able to do continue using gas and air with up breathing. Unfortunately, turning the drip down didn't make much difference as I think it was well and truly in my system. My husband at this point had gone from stroking my back to getting the knots out of my hair haha. I was so focused on breathing I couldn't say to him to stop. After, he explained he knows I hate my hair being knotty so he thought it would make me feel better! Sweet thought but not at all what I needed or cared about at the time 😂.

My legs were shaking so I got onto the bed. I was sick and they asked if I needed an epidural. I said no (fear of needles getting the better of me here again) and then it was too late anyway. I think I was sick because of transition but had put it down to the gas and air. I accepted some pethidine but I'm not sure how it helped in terms of pain but I did feel more relaxed.

My body started pushing but I was under 10cm. It wasn't controllable though and my body just said time to push and started doing it. The midwife at the time said to try and hold on from pushing but it was to hard not to. My body was literally doing it. My husband was fantastic, encouraging me the whole time, putting cold flannels on my chest and things.

They had to get in another senior midwife who happened to be a parent of a child in my class (this is what happens if you give birth in the hospital just down the road from the school it seems). She had been fab through my pregnancy and asked if I minded her being there. I absolutely did not because it felt so nice to have a familiar friendly face coaching me. She explained that I now needed to get him out with some big pushes. 21 minutes of pushing later out came my little boy at 1:21pm!

He was placed on my chest and I had the injection for the placenta as I had decided prior to birth. This is due to complications that could have occurred in a natural delivery due to medical history. It was so nice to be done and I think I'll have it again should we have more children.

Unfortunately, our little boy wasn't doing so well on his own and had to be taken to the side of the room to be worked on. My husband got to quickly cut the cord and then they did their magic and I heard our son for the first time. I'm so glad my husband is a calm person and the paramedic just kept talking to me. George had to go and have a tube fitted, but I had my stitches done for the tearing while he was gone and my husband went too. I had a bit of gas and air and then they numbed the area. I didn't feel the injection or the stitches at all. Once he was back and the tube was out I could feed him and have skin on skin ❤️

I went to have a shower after stitching and I unfortunately bled and collapsed. It was due to blood pressure still being very high and lack of iron. I had a catheter fitted (didn't feel this) and was started on iron tablets along with blood pressure tablets. While the paramedic was holding me up, she was keeping me talking and said this birth was the first she'd ever witnessed and how amazing it was. This was so lovely to hear, especially as I was a bit panicky about what was happening. I got helped back to bed and had some food and a bed bath because I couldn't have a shower. I'm so glad I put body wipes in my bag too!

Because I was still showing high blood pressure we had to stay in hospital for 5 days. Each time I was due to go home it would go back up again and I had to show my bladder was working properly after an unfortunate accident after the cathater was removed which was pretty much like a rebreaking of my waters 💦🙈.

I’m so thankful that I had my husband there because I couldn't get out of bed to get our son and so he did so much while we were there.

Unfortunately, one midwife made me very cross when she came to give me some medication and assumed he was doing nothing because he was messaging family updates. She said 'maybe you would like to get up and do something for the mum?' I honestly couldn't believe it and felt so very cross because he had been amazing. I'm annoyed at myself for not saying anything.

Once George's heel prick tests were okay and my blood pressure had gone down enough, we could go home and start family life together!

My labour may not have been what I had in mind, but it showed me how strong I can be and how I can face my fears and we have our gorgeous George as a result and all the joy he brings! I would do it all a million times over for that.

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I just want to add to my story something that I think is really important. I breast fed so well in hospital. It was pain free, the latch was fine and it was all plain sailing. A midwife upon leaving said how glad she was I was doing it and gave me some horror stats of things that can happen if I wasn't. At home, it carried on okay for another week or so and then it changed. My baby cluster fed constantly, had bad reflux which meant he never was full enough, his latch became poor and he would just clamp and pull all the time. I ended up bleeding, sore and deflated after being up through the night every night and doing the same in the morning. All I could think was 'this is what mums do, why am I struggling so much?' Covid was well and truly here now and so I couldn't get any face to face advice and spent hours on the phone to specialist trying to work out what to do and where 'I' was going wrong. It became absolutely all consuming and I was getting so low because nothing was working and I felt like it was all my fault. I felt like a rubbish mum. My husband asked me to consider formula feeding but I threw back at him the stats the midwife gave me and so I carried on expressing and trying to feed.

I had to take antibiotics twice as well as blood pressure and iron tablets (all tablets 3 x a day and at one point 16 tablets a day which was a challenge and a half to remember!). Due to being allergic to penicillin, one set of these antibiotics couldn't be ingested by baby so he could not have my milk. One breastfeeding specialist and even a doctor said to just risk it! The pharmacist couldn't believe they had said that and actually said she was going to call the surgery. I even thought about not taking them just so he could still feed because I was so scared after this pep talk from a midwife and the doctor saying in a pandemic I wouldn't be able to get formula milk. After getting up every hour or so through the night to express and tip away the milk I hit a real low. Then I realised how much better our little man was because he was getting full feeds on the formula. He was so content where he hadn't be before and I started enjoying the days so much more too. We made the decision to make the switch and it has been the best thing for both of us. I started to really enjoy feeding him and the time in the day just felt nicer because it wasn't looming over me anymore. I completely understand the benefits of breast milk and if/when baby no2 happens I will absolutely try with breast again. However, I do feel that there is such a huge amount of pressure on mums to breast feed, even when it is hindering their physical and mental recovery and I won't put that on myself again or anyone else. I understand people have strong views on feeding (a complete stranger told me I wasn't doing my best as a mum because I was formula feeding and deep down I should know that), but think we all need to, and have the right to, feel supported in doing whatever is best for our baby and ourselves. We are encouraged to do it in pregnancy and labour so it should extend to after this too. My son is absolutely thriving and such a joy to us and the whole family.
💙💙