Birth story - Farhana and baby girl

❌Trigger warnings - Very Long on off latent Labour, Induction, Fetal distress, Unplanned Emergency Section, emotional challenges due to Covid and long latent labour, use of word contraction.

Just a note of caution - my story is positive for me however there were some challenging moments. I will focus on the positives and only post the challenging bits that I think are helpful/relevant for people to take away but feel free to skip if needed. I am separating the post into sections so read the bits you wish.

This is a long one.

So firstly I am a medic and therefore have witnessed many of the negative things that can occur surrounding birth so I was keen to avoid this. I am very petite in height and feared this would put me at a disadvantage. Discovering the Positive Birth Company was one of the best things I did during pregnancy and helped me focus on having a positive birth and feeling like I was empowered and in control. Despite my delivery not going to plan I actually feel it was positive as I feel like I did everything I could to deliver my baby in the way I wanted and although it was not successful I felt like I had been empowered through the process. Particularly making it to the midwife led unit was a massive success for me.

Pregnancy

My pregnancy was an easy low risk one. I had symptoms here and there but generally was well and continued to exercise till just over 38 weeks. I walked daily. Covid did impact me emotionally as I am a really social person and did struggle with not being able to see friends and family and being so isolated. For those who are pregnant now - hopefully as the heavy lockdown is not happening and more evidence everyday - this will be an easier experience. I spent the second half of my pregnancy in heavy Covid lockdown conditions and so it did feel like a long time. I discovered the PBC at 32 weeks after recommendations and immediately was drawn in as I really wanted to be able to have a vaginal delivery and see pregnancy delivery positively. Both my partner and I watched the videos, I practised the affirmations and listened to them before bed, I listened and read loads of positive stories, made my playlists, did some of the meditative practices and light touch massage and also got all the bits in my birthing bag to boost the 5 senses.

Long Latent Phase

This started around 37 weeks. The reason I mention this is it was something I wasn't prepared for and I think that made it harder to deal with. Only some people get really long latent phases but I think just knowing it is a normal variant in itself can just allow the positive focus. Initially I think I was having Braxton Hicks but every time they would come I would have periods of hours or full days of contractions, which became more intense each time, they would wake me in the night but would always fizzle out at some point. Sometimes I would have these 4 days in a row and then nothing for a few days. Some midwives told me they were 'JUST' Braxton Hicks but following discussion with a doctor post delivery and a number of other midwives they did say a really long on and off latent phase can occur in some people and they are stronger than Braxton Hicks. So this is more just to let people know this happened to me and if it happens to you just be aware it can go on for some time. There were multiple times I started recording using the Freya app as they were every 3mins for a few hours but thinking they weren't strong enough yet to go to hospital only for them to fizzle out.

Going Past Due Date

Despite listening to the affirmations I couldn't help being disappointed my baby hadn't come by then. However I focussed on the affirmation 'my baby will come when my baby is ready'. I decided to have 2 sweeps once I hit almost 41 weeks as I knew induction was getting more and more likely and was keen for things to happen as naturally as possible. I had been eating lots of pineapple, had sex, walked everyday for up to 2 hours, did lots of relaxation stuff, bounced on ball lots etc.

Induction

2 days before induction (Friday night) - I lot my mucous plug. I was so excited as I thought this might actually be it and maybe I wouldn’t need induction. I started to have mild contractions every 8-10 mins and just tried to focus on relaxation. Things stayed similar and I slept well through the night. In the morning around 11am they started becoming regular ever 3-5mins, lasting 45 seconds to a minute and were the most intense I had so far had. However I was still pretty comfortable and just bounced on my ball and tried to just stay calm as I didn't want to get my hopes too high. By 4pm I thought I should call the midwives - unfortunately the one on the phone was not particularly helpful or positive and did make me feel upset. I tried to not worry and just monitor things. I went for a walk and things ramped up in terms of frequency and I struggled to walk back home as I was having contractions every 5-6 steps - they settled back to every 3-5mins when I got home. I decided to try and hold off calling as I had been disheartened so waited till 11pm and called again as I was still contracting every 3mins. This midwife was very pleasant but as I was able to talk easily on the phone she advised me to stay at home, have a bath, try and sleep and see what happened. The following day I was due for induction but if things were ramping up I might need to come in before. I had a bath....and about 1 -2 hours later things settled down.

The following morning I did struggle emotionally a bit as I had really not wanted induction but I was 41+5 and I knew they would not let you on MLU after 42 weeks so I went in. Initially I had planned an outpatient induction but emotionally after using BRAIN realised the best thing for me at this point was inpatient after having such a long latent period. I had the pessary inserted around 1:30pm (I was 1cm at this point with a soft short but posterior cervix which is how I had been the last 3 weeks). My husband was allowed on the antenatal ward around 2 and we hung out around the hospital grounds and I walked to try and get things going. He left around 6:30 and by then the contractions had started again but mild and every 15minish. I read and chilled out on the ward, used my ball which I had brought with me and chatted to another woman also being induced due to dates. By 9pm they were coming at a rate of 3in 10 lasting for a minute but still manageable and not too strong. By 11pm they had ramped up and I was thinking is this it but was told by the midwife that I would know and I would not be able to talk through them. This occurred around 1am that I could no longer speak through them- however the midwife told me that I wasn't in active labour. I used Freya at this point just to check they were every 3 mins lasting a minute which they were. At 2am I had paracetamol and tried to use my TENS machine but it kept falling off. I couldn't sleep. I had a bit of a meltdown at 5am as they still weren't examining me and they were definitely the strongest I had felt and I asked to go home - but couldn't. At 8am (Monday) the lovely day midwife said I should be examined which was such a relief. I was still only 1cm but they thought that by the time the pessary needed to come out I would be suitable for rupture of membranes. I held on to this after a bit more of a meltdown and got back into a positive vibe again. I had been listening to my affirmations on and off all night and my playlists and bounced on my ball etc. By 2pm (Monday) I was examined and hurrah was suitable for a rupture of membranes - I was so so happy.

I was moved to Labour ward around 4 and soon after had my waters broken using a bit of gas and air to assist. I also had some paracetamol and dihydrocodeine as I had been still having regular contractions at the same intensity since the night before. Following the rupture of membranes, within about half an hour - things really ramped up in terms of the intensity of the surges. By the time my husband arrived - around 5:30 (he had worked in the day and would have only been allowed on the ward from 2) I definitely thought I was in active labour and was needing to sway, or stand still when the contractions came and really focus on my breathing. (I had been using the breathing since the night before but now more than ever really needed to focus on it. 2 hours following the breaking of my waters they examined me and I was 3-4 cm and allowed to go to the Midwife led unit. Honestly I was just so happy at this point.

I realised I was needing gas and air at this point, stripped off as soon as the pool was ready and got in and really found it was helpful. I moved in all different positions, used gas and air on and off, tried to focus on my breathing. My partner set up the room with the tealights and put the playlist on, he chatted to me as did the lovely midwives and they all encouraged me and were supportive. After a while - no idea how long I felt like I needed some sort of pain relief so asked for pethidine but also felt like I needed to poo. The midwives were therefore reluctant to give me pethidine and so we stretched it for a while. As I kept asking they agreed to examine me early to see if it was suitable or not. I was 4cm so they agreed to let me have it.

The next 4 hours are very hazy as the pethidine with the gas and air both which were wonderful alongside the lack of sleep meant I was quite dazed and in and out of it. I remember saying very random things but feeling positive. I had to get out of the pool and spend quite a bit of time on my side as I was so tired and sleepy but it really helped me get through those hours and time flew by. Around 2am (Tuesday morning) I had my next examination - I was 4cm still.

I was told I had to go to labour ward and needed the drip. I was struggling by this point and felt that I couldn't really manage longer with this intensity of contractions so despite the fact I had desperately not wanted an epidural in my hazy state I realised this was best for me. The anaesthetis was amazing and put it in quickly and honestly at this point I loved the epidural. Shortly after they noticed baby's baseline heart rate had risen and were struggling to get a good trace. Following fluids, a doctors review, being put on my side it picked up and so the drip was started. Unfortunately within 10-15mins it had to be stopped as baby's HR was dropping with each contraction. I was reviewed by the doctors again and examined again and still 4cm. Following discussion, review by the most senior doctor, my husband and I using BRAIN agreed to the recommended C-section as it was felt that baby would struggle if we restarted the drip.

The C-section

It was a quick turn around to theatre. I requested delayed cord clamping and skin to skin. I was quite in and out during the procedure due to the drugs. My epidural was topped up for theatre and I did not need a spinal. I remember them saying she is crying already and hearing her cry for the first time and they lifted her above the curtains. My husband was by my side, our playlist playing. Delayed cord clamping was done. She was then taken to be examined due to the heart rate issues and my husband went over to watch. They then brought her back to me for skin to skin and I remember seeing her and saying she was just so beautiful. My arms were weak and I couldn't hold or support her on my chest and there wasn't much space so very quickly after my husband was given her to do skin to skin as she didn't feel safe on me. The theatre team were great, she was healthy and I was so in love. She was born at 06:12am on the Tuesday morning.

We got taken to recovery and there I was able to properly hold her, she fed in recovery and just knew how to do it - it was amazing to see. We were both so elated. My husband got to stay for about an hour until I was moved to the postnatal ward.

4 weeks on and she is the best things in our lives. I don't feel like a failure at all, in fact I feel like I did amazing even though I ended up with the emergency c-section. I did have a post op infection which was a challenge but am fully recovered. She is healthy, growing and doing well. The PBC really helped me see delivery in a positive way and helped me feel empowered about my experience. I hope to deliver vaginally next time and will use the PBC again. Even if it is not successful and I need another section I am totally okay with it but I will again try all the things to deliver naturally if I feel it is safe and suitable. Thank you to the PBC for helping this doctor see birthing as a positive experience and helping me feel empowered!