Birth story - Emma and baby James

⚠️ Mentions contractions and transfer to hospital for stitches and snapped cord.

I absolutely loved reading everyones stories on here and if my own is able to help / inspire even one other expectant mum then it’s worth the share. I’m sorry / not sorry it’s a long one 😂

Pregnancy
We got married in November 2019 and immediately started trying to get pregnant. We’d only been married 5 weeks when I did the test and saw the two little lines! We were both over the moon although the thought of giving birth filled me with fear.

I had a completely straightforward pregnancy with nausea at the beginning and heartburn and PGP at the end but not a lot else in the middle!

I was told at my booking appointment that due to my raised bmi I would not be able to give birth anywhere other than in hospital and would receive consultant led care. I had no health problems and no family history of pregnancy related issues but I was none the wiser to challenge this recommendation.

I was then told about hypnobirthing by a woman at work who had done a full course before she had her son last year and I now fully understand the recommendation! I did the digital pack and found the science parts the most interesting and they did wonders to alleviate my concerns and fears over giving birth. I also found the section on language used by health care professionals to be quite informative and this led me to consider other birth options than the consultant led hospital I had been told I needed.

I asked about the options for MLU but that was closed due to Covid. I then asked about a home birth - I was told this would not be supported and if I went ahead with it then it would be against medical advice.

I attended all of the growth scans that had been recommended to ensure baby was not too big and not too small 🙄 but found that every consultant appointment that was booked for me was “cancelled due to Covid”. Which is interesting if they’re so necessary 😂

Got to 36 weeks and was signed off of consultant led care (without ever having seen one!) and released to the midwives who agreed “against medical advice” to support my home birth.

Labour
Throughout the final few weeks of my pregnancy I had a list of things I needed to finish “before baby arrived” and by Friday 4th September, I had ticked all my boxes:

On official maternity leave ✅
Past 1st September (wanted an oldest in year) ✅
Completed hypnobirthing course ✅
Had my lockdown hair fixed at the hairdressers ✅

I had been having Braxton Hicks on and off for 4 days by the time my hair appointment came around but they were not painful and without waters breaking or a show, I knew there was nothing happening really. Looking back these were likely signs of early labour.

I got home from the hairdressers and was still getting Braxton Hicks. I was practicing breathing through them etc. My husband went out to meet a friend and I said to him I’d been having some stronger feelings in my stomach (not pains but something that wasn’t usual for me) and to keep his phone on loud just in case. At 5:55 I went to the loo and had my show. This continued to come for the next 2-3 loo trips. I called my husband to let him know he needed to come home soon (but not to rush as first time labour can be days!) I was excited and called the hospital to make sure they knew I was going to need them and to alert the home birth midwives. Before the on call midwife could call me back to get the details of our address and see where we were in terms of progress (within 20 minutes), my contractions had started and were fairly consistent (30-40 seconds long and around 8 minutes apart).

She said to call back when they were coming 3 in 10 (as per Freya) and she’d get the other midwife and come over. She said it would likely be a few hours before I needed her. This was at 6:20.

At 8pm I called the midwives back as Freya had said for 30 minutes I was in established labour and I didn’t want to call them too soon - they said they’d be there in about an hour.

At this point, my husband started to set up and fill the pool as we hadn’t actually tested it and we didn’t know how quickly it would fill.

I was up and down the stairs every few minutes for the toilet and every time I sat on the loo I’d get another contraction. If you’re having a home birth in a pool, consider how far away the loo is! Do it on the same level if you have the means to do so. The stairs were exhausting 😂

By 9:30 the midwives still weren’t there and I was really feeling the pressure. I asked my husband to call them to find out where they were because I was struggling and wanted gas and air and to get in the pool but knew they’d want to check me first. My birth preferences were for minimal VE’s but I wanted to know how things were progressing. They were 5 minutes away.

When they arrived I did a wee sample, they checked my blood pressure and checked how dilated I was. No protein in wee, slightly raised BP and I was 4cm (active!).

They were concerned with my BP and made me wait ten more minutes to check it again before I was able to get in the pool. It was the same, slightly raised and borderline “high”.

I asked if I could get in the pool as I knew the pressure would be eased and it might help lower my BP. They agreed but only if I’d get out if we needed to transfer.

I got in the pool at around 10:20 and the pressure instantly made the contractions more manageable. I was breathing through them and feeling my baby move down. I knew he wasn’t going to keep us waiting.

The midwife took my blood pressure again and said she wasn’t happy and needed to call the hospital to find out what they wanted them to do. This was protocol but it felt very much like they didn’t want to be supporting my home birth. My hubby stepped in and started to coach me with my breathing and encouraging me to ignore the negativity in the room. Three contractions later, when she was still on hold to the hospital, my waters went in the pool. They were clear.

The midwives knew it was close. I was ready to push.

Less than 20 minutes of pushing and baby James was born into the pool. He came out with his hand first (superman style!). I couldn’t believe that we had done it. Against all the odds and against medical recommendations in under 6 hours with just gas and air! I lost an estimated 300ml (I think) of blood which was minimal considering “people with raised bmi have a higher risk of PPH” - evidence please!

Whilst having skin to skin with James, the midwife was checking his skin colouring, fingers, toes etc and then we noticed the cord had actually snapped in the pool without being clipped. She took him to check him over more thoroughly.

I naturally delivered the placenta into the pool as they didn’t want to give the injection due to my raised BP. This was checked and was totally fine.

Upon checking me over out of the pool, the midwife recommended a transfer to hospital due to a severe tear - she wasn’t sure if it was 3rd degree. They also wanted James checking over due to the cord issue.

They offered my husband the option of joining us on the delivery ward for my stitches etc but I was happy to attend alone / with James as I had done the important bit of the labour and delivery with my husband by my side. I also felt invincible at this point.

Transfer to hospital
We were taken by ambulance to hospital and I was checked over once there. They said it was a severe second degree / borderline third degree tear but because I was against having an epidural the doctor agreed to do it in the room with me on gas and air and a local anaesthetic. This was painful but 100% an informed choice of mine that was supported by the doctor as I wanted to get back home as quickly as possible.

James was checked over by the neonatal team and was signed off as being totally fine.

I managed to have magical tea and toast by 3am and spent most of the night watching my baby sleep 🤗 In complete awe that I had managed to deliver him at home!

We went home that evening 🤗

Reflections
I’m so grateful for this group and the hypnobirthing course that truly inspired my approach to my birth and enabled us to have a fantastic experience at home even as first time parents. I was told there’s no point in having a birth plan as they never go to plan - which may be true - but preferences are what is important. Things you will or won’t agree to, things you’d like to happen and in what order of preference etc.
Remember - your body is made to do this. It’s your body, your birth, your baby - do what is right for you!

I’d also say - for anyone who is planning a home birth - prepare your partner for the level of mess. The midwives came to the hospital with me when I was transferred and my poor husband was left at home to clean and tidy everything up which I don’t think he was mentally prepared for. It’s taken him several days to come to terms with the life changing event of becoming a dad which was overshadowed by the blood etc from the birth.

Best of luck to those of you yet to have your babies - it really is the most amazing experience 🤗 xx