Birth story - Thea and baby Atticus

🚨Triggers: 2nd Degree Tears, Pushy Doctors and lack of support from SOME Medical Staff.
I have added all of this to the end rather than throughout. Please feel free to skip if you like!
I have only included this information, as I know I would have found it useful leading up to my Birth, and hope others in the same situation will too!🥰

Hello to all Mummies and Mummies-to-be!! 🤗
I'd like to start by saying a HUGE Thank You to the PBC. Myself and my Husband will be forever grateful that we found you! (Thank you so much Bethanie for the recommendation💜) Our birth was almost exactly what we had imagined, and I feel we owe a lot of that to the invaluable information we learnt on the course.
So, as Everyone says - Hang in there! It's a LONG one!
It really is...😅...

My pregnancy was straight forward, and other than feeling very achy at times, I really enjoyed it!
I was still teaching dance, going for long walks, and practicing yoga towards the very end.
I have always believed wholeheartedly in the power of the mind, so I was excited for the experience of labour, and determined to do it with no pain relief. I managed to do this, and although it was intense, I felt incredibly empowered and fully in control throughout.

I started taking Raspberry Leaf Tea capsules and eating 6 dates a day from 36 weeks. I hate dates
🤢🤣 I did Perennial Massage from around 34 weeks every other day. I had relaxing baths with Lavender oil regularly, whilst listening to the FREYA tracks. I also started playing the app at bedtime too. I deleted Facebook and any news apps to avoid Covid messing with my head. Every time we learnt of changes in rules due to Covid, we accepted it and carried on being positive and excited. Nothing we could do about it at the end of the day!!

I was convinced my boy would arrive the second I hit 37 weeks 🤣 I was TOO excited!!! I got obsessed with trying all of the remedies, but made sure I was still realistic, knowing that he would simply choose his own Birthday and that would be that! Once 40 weeks came, I got even more excited, taking on the 'Due From' mentality.

On the evening of 40+5, instead of watching our fave shows and snuggling, we gamed on the PS4 for a bit instead whilst I bounced on Pablo (my ball 😅) The surges started pretty much straight away!! I think it's because I was so focused on something I enjoyed, with no opportunity for the mind to wander onto WHEN WILL THIS BLOOMIN' BABY MAKE HIS APPEARANCE!!!!???? 😂

I told my Husband Jonny I'd been feeling mild surges for the last half an hour, and to carry on playing as I thought it was helping. After an hour or two, we went to bed, but I knew I wouldn't manage any sleep. After 10 mins of trying, I just decided to run a lovely relaxing bath, knowing that this was it!! I used FREYA, and started practicing breathing through the surges, even though they were still mild. Once I stopped feeling comfy, I went downstairs and made some toast. I spent a few hours pottering around the house and putting finishing touches to my Hospital bag, stopping in between to breathe through surges.

I woke John at around 4am, and he suggested we go for a short practice drive to see howIi felt being in the car. It was bearable, and was wonderful watching the sun rise as we rode around, knowing we would meet our little boy soon!!!!! 🌅💙 I laboured a little longer at home before we called the MLU. They suggested we stay at home longer until I felt the surges were more intense. I felt that they were already to be honest, but was happy to try wait a little longer. We soon set off, and I had 5 surges on the 15 minute drive there.

I was examined, and told I was 1-2cm. I couldn't believe it! My surges had been close together for a few hours! However, I didn't get disheartened, and instead of going home, we walked around the grounds and took Pablo so I could bounce every now and then. I went in after an hour, and was still only a 'Stretchy 2'. We decided to go home.

I ran another bath, but couldn't get comfy. I didn't really have a break at all. The surges were coming every minute, and felt intense!

We called them and went in again. 3cm... Aaarrrggghh!! So frustrating!! They gave me the option of staying and getting in the pool, as they imagined I'd reach 4cm by the time I got back home. My Husband was to stay outside until I was 'established'. We agreed to this, and I stripped off and got in the pool. It was wonderful!

From here onwards, I have no concept of time, as I literally zoned in to the breathing for the rest of the entire labour. Jonny arrived soon (although I never actually had a VE to check whether I was established. I think they just let him in anyway!) and he sat holding my hands and talked me into 'Green'! I do feel it is so so important that you have a supportive Birth Partner that understands Hypnobirthing if possible.
He was absolutely incredible, and threw himself into it throughout the whole pregnancy (once I had explained that he had a massive job to do! Haha)

I have added a pic of some notes we did for him for the day. He carried this with him, as well as our Birth Preferences, and found them very useful. We didn't use most of the tools in the end!

All I felt I needed were words of encouragement, and pressure on my lower back at certain times.

At some point, I accepted for my waters to be broken, as I had been labouring for a while, and was told this would speed things up. A change of shift here meant that we had the amazing Nicola as our midwife for the rest of the labour. She was incredible throughout!!!

After hours of using the pool, and intermittently getting out to try more active positions, I started to feel the need to poo. I went to the loo, but there was no poo to be had... (not until later when I did loads of it in the pool. Sorry Nicola...💩😂) I had reached the Downstage! Yay! I remember feeling so excited knowing I was at this point, but still hypnotically staying in the zone. I got back in the pool and started Down breathing.

Nicola offered me a VE to see if I was pushing too early. I refused this, and carried on for another hour. The Down breathing didn't seem to work for me. She suggested I push as though I was going for a poo, and this felt more progressive. I accepted a VE after an hour of this, as I was worried I'd do damage if I was pushing when my body wasn't ready. I was 9cm with a tiny bit of cervix that wasn't budging! She told me to try breathe through for an hour rather than pushing, to get rid of that last little bit. This felt impossible, as my body wanted to push!!!

In the end, I accepted for her to insert her fingers, and pull this cervical lip over his head during the next surge. I was now 10cm. I pushed for longer in the pool, but felt I needed to be in a different position.
I used a birthing stool for another hour with my Husband behind me supporting my weight. Still no baby! His heart rate was monitored more regularly at this point, and was fine all the way through, despite the extremely lengthy, exhausting pushing stage! It was a real workout! He was just so comfy where he was 🤗 And so close...Nicola could see his head for about an hour! She showed us with a mirror. So much hair! It was truly incredible.

Finally, I was helped onto all fours, and on the next surge, I pushed his head out. The ring of fire is REAL! Haha But I weirdly enjoyed the sensation, as I felt such relief knowing he had FINALLY bothered to show up 😂 Another 10 seconds or so, and I birthed the rest of his body with the next surge. This was the most phenomenal feeling. I remember having the image of a sheep or cow giving birth coming into my head. The way they look to slide out all floppy. I really did feel truly primal. It was amazing. Although it was obviously painful, I'm actually looking forward to experiencing this again!!

The midwives passed our little Atti through my legs and I lifted him straight onto my chest. Wow. I am so so excited for those of you that are yet to do this. It's F#$%ING AWESOME!!!

We had skin to skin in bed, and I birthed the placenta within around 10 minutes. We carried on with skin to skin, and he had an hour of it with Dad next to me whilst I was stitched back together 😂 This was funny, as we had 3 different midwives trying to figure out how to do this before bringing in the Doctor, as I had torn in awkward places apparently 🙈 I also had a catheter inserted, as I had torn very close to my urethra.
Also funny that they offered me gas and air multiple times before going ahead, even though I had turned down all pain relief offered throughout the actual labour 😂 I just said, 'I've done 28 hours using the magical Up-breathing. I'll carry on doing the same for this last bit'. I then proceeded to squeeze Jonny's hand very tightly 🤣

After this, Jonny had his last Atti cuddles, and left for home. They had noticed slight amounts of meconium, so I was to stay in overnight. (It was already 3am anyway)

I had a shower, and the famous tea and toast, along with every snack I had packed and not eaten throughout 🤤😂 The only thing I had kept consistent with was water and Lucozade Sport. They really helped to kick me back into gear when I was feeling too tired. Would defo recommend! 👍

Our son is 5 weeks old on Thursday, and we are absolutely loving our new life. It feels as though this is everything we've both been working towards since WE were born! Like we were destined to start this Family. We couldn't be happier. It's Wonderful. 💜💙

Thank You for reading my ridiculously long Birth Story!
Good Luck to you Mummies-to-be. Enjoy it!! 🥰🤗

🚨 EXTRA INFO THAT COULD BE PERCEIVED AS NEGATIVE, BUT I FEEL COULD BE VALUABLE🚨...

GROWTH SCANS:
I have Inflammatory Bowel Disease (although I was actually discharged a year before conception.) Due to the IBD, I was scheduled to have a growth scan. This was cancelled by the Hospital a few days before, as they concluded that it wasn't necessary. I then received a letter a few days after the original appointment, informing me that I had missed it! 🤔

In the end, I attended, as I wanted to see my boy again!

After noticing he was measuring at the 97th Centile - an 'Expected big baby', the Doctor started throwing all kinds of medical jargon and scaremongering tactics my way... I informed him that I wished to go ahead with as little intervention as possible, and that I was confident sticking to my plan of a vaginal delivery with no pain relief. After strongly suggesting I at least book in for a sweep at 37 weeks, look at early induction, or even a planned C-section, I politely declined, and relayed the NICE Guidelines on 'Big Babies' back to him.
I did however accept a test for GD just in case, which was easy and not unpleasant, and came back negative.

I attended a follow-up Growth scan 4 weeks later, and he was still 'large'. More pushing from Doctors, and more refusals from me! 😂

A third scan was scheduled, so that I could, 'make a decision from there'. I already knew my decision would remain the same. In the end, I decided not to attend. My midwife fully supported this, as we both believed that remaining relaxed at home would benefit baby more than venturing out to the Hospital yet again. No matter what size that scan predicted him to be, I was still planning to go ahead with a spontaneous labour and vaginal delivery, so I felt it was a pointless waste of everyone's time, and NHS resources! My midwife also informed me that a history of IBD shouldn't be cause alone for a growth scan anyway, so all of this had been completely unnecessary!

I'm really not sure what got misconstrued and where, but I'm still glad it all happened as it did, because it encouraged me to do more research, therefore learning even more about Pregnancy and Birth. I heard and read so many stories about women feeling incredibly anxious and stressed throughout pregnancy that they would have this 'giant' baby, to birth an average-sized one naturally! It aggravates me knowing that so many women are made to feel like this. I'm thinking about writing to the Hospital to explain that the language and tone they often use is causing upset and unnecessary stress. Not sure it will achieve anything though!...

LABOUR:
My Birth Preferences stated that I wished for as little intervention as possible. My husband spoke to a number of staff members outside of the room about various issues. Not one of them had read my preferences, and therefore didn't understand why my husband wouldn't let them in! (I also stated that I wanted all communication to go through him)

A Doctor wanted to speak to me about the risks of labouring with IBD...wasn't it already a bit late for that!!??

A midwife did a Covid swab on me whilst naked and labouring in the pool...not very nice at all...

I was also told I needed a blood test for my iron count...I refused this.

To be honest, it felt as though due to me having no pain relief, they needed to show a duty of care SOMEWHERE, and were almost making up reasons to do this! I had to say No quite often, and before Nicola started her shift, we didn't feel much support for hypnobirthing, and I was offered Pain Relief a number of times (something else I stated I didn't want!)

The main thing I took away from these issues is that instinct is so so powerful. If you know that something doesn't feel right or necessary - it probably isn't! I would advise others to ensure that all staff present read their Preferences thoroughly, and... DON'T BACK DOWN!

If you feel pressured to do something, use B.R.A.I.N, and go forward confidently with your decision.
👊💜🧡❤💙💚💛❤