Birth story - Emma and baby Indie

*Trigger warning* - mental health, use of word contraction, baby in distress.

Originally wasn't going to post as I struggled with baby blues initially and wasn't sure it was positive but now I feel confident that although it wasn't at all to plan it was what was needed for my beautiful baby to be born safely.

I've always wanted children but never really liked the idea of being pregnant and with a history of poor mental health I worried about the pregnancy hormones impact and losing control of my body. We've always discussed having one of our own naturally to go on that journey together and then adopt if we wanted any more so last year we decided it was the right time and started trying and a number of people recommended hypnobirthing to help me feel in control.

Thankfully it was a really easy pregnancy, no sickness and baby seemed to improve my mental health (and my asthma weirdly) I struggled a bit mentally in 3rd trimester with body confidence being so big and gaining some stretch marks.

Due day came and went which I fully expected, I declined a sweep and told the midwife I didn’t want to be induced. She advised she would have to hand me over to consultants on day 11 if baby still hadn't arrived and I didn't want an induction so we booked in to have that chat on day 10. Annoyingly I found out I had StrepB so if my waters went I would have to go to hospital for antibiotics rather than labour at home. My sister and I packed snacks and fairy lights, smelling oils and games to make it a positive experience. I woke up at 5am to go the toilet on day 10 (8th june) gutted that still nothing had happened overnight and questioning my decision not to be induced having done research on the risks. I went back to bed and at 6:30am rolled over and my waters went.

I wasn't having any contractions so my husband, sister and I, took our time having breakfast and arrived at the hospital at 8:30am for antibiotics. We were told, due to short staff, the midwife unit was shut so my water birth plans were a no go, I would have to be on labour ward. I was disappointed but just wanted to meet my baby at this point.

We sat in the waiting area until 10am, I was questioning if I had been wrong about my waters as they seemed to have stopped and then I was called through, stood up and flooded the waiting room! I had the antibiotics and was told baby was moving and heartbeat was normal and I was 2cm (getting medium period cramps at this point). Due to the midwife unit being closed they were short on ward beds so told me to hang around the hospital, get some lunch and come back in a few hours (it was around 1pm). I couldn't leave unless I had my canula removed but would need more antibiotics at 5pm and was hopeful of getting a room sooner.

We went back to the waiting room around 2:30 but no room was available yet, the contractions were manageable and it was my waters that were more annoying, having flooded the floor once I kept going the loo. At 5pm we finally got a room on the ward for my next antibiotics, we put the fairy lights up and got the snacks out. I was still only 2cm so they recommended oxytocin to speed it up due to the strepB and my waters having gone over 10hours ago. I had wanted to avoid oxytocin but since I was already in the hospital for the full labour I decided to go with it.

I happily laboured on the birthing ball for a few hours, got the TENs machine out about 7pm as it was getting a bit stronger, the freya app told me it would have been time to go the hospital (if we weren't already) so I figured I must be about 4cm and awarded myself a percy pig after every contraction. I went the loo and found meconium on the tissue but they didn't seem too worried given I was already being induced. The midwife then asked me to get on the bed and lie on my side as baby's heart rate seemed to have dropped but it might have been that my loo trip had moved the monitors. Lying on my side on the bed was much worse (remembering the course I asked for them to tell me as soon as I could get back up to help oxygen) but every contraction baby's heart rate dipped and they were struggling to monitor her so they wanted me to stay on the bed. I started to lose it a bit but my husband, sister and the Freya app kept me focussed on my breathing. I had a paracetamol and some anti nausea medicine.

At 9pm they checked me again and the midwife asked if we wanted to guess, she said based on the monitors her guess was 7cm, I rallied thinking ok I can totally do this... I was still only 2cm. She thought there might be some membrane from my waters blocking baby's progress since I was contracting fine but not dilating. For them to check they needed me to lie down fully and again the contractions seemed to ramp up and baby's heartrate dipped quite a bit. They asked if they could put a coil on baby to help them monitor her as the external monitor kept loosing the readings so I agreed as I wanted to know she was safe. At this point I took gas and air as lying down was painful. They called a doctor in to do the coil as it kept coming off and while they were doing it they lost baby's heartbeat for what felt like ages (probably seconds), when they picked it back up it had dropped from 130bpm to 40bpm. The doctor pulled the emergency cord to get more assistance and told me she recommended an emergency csection as they wanted baby out now. I agreed and asked if a natural csection was possible but she said they needed to put me under general anaesthetic and get baby out quick and my husband wouldn’t be able to come (the student midwife held my hand and told me she wouldn’t leave my side).

When we got to the theatre the heartrate had picked back up and the midwife asked if I could have it by spinal block instead while the amazing student midwife ran to get my husband so he could come in. The surgeon held my hand during the spinal block and told me to squeeze as hard as I needed and that we would do this together. As soon as we heard baby cry me and my husband burst into tears. Indie was born at 1:58am on 9th June (11days after due date), completely healthy albeit smaller than expected at 6lb3. The surgeon said it looked like my placenta had been coming away so it had been a good job baby had told us she was unhappy. We enjoyed time in the recovery room until 4am, when I was moved to the ward and my husband and sister had to leave for the night.

Although it doesn't sound positive if I had got my hands off water birth on the midwife unit as planned babies struggles may not have been picked up. I had always been terrified of surgery so a c-section had been worst case scenario on my birth plan but all I really remember is the kindness of the surgeon and the student midwife holding my hands and feeling comfortably warm and numb afterward with my baby in my arms.

I did email the hospital PALs team after a few weeks to have a debrief at the hospital about what had happened which I found helpful as it all happened so quick in the end and both myself and my husband got baby blues after the labour. I recommend that service if anyone wants to talk through their labour afterwards with the doctor to help understand.