Birth story - Jaskinder and baby Daleyr

Just before I start my birth story, I really want to highlight something I feel is very important. It is the positive affirmation, ‘my baby is the right size for my body’. I can’t tell you all how much throughout my pregnancy I had to hear that my baby was going to be tiny, or ‘she doesn’t even look pregnant’ (even though I felt fat lol). One person actually looked straight at me and said, ‘do you even eat? Your baby is going to be under 5lb’s I reckon.’ (Not that there is anything wrong with a baby that weight). Some might take it as a compliment, but it got me down a lot and I started thinking I was doing something wrong or wasn’t eating enough. People didn’t necessarily say it out of spite, it was just their observations, but this would get me really upset. But NO, it’s important to remind ourselves that our bodies are perfect baby making machines. We should be able to feel confident and happy with whatever size, small or big we are during pregnancy. So don’t let anyone get you down over size!

I had a pretty straightforward pregnancy. I was always quite active throughout. I had heard of Hypnobirthing through a friend, but I was in two minds about it. I came across the PBC digital pack when it was on sale, I thought I didn’t have anything to loose so went for it. Wow, just wow, I loved the science videos. I had began to feel nervous about labour so it was a huge confidence boost. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at around 26 weeks, it was borderline so I just had to keep a control of my diet and check my blood sugars every so often. However due to this, I was told it was likely that I was going to have to get induced. I really didn’t want this as I wanted a water birth and knew both didn’t really go well together. At my midwife app’s I used BRAIN to make it clear I was happy to wait till I go past my due date as my blood sugar results were absolutely fine and in control.

On Thursday 9th May I spent the day relaxing, I had some really spicy stir fry noodles (just because I like spicy food, wasn’t trying to start labour). My husband also gave me a little spa experience and relaxing massages. This definitely created some oxytocin. At around 9:30 I started getting small period cramps. I hadn’t really had Braxton Hicks before so didn’t know what the contractions would feel like, but these were coming every 5 minutes. We tried to lay down and go to bed but were just too excited to sleep. I started using the app to breath through them. I called the midwife at around 12am who said to wait until they were 2/3 minutes apart and lasting around a minute. I couldn’t sit in bed any longer and got up around 3ish and decided to have a shower. I was still unsure this was it, as I hadn’t had any bloody show or any waters breaking. However I was having to use the bathroom ALOT. At 6am, the surges became more and more powerful so me and my husband headed to the hospital.

I really wanted to just know where I was at, and to my surprise I was 4cm dilated! I burst out crying when the midwife told me. It just felt so real at this point. So I laboured around the assessment area as they took some time getting me a room. Every time a surge would come I would throw myself over my husband or lean over the bed and then sit when they weren’t happening.

We finally got to our labour room at around 8am. Our midwife was amazing. We explained about hypnobirthing and she really just left us to it. I had to have the monitor around my belly because of the whole diabetes thing, but it wasn’t that much of a hassle. My husband sprayed our room spray (highly recommend the one from Neal’s Yard) and played our special meditation music. I tried a bit of gas and air but didn’t really like it. I think the thought that was getting me through was, how did the women hundreds of years ago get through it? If they can do it, so can I! I carried on through the surges. They were very powerful at this point, and I soon discovered it was more and more powerful when I wasn’t breathing through them properly. I was getting through the ones when I was using the up breathing just fine. At around 10:15, I really wanted to see how much I had progressed, I remember thinking to myself if I was still at around 4, I would definitely need some pain relief. I was checked and was 7cm! This is when things really changed. I had my bloody show, and I really felt like I couldn’t do this any longer. My husband was truly my rock throughout, he kept up the positive vibes and was by my side the whole time, kept reminding me that I could do it.

At around 11:30, I felt the serious need to push. I couldn’t describe that feeling, but when I read previously that your body just takes over, well it really truly does. Thinking back now, it was incredible. I was on the bed on all fours, leaning over the back rest just letting my body do what it was doing. I had no interruption from my midwife, she just let me carry on, in fact I didn’t even notice her being there! In between the surges I was having little sips of water which I think kept my energy going. Around 40 minutes later, my waters broke. I noticed after every push, I would sort of close back up, and that caused her to also move back up. I was scared that I would need some sort of assistance so with the next contraction I literally roared my baby out. The head came out and her whole body followed.

Hearing the cry was so surreal and I just remember thinking I did it! My husband told me it was a girl and we just fell head over heels in love. We had delayed cord clamping and then I delivered the placenta naturally. We even managed to have a quick sikh baptism ceremony which is done at birth. Our midwife was incredibly supportive and gave us our privacy. My favourite part was feeling each of her body parts coming out, it was out of this world and I never want to forget that feeling. I was convinced I had broken my entire vagina LOL but I somehow only had a 1st degree tear which required some stitches. She took a bit of time latching but got there eventually.

I really recommend getting help from the midwives about breastfeeding, I would also get some nipple shields packed in your hospital bag, they’re amazing!! An old secret Indian remedy to prevent major tearing is drinking hot milk with ghee (butter). I drank this every night for a few weeks before giving birth and I seriously think it was down to that, that I didn’t do any serious damage. I’m also still drinking it twice a day with some tumeric powder and I’m healing nicely. Also stick to only having warm foods and drinks, I know it’s difficult because your body temperature can be so high after giving birth, but a week later and I honestly feel great and it’s down to all this aftercare. I only just cracked and had a paracetamol after 10 months because I had a headache lol.

For anyone wondering, her name means the courageous one, and she is also named after a 17th century Sikh female general. She sure is my little soldier. Thank you to The PBC for ensuring I had a positive birth experience and good luck to all the mummies to be. You’re going into the unknown, so fear is expected and its okay. Just remain positive and you will sail through it. X