Birth story - Daniella and baby Ruben

Warning ⚠️ Triggers: change of plan, foetal distress, COVID restrictions, episiotomy, ventouse delivery.

At 40 weeks (Wed 9/12) my belly measured small. The NHS said they wouldn’t support a home birth unless a scan confirmed all was ok. I’m like “there are some serious yoga and Pilates abs holding this belly in” The scan was booked for the afternoon of the next day .... however baby had other plans...

That night I couldn’t sleep. Baby was super wriggly and so I gave up, got up at 2.30am and had toast and hot chocolate. Around 3.30am, I noticed cramping in my low back it was significant downward pressure. It didn’t wear off, so I started timing using the Freya App - labour established!! Surges coming every 2 minutes for 1 minute and so intense I couldn’t speak/move through them.

What happened to the lovely long latent first phase of dancing, yoga and romantic movies I read about and prepared for? This was 0-100 in a few minutes!!

I called our private midwife to see if this intensity was normal so early and for advice on what to do next but no answer (!) she was working in a hospital later that day.... if baby could hold off another 12 hours for the scan and her to finish 🙈 that lovely home water birth we planned might still be possible..... but the surges kept coming and there was considerable down pressure. I panicked as I felt my body beginning to push.

I woke Alex and then got in the bath to help manage the sensations.
Alex called the NHS as things seemed to be happening very quickly and we needed support fast.

We agreed to go into hospital to be assessed. We were told we could go back home for the birth if all looked ok. 🤣

We threw the Tens machine on and rushed to the car - me puking into a bucket en route.

On arrival at triage the receptionists refused to let Alex in. I got upset and was repeatedly shouting “having a birth partner is a human right” while experiencing surges. I tried to leave but the intensity was too strong I couldn’t walk anywhere.

The triage room was small with just a bed and very bright lights, 3 attendants were in there with me. They kept asking me to lie down/sit down but the pressure downwards was too strong. I closed my eyes and was standing, swaying, pacing, squatting using up breathing during surges.

When the midwife came in the room I was on all fours on the floor rocking, asking for Alex and to go home. My waters broke around this time. I said I needed to pee and someone handed me a small cardboard dish - no dignity of going to the toilet - needless to say Ina May Gaskin’s ‘sphincter law’ demonstrated itself perfectly and I was unable to pee in the middle of the room surrounded by strangers which added to the physical discomfort. I was beginning to wonder if I was the only person in the room who had read about the physiology of childbirth 🙈 I was going to have to really advocate for myself.

My blood pressure was through the roof 158/93. It’s never been so high, feeling helpless I was shaking uncontrollably and couldn’t get a grip on the adrenaline.

The monitor showed baby was struggling and they kept showing me the paper reading and saying that they were concerned (but not offering any solutions 🤷🏼‍♀️) I don’t know what was more painful at this point the physical intensity of the surges or hearing his little heartbeat dive so faint each time they came. It felt like I was in triage alone like this for a long time - I just wanted Alex.

I needed to negotiate!! I said I’d only accept an examination if Alex was present. Then I had another particularly long and powerful surge while leaning forward over the bed - this time instead of up-breathing, I opened my mouth fully surrendered and just let whatever sound was there emerge. The penny finally dropped(!) and the midwife and RAN to get Alex.

After an emotional reunion the examination revealed I was 10cm fully dilated !!! Surges had only been happening for an hour but they were extremely strong with little break between.

Poor baby was not coping and the midwife was worried about possible cord prolapse.

I was asked to get in a wheelchair and speeded to an emergency room. It was ok, I now had Alex. He told me to keep my eyes closed and keep breathing deeply. There were lots of people rushing round the room and alarms going. Someone turned the lights down as we entered the emergency room - at last I was being heard.

Transferring from the wheelchair to the bed was the next challenge- I was determined to be upright and really didn’t want to be on my back or even sat down. There was too much back pressure. With one knee on the bed and one foot on the floor I froze - this is where I wanted to be - upright more in control, active birthing.

The midwives kept trying to encourage me to lie on my back. More surges came - then an explosive 💩 all over the floor, wall and one of the midwifes (what an incredible human being she is!)

I reluctantly got on my side for a few pushes and an examination with Alex holding my top leg in the air. I was then rolled on my back and legs wrestled into stirrups.

I was breathing to stay calm. Focusing on the affirmations/visualisations we practiced. Alex gave me a hanky drenched in lavender oil (it brought a lot of comfort for something so small). Instead of screaming I was trying to sing and roar through surges - at one point I was sucking Alex’s fingers another just wanting lots of kisses- anything to keep my jaw relaxed. One midwife was trying coached pushing which I definitely did not want, she was really up in my face - I think I punched her (SORRY! Again midwives are incredible human beings!)

A first episiotomy cut was performed and then a second. Ventouse suction was used to assist with the pushing. His head was out in 3 maybe 4 pushes. One midwife gushed that he was a “star gazer” looking up. This had made it more difficult to push him down as he was leading with the widest part of his head. Once his head was out the surging completely stopped - relief. It took a while for another surge to ramp up but a strong push during that and he was completely out, safe and on my chest in seconds. We’d been in that emergency room for just 13 minutes!

Nothing like the gentle, gradual foetal expulsion reflex I’d envisioned.

Alex was amazing and kept telling me to just look at baby. He gave a little cry and we knew he was fine - unfortunately the cord was cut early as they were worried about him but there didn’t appear to be much blood in the cord at all - not even enough to do baby’s blood test it transpired.

I had a managed third stage which was easy and got stitched up. Finally some gas and air!!! I did the whole thing without pain relief using just a Tens machine during the initial surges and breathing.

We were allowed home pretty quickly and could stay in the emergency room while waiting. These moments I’ll always remember Alex and I having a beautiful nap in bed together while holding our angel’s tiny hands.

Ruben has rewarded us with a very calm and restful first few days. We are totally in love.

While delivery was not the serene home water birth we planned and painstakingly prepped for - I emerged feeling hard as nails 💪🏽 so grateful to the NHS team who looked after us and the hypnobirthing techniques which did, in hindsight, help me to ride out the chain of events - the midwives commented that they didn’t believe I was so far along as I appeared (from the outside) to be managing well, they also said I continued to surprise them in the emergency room with how quickly we got him out.

Women’s bodies are amazing and we can literally do anything!

Post-partum I continue to listen to the relaxations I find them so soothing and Ruben does too. The first few days after birth I was really sore from the stitches and struggling to walk. I listened to some relaxations during which I experienced a profound and sudden relaxation of my pelvis and spine - everything literally softened and birth tension was released quite dramatically. Afterwards walking was instantly better and I had an amazing feeling of relief and energy gently tingling in my spine, shoulders and neck. I was even able to comfortably practice some gentle stretches. As a yoga teacher I’m used to experiencing physical relaxation but nothing quite as deep as that- hypnobirthing is truly magical - it works!