Birth story - Caroline and baby Alexandra

⚠ Triggers: pre-eclampsia, unplanned c-section, NICU after birth

Although my birth didn’t go to plan, and some parts could have felt traumatic, I want to share my story because the PBC really helped me feel positive about the whole thing. Huge thanks to all the mamas who shared their birth stories, I loved reading them during my pregnancy and they really helped me prepare 🧡 Maybe grab a cuppa cos this is quite a long read!

My lessons learnt:

· Things don’t always go to plan but you CAN have a positive experience no matter what happens – just focus on staying calm and seeing the best of the situation

· Pay attention to your baby’s movements when you’re labouring

· Trust your instincts and speak up, you know your body best

· Make sure your birth partner knows your birth preferences and how to pack the hospital bag. It’s really hard to give instructions once the surges come!

· Charge your phone while you can at home, esp if like me you have the screen on all the time using the Freya app

Total labour c.13 hours:

· 11pm – 6am labouring at home (got to 8cm)

· 6 – 11am labouring and pushing in labour ward

· 12:22pm baby born via c-section

My story

The day I started labour I’d been quite busy, I walked a lot, prepped some meals and de-iced the freezer 🤣 In the evening we had take-away pizza for dinner. By 9-9:30pm I was in a lot of discomfort with what felt like tummy ache from eating a big pizza too quickly 🍕😂 I said to my husband, Pierre, “what if this is the start of labour?” and he was like, “No way, you’ve just got gas!” So we went to bed as normal. For about an hour I lay in bed trying to sleep through the discomfort but eventually got up thinking that it felt like the real thing. Pierre was still in denial!

From 11:30pm I lay on my side on the sofa with my eyes closed breathing through the surges, using the Freya app to time them. The lights were on low and I found the Freya app music really relaxing. From the start my surges seemed to last 40-60 seconds. It was quite intense!

Pierre called the midwife just to notify her that we thought I was in labour and I spoke to her a little bit to confirm how I was feeling. She said to stay at home and keep labouring until the contractions get to 3 minutes apart.

I tried some different positions including a bath but found sitting down really uncomfortable so only lasted a few minutes! Ultimately I ended up leaning over the back of the sofa swaying my hips during surges, with the TENS machine on my lower back. At around 1am I threw up (called the midwife and she said this was a good sign!) I was really aware that I needed to stay hydrated and energised so forced myself to sip Lucozade and water and nibble on a banana and eat some dried apricots.

At 5am my surges were about 4mins apart but I told Pierre we needed to go to the hospital now because I wasn’t sure I could cope much longer at home! It then took about an hour to get ready (make sure your partner knows where to find all the last minute bits that need gathering up lol)

We got to the birth centre, via Uber, about 6:30am and they asked if I’d felt baby moving lately. I was totally thrown and said no but that I hadn’t been paying attention to movements. They immediately sent me up to the labour ward to get baby’s heart rate monitored because I had ‘reduced movements’. As far as I’m aware there were no problems with her heart/movements, so its possible I got sent to the labour ward unnecessarily just because I hadn’t paid attention to what baby was doing!

Because of COVID Pierre had to wait outside in the corridor while I was put in a shared room and hooked up to a machine to monitor baby’s heart rate. I asked for something for the pain and they gave me codeine and gas & air. I’m a bit fuzzy on the following order of things. They took my blood pressure and said it was high so I had to provide a urine sample which indicated I may have pre-eclampsia. They also took a blood sample. Finally they checked to see how dilated I was and I was thrilled to find out I was 8cm! I was then allowed into my own room where Pierre could join me. By this point Pierre was quite worried, he’d been left outside for nearly an hour with no updates and had no idea what was going on. I tried to bring him up to speed but it was so difficult to speak between surges!

It was then 8am and we were left alone again for what felt like ages while the shift change happened. Pierre ended up phoning the birth centre to find out what was going on as we had no clue where everyone had gone or what was happening. Eventually our midwife appeared with a student in tow. Pierre suddenly stepped up and was a great advocate for me here on out. He said we didn’t want any students and although the midwife said she’d respect our wishes I ended up saying the student could stay as it sounded like she’d be a great help rather than making me a guinea pig! Pierre set up the room as best as possible (lights off, curtains closed, candles and room spray out) but to be honest I kept my eyes closed pretty much all the time focusing on my breathing so didn’t notice a thing! 🤦‍♀️ I tried labouring standing up but the heart-rate monitors kept falling off so they made me lie on the bed (they didn’t have any mobile monitors available). They did their best to keep me upright with pillows but it still wasn’t quite the UFO position I’d hoped for!

I continued to labour using my TENS machine, up breathing and gas &air. The midwife went to break my waters by doing a sweep only to find they had already gone! She also discovered that there was meconium and that baby was back to back. It was now quite urgent that baby come out soon because they thought the waters may have broken quite a few hours ago and so the risk of infection was increased. Luckily I was fully dilated and the midwife said I needed to start pushing now to get baby out.

After the pretty uncomfortable sweep I rolled off the bed onto my hands and knees and burst into tears! I knew this was 100% me transitioning. I could even feel my body bearing down and pushing involuntarily. Both Pierre and the midwife were so supportive at this point, telling me I could do it, that I was doing great and my baby was fine. It all felt quite surreal, almost like an out of body experience because I was finally experiencing what I’d read in other people’s birth stories!

I got back onto the bed and started pushing, but eventually they hoisted my legs into stirrups and coached my pushing. I found this really tricky, I thought I was pushing but the midwife kept telling me I wasn’t! Haha I then just pushed like I was having a poo and that seemed to work (but I also pooped! 💩). Two or three doctors then came into the room and said if I hadn’t progressed within an hour then I’d need some kind of intervention. That time passed and baby was still very high up and not really progressing down my birth canal. An anaesthetist came to tell us that she recommended getting me ready for theatre but try getting baby out with forceps first and then if that didn’t work I’d need a C-section. Thanks to the PBC I felt able to ask if we could just go straight to the C-section. I was so tired at this point and for some reason just felt that was what I wanted. The anaesthetist agreed and then suddenly everyone jumped into action, with me being given a canula, consent forms to sign, COVID and MRSA swab tests, all whilst trying to suppress the urge to push!

When we got to theatre baby was still stuck high up and the anaesthetist said I’d made the right call going straight to C-section. This made me feel so good that I’d used my BRAIN, trusted my instincts and spoken up. Surgery went well and the team were all amazing. Pierre got to have a cuddle and cut the cord but when baby came out they spotted some jerky movements so she was whisked away before I could hold her. Unfortunately baby had to spend 36 precautionary hours in NICU and I also had to stay in hospital to complete a course of antibiotics because of the pre-eclampsia. We’re both absolutely fine now though 💕.

I also want to reassure others that despite not holding my baby and having skin to skin until 24 hours after birth we’ve bonded so well and I’ve not had any problems with breastfeeding. The PBC really helped me through this challenging after birth experience, helping me to focus on the positives like having access to breastfeeding support and the time and space to rest and recover!

In summary I felt so calm, positive and focused throughout my whole birth experience because of the PBC 🙏🙏 Even though not much went to plan I focused on the positive mantra that everyone and everything had mine and baby’s best interests at heart and to trust that as well as my own instincts. Up breathing and the Freya app were my saviour for staying in the zone and blocking out things that weren’t positive.

To all you mamas to be GOOD LUCK and I hope this has been helpful. Remember you can do anything because you, your body and your baby are incredible! You got this 👊 xxx