Birth story - Alia and baby boy

Nearly 5 months after the arrival of our second son, I thought it might be useful to share my birth story. I used The Positive Birth Company for both births, and I’m so thankful I found it. It was great preparation with our first baby, so I re-read the book when pregnant again and watched all the videos with my husband to refresh our memories. I also took up pregnancy yoga and Pilates in the latter weeks and listened to affirmations before bed, as I had done with my previous pregnancy.

Whether or not the hypnobirthing preparation was responsible, I was lucky to have a straightforward and quick birth the first time around in the summer of 2019. It wasn’t what I’d planned, which was a water birth in the local birth centre as I was low risk. However, on the day things kicked off so quickly that when we arrived at the hospital we ended up saying we needed the labour ward by mistake! When I got there I was placed in triage, examined and told I was already 9cm, so there was no time to transfer to the birth centre, hence our first son arrived in the labour ward. I didn’t really care at that stage and was just thankful he had arrived safely and that it was all over in about 4 hours.

This meant that second time around I was really keen to be in the birth centre, but also aware that due to midwife shortages and the pandemic, birth centres were often closed because of a lack of staff. I contemplated a home birth, but after discussions with my midwife I ruled it out as was told there was only one home birthing team serving the 3 boroughs in our area. Given how quickly things progressed last time, and knowing that second births can also be quicker, I didn’t want to be in the position where I was in established labour at home with no midwives available for some time. So I once again made sure I was registered at the birth centre and crossed all my fingers that things would work out on the day.

My due date came and went and after a few days I started to wonder if this birth might turn out very different from my first if I went very overdue and had to be induced. I was offered a sweep at 40 +4 which I declined, but after booking my next appointment for 40 +9 we agreed that I’d have a sweep then if nothing had happened by then as I was eager to avoid induction. Over the next couple of days I did everything possible to get labour started, from eating lots of spicy food to walking everywhere with my 2 year old. At 40 + 6, which was a Friday, I had a lovely and relaxing day as my toddler was at nursery and the sun was shining. I went to my pregnancy Pilates class followed by lunch in the local market. I then dropped by at a friend’s wedding reception, which was happening in our local park. I think all this must have got the oxytocin flowing as things finally kicked off that evening!

After having a takeaway and watching Sex Education, my husband and I went up to bed. About 20 minutes later, and whilst I was half asleep, I heard a pop and knew that my waters had broken – this is how things had kicked off the first time. With our eldest, contractions began coming every 3 in 10 minutes about 20 minutes after my waters broke, so I was prepared for a similar timeframe again. In classic comedy fashion, just as I woke my husband up to let him know my waters had broken, our 2 year old also woke up crying. My husband went to settle him back down and I called my mum, who was an hour away, to let her know that things were likely to ramp up soon so she should make her way to the hospital. Sure enough, around 10 minutes after my waters broke, I experienced my first contraction. I went to the bathroom and soon after that they were coming thick and fast –every 2 minutes! I found up-breathing to be an effective way of getting through each contraction, as I had with my first birth.

Our son was refusing to settle back down so I told my husband to abort mission and ring our neighbours, as we had pre-planned that they would come over to look after our son until my husband’s parents could pick him up. When our neighbour arrived at the house our toddler was having a full-on tantrum, as he cottoned on that something was up and that we were having to leave him in the middle of the night. This was a pretty stressful thing to deal with whilst in active labour! I was still in the bathroom at this point, on all fours with the Freya app open, which was invaluable during contractions. Apart from helping me track them and realise that I was in active labour, it also gave me something to focus on amidst the chaos.

After several minutes of my husband trying to calm down our hysterical child, I called out from upstairs that we needed to leave for the hospital straight away. Our lovely neighbour (who luckily has a son the same age as our eldest so knew how to deal with a toddler mid tantrum), quickly whisked our son away when she realised how established my labour was at this point, and he calmed down almost as soon as he got to hers. So to all second time mums with toddlers – I’d say it's a good idea to have someone close by on standby for childcare just in case things kick off quickly.

Once we knew our son was being looked after, things ramped up further. I managed to get downstairs, but contractions were so intense that I was on the floor by our front door, debating whether we would make it to the hospital in time (I really didn’t want to give birth by the side of the road!). As it was only a 20 minute drive, I felt like it was worth a shot, so crawled to the car outside and was on all fours across the back seat as it was too uncomfortable to sit down. I remember shouting out to my husband to bring my shoes as I’d forgotten to put any on! The worst part was that in all the commotion we packed my hospital bag…but forgot my bag of snacks! To be fair I didn’t need them during labour, but was craving all my goodies post baby.

Luckily, as it was the middle of the night, the drive was straight forward with minimal traffic. However, we came a cropper when we got to the security barrier to the hospital carpark. We couldn’t get hold of anyone on the intercom to open the barrier so my husband in a panic resorted to trying to lift it with his bare hands – like Smithy in Gavin and Stacey when Nessa is in labour! It still makes me laugh thinking about it, but at the time it was no laughing matter. Luckily someone eventually let us through and soon I was hobbling my way through the doors to the hospital.

The drama didn’t end there as it was around 1am at this point, and there was no one to be found in the hospital lobby. It was Friday night and as we’d walked in a minibus of people had arrived as one of them was in labour – the rest were all drunk from their night out! Whilst I knelt on the floor with each passing contraction, the well-meaning partygoers crowded round to ask if I was ok. I remember thinking ‘what on Earth is happening right now’. All I could do was repeat that I wanted to be in the birth centre, but the people around me informed me that it was closed as there was no one there, and I remember my heart sinking. My husband obviously didn’t want to leave me, so off the partygoers went to find a member of staff. One even buzzed the staff intercom to get help! After what was probably the longest 15 minutes of my life, hospital staff from the labour ward rushed down with a massive sheet and apparatus in case the baby literally arrived then and there.

In a massive twist of fate, the midwives from the birth centre happened to be coming out of the lift at this exact moment and heard me saying I wanted to be in the birth centre. There was some confusion when they checked if I was low risk, as one of the questions they asked was where I’d given birth first time round, and when we said the labour ward they assumed that there was a reason I’d had to have him there! Luckily, we explained that it was purely because it all happened so fast last time, so they agreed to check me and if the head wasn’t out yet then I could move to the birth centre.

After checking, one of the midwives confirmed that, although I was fully dilated, it was safe for me to be moved. They brought through a wheelchair and soon I was being wheeled into the birth centre. I can’t tell you the relief I felt at finally making it there! It felt like a real stroke of luck against all the odds. The room was lovely, with dimmed lighting and a massive bed in the middle. There was a huge beanbag on the bed which I used to prop myself up in an upright, forward and open position. There were two midwives present – a senior midwife and student – and they were just brilliant.

Not long after entering the room, my mum arrived at the hospital and was ushered into the room. My mum was there when my first baby was born and although this hadn’t been planned, it had made the birth even more special. Just like last time, she sat in a corner of the room allowing my husband to be the main birthing partner by my side, but offering words of encouragement. My husband started playing my birthing playlist on his phone and after all the chaos and confusion, I finally felt in safe hands and ready for my baby to arrive.

The senior midwife examined me again and sure enough she said she could see the baby’s head. During my first birth, despite the contractions intensifying just as quickly, the down breathing stage had been a lot longer (around two hours) so I had time to get into a zone and rhythm. This time around, everything was a lot faster and more intense and I remember feeling it all a lot more vividly. The senior midwife was excellent at coaching me through, helping me to focus my energy to make the most of each contraction. 20 minutes after arriving in the room, our second little boy arrived at 1.39am. I remember seeing him and thinking how big he looked, and sure enough he was 8 pounds 10, over 2 pounds bigger than our first baby!

I remember feeling so exhausted but cherishing that initial skin to skin. Baby had delayed cord clamping and I had active management for the placenta, but it still took forever to appear! Our son was weighed and then given to my husband to have some skin to skin whilst I caught my breath. At this point I started shivering and felt a little bit worried, as last time I had fainted soon after giving birth, hence wanting my husband to hold our son just in case. I think this was probably my body in shock given the speed and intensity of it all. I do wonder if the down stage was a lot faster this time due to gravity and the bigger weight of our baby!

I had a second degree tear, same as last time, so needed stitches. I’d found these the hardest part of giving birth previously as it had taken some time, however this time around the stitching was a lot more straightforward.

After being stitched up and resting for a little while, the shaky feeling subsided and I was able to hold our little one in my arms again and start feeding him. After this, I got the legendary tea and toast, and felt a huge sense of accomplishment and a surge of happiness. As our baby had arrived in the early hours, we were able to stay in the room until we were discharged early evening the next day, and it felt like being in a hotel! My mum went to ours to rest and get the place ready for our arrival, and my husband and I got to spend precious time with the new arrival in our little newborn bubble.

Despite the comedy of errors that was the start of this birth story, I was really happy with how it ended, as baby arrived in a fantastic and calm setting and I was supported by both the excellent midwives and my wonderful husband and mum. I still can’t believe that our baby arrived less than 2 hours after my waters broke! Although it wasn’t the water birth I’d planned, I realise now that the speed at which my body seems to start labour means I don’t think I’d have ever got a water birth, as there would never be enough time to fill the pool. I know that the difficulties we experienced gaining entry to the birth centre were down to the awful staff shortages and immense pressure that midwives are currently under. Nevertheless, it was a really positive experience and I feel so lucky to have got my wish to give birth in the birth centre.

The moment our eldest son met his little brother will forever stay with me, as he was completely over the moon and couldn’t stop smiling. I feel so lucky to have our two boys and to have had two straightforward pregnancies and births. Positive births do happen, and I hope that sharing my story will go some way to helping others to feel more confident about how their birth will pan out. To all the mums-to-be out there – you’ve got this!