Birth story - Roshni and baby Aarav

I had my first baby boy back in May 2019 and had a beautiful water birth (that birth story is also on here). I fell pregnant last June and was excited but also apprehensive about giving birth. I had such a positive experience first time that I had high expectations and wanted the second birth to be even better.

I finished work at 33 weeks pregnant in order to relax before baby arrived. I made sure I walked a lot and at 36 weeks, started eating 6 dates a day and drinking raspberry leaf tea - all of these are meant to help quicken labour and strengthen your uterus. I also drank ghee (clarified butter) with hot milk to help with the pushing stage (I drank this during my first pregnancy and had no issues with the pushing stage).

Note, I had to have extra growth scans during this pregnancy as my first born was born on the 6th centile, I also had to take aspirin in order to increase blood flow to the placenta. This is meant to help to increase the weight of the baby. Although, in my case it made no difference as Aarav was only 6 pounds and my first son was 5 pounds 12 ounces. My body is clearly designed to make smaller babies.

On 21st February, I started to feel mild cramps that lasted for hours. I got really excited and realised that my baby was going to join me soon. I used the ‘Spirit babies’ book to do a special meditation about birth and I also wrote down my intentions during the New Moon on how my birth should be. I wrote down ‘my birth will be even better than I imagine, it will be much quicker and I will recover better. Baby will be healthy and I will enjoy motherhood.’

On 27th February, I started to get random contractions during the day and I ended up going on all fours. I also wanted to be by myself and sent my husband and toddler out so I could take a hot bath in peace. In the bath, I listened to positive affirmations, took my rose quartz crystals out (the crystal of love) and said to my bump ‘I surrender, come whenever you want, you will be safe and loved’. I was also extremely hungry and tired, and jokingly said ‘my body is trying to ensure I eat and rest enough before I go into labour’.

At 7.30pm, I put my son to bed and before he went to sleep, he said to me ‘Mummy, I see Aarav in the shower’ (at this point, we had no idea what the gender was, but we had names in mind). He also hugged me really tightly and wouldn’t let go.

At 9.30pm, whilst I was resting in bed, my surges started. I got really excited and felt that they were quite intense compared to first time round. Again, I wanted to be by myself but my husband refused to sleep elsewhere. To get through the surges, I used the Freya app and did some UP breathing. By 10.30pm, the app told me that I was in active labour. This happened with my first labour, and I remember going to the hospital and being turned away. I didn’t want the same thing to happen so I carried on labouring at home. I was really enjoying it, I took warm baths, said positive affirmations (‘I am strong’ ‘I can do this’ ‘I am a goddess’ ‘my cervix is dilating quickly’). At around 2am, I went on all fours a lot and made ‘mmm sounds’. My husband sounded concerned and told me that we should go to the hospital. I declined and told my husband that I was able to speak during the contractions so I was doing well. I actually stopped timing at this stage and was in my own zone. I did find that the surges were closer and more intense but I just thought that was normal second time round. Around 4am, I felt the urge to push. At this stage, I panicked. I told my husband what was happening and he told me to get into the car. I kept saying ‘I can’t do this, I don’t want to go into the car’. My mother in law heard the commotion and told me to breathe deeply. She calmed me down and we went into the car.

Whilst I was in the car (luckily we are only 5 minutes drive away from the hospital) I said to my husband ‘I think the head is emerging’ and he told me to stop it from coming out lol. He was in a state and normally he’s very calm. As we drove into the hospital car park, I could feel the head and body coming out. I said to my husband ‘omg the baby is coming out, I’m not even pushing, it’s just happening’. I pulled my joggers down and delivered the baby. My husband parked up and ran in to the hospital. I checked the babies gender (boy!) and put him under my top and cuddled him. He started crying straight away so I knew he was ok. I also checked the birth time. After a few minutes, the midwives came running to the car and cut the cord as well as whisking me onto a wheelchair. They were impressed that I had remembered to check the time and also how calm I was. 10 minutes later, I delivered the placenta (I ended up getting it encapsulated- best thing I did!) and also had my tears stitched up (second degree tear).

It took me about a day to really process this birth as it happened so quickly. I am grateful that all was well and that I gave birth in the hospital car park at least. I do feel really proud of myself because I’ve never seen myself as a strong person, but I birthed and delivered own baby and I feel like a superwoman! The best thing about giving birth (apart from meeting your baby) is meeting your primal self - the part that is instinctive and intuitive, the part that is hidden away. Personally for me, giving birth is when I feel most spiritual. If I could give birth every week, I would!

My big tips for STMs are - never underestimate how quick your second labour might be. My first lasted over 40 hours and this one was only 7 hours long.

I hope you enjoyed reading my story.