Birth story - Niloofar’s 60+ Hour Labour In Denmark

I would like to share my story to highlight the importance of using the B.R.A.I.N framework when things don’t go according to plan and making sure we had our birth plan ready to adapt to any birth experience and make it a positive one.

Birth Preparation

I had quite a smooth and easy pregnancy. The only two things that really affected me was the pelvic girdle pain (PGP) and braxton hicks. My PGP started around week 14 and got quite intense during the beginning of the third trimester but somehow it got better after week 33-34, maybe due to some shifts in baby position. My braxton hicks were also quite intense, starting from the end of the second trimester all the way until the end. They were so frequent and noticeable that my midwives were making a bet that I’ll go into labour soon!

I was always very scared of giving birth, so that I can admit it was one of my biggest fears. That’s the main reason I sought help and got to know Hypnobirthing and signed up to The Positive Birth Companies pregnancy and birth course. I have always been a factual and evidence seeking person, and it was very important for me that the content of the course must be relatable and logical. 

We started the course together with my husband, who was my birth partner. I can truly say that having my husband sitting next to me throughout the whole course, made a huge difference all the way through the pregnancy and birth experience. As during the birth, the role of birth partner is incredibly important. He definitely followed the advice about massages, writing a birth plan, making a birth playlist, using the B.R.A.I.N technique when it comes to making a decision, being my advocate and most importantly helping me count my inhales and exhales through every single surge.

In my third trimester I started the daily positive affirmation, reading positive birth stories and listening to Freya app meditation. I also continued practising the upward and downward breathing (especially when I was in the loo!). That helped me to relax my mind and get into the zone. My daily exercises, focusing on pelvic muscles relaxation and strengthening was also a great way to improve the birth experience.

The beginnings of labour

My labour was very unpredictable. At week 37+6, Monday morning 4am I woke up from the urge of needing to go to the toilet. For an hour or two, I kept going to the toilet and emptying my whole system. I started thinking maybe this is it, as I also got some mild period-like cramp, so I woke up my husband. We were both excited and nervous, we didn’t know exactly if our little daughter was going to be with us soon or if it was "false" labour. 

The surges were still far apart from each other, and the hospital told us to wait for 3 contractions in 10 minutes each lasting for one minute, or if the water broke, we should go in. A few hours later I was still in the same place and started listening to the meditations from the Freya app while recording my surges. I tried to hydrate and eat (despite my very low appetite), while watching my show on Netflix, my husband stayed home and worked from there. 

A full 24 hours went by, there was no sign of water breaking or mucus plug coming out. Once again exactly at 4am the next day, I woke up having more intense surges, which started to become uncomfortable and I had to stop talking and only focus on breathing. This is where I asked my husband to put pressure on my lower back, and this one was a saviour throughout the whole birth. We called the hospital as soon as the surges became 3 in 10 minutes and the Freya app also suggested that I must be in established labour now. They told us to come in for a check to see how far I am. I have been personally fine with a dilation check, especially as it was getting intense and long for me. 

We somehow managed to get all the bags, and “me in labour” in the car and drive the 10 minute journey to the hospital. The walk to the delivery centre was a short walk, but for a person with surges every few minutes, it became like an intensive hike! 

I continued listening to the Freya relaxation words throughout the drive and also the walk to the delivery centre.

We got our first check and to our surprise, after +26 hours, I was told that I’m only 1cm dilated! I remember thinking if this is the discomfort for 1cm dilation and it’s been more than 24 hours, I’ve got to go for my other plans which was assistance and medication to help me get through the whole process!  As the safety of my baby is the priority.

They gave me a strong pain relief cocktail and a heat pack to take home. They told me to stop recording my surges, as it is very early in the labour and I should only focus on getting sleep as I will have a long way to go and need to reserve my energy.

Being back home, I managed to relax and get some on-off sleep in between each surge. The surges started to get less frequent, but with same intensity. I had a toilet visit when I saw the mucus plug or the bloody show started to appear. It wasn’t only one time discharge, the whole mucus plug and bloody show continued throughout the labour.

Around 6pm that day I started to get more frequent surges again and I started recording them. Once the app suggested I’m in “active” labour again, we decided to go to the hospital for another check and some medical assistance. This is when I found out again that after a day and half I am only dilated 2-3cm and hardly even in active phase. However, my cervix has been completely thinned out.

The surges became irregular and further apart one more time. My partner and I decided to stay in the hospital and accept having more medical attention to give me the chance to get some rest.

Very intense but beautiful hours went by and when I was nearly 4cm dilated after +48 hours, they transferred me to the delivery room and we requested the epidural as soon as possible. After a good conversation on risks associated with epidural, it was placed very professionally, I hardly noticed the placement and the needles. After it took effect, I finally managed to fully sleep and rest my body to also help with dilation. All this time, the Freya app and birth playlist was on, which significantly helped with the vibe. My husband was on his toes the whole time with applying pressure on my back, massaging, and making sure that I stayed hydrated and fed.

We agreed with midwives that they would let me sleep and afterwards assist me with some upright position movements to speed up the dilation. I could still walk and feel my legs with the “walking” epidural, however for squatting or sitting on the toilet, I needed a hand.

Fast forward to the birth - from 4cm to 9cm in 2 hours!

After the upright movements and lots of rest, I was still at 4cm. We had almost passed 50 hours of labour and at this point we were offered to have my waters broken. We took a good hour or two to use B.R.A.I.N and ask for a second opinion from a senior midwife regarding the risks and alternatives. We went through different scenarios with midwives, and tried to make sure we are aware of what could possibly be the next intervention (induction, etc.). Due to my exhaustion, and epidural time limit, we agreed to the water breaking. 

After my water was broken, everything went fast! After only two hours I went from 4cm to 9cm, and three hours after that, I started to feel pressure down there and a feeling of expansion. Like a ball being in between my pelvis. I never got the natural urge to push (like going for a big number two), which was surprising as the walking epidural didn’t take the last pushing surge pain away.

About 5pm I started to feel very intense surges again and started to moan for the first time, my midwife confirmed that I must already be in the pushing phase and also checked how low the baby was. She guided me through some pushing positions (on my side or all four) and through breathing. I can definitely agree to all parents to be that the last surges until the baby girl was with us, were the most intense ones. But those are the countdowns, which bring us step closer to the magical moment of holding our baby, therefore much easier to manage. 

After +60 hours, at 18:10 on 13th March, our baby girl was put on my stomach, which marked the most emotional, pure and miraculous moment for me. I will never forget the relief of pressure after her legs were out and even better after the placenta was out. I have already accepted the injection of oxytocin to prevent any major blood loss due to family history and being deficient in iron level.

The cord was cut when there was no more pulsing, and we got a beautiful golden hour of skin to skin until the little angel found her way to my breast. 

I got a first and a second degree tear, I used to be very scared of, but as taught in the course, I really did not notice a thing. The midwives started examination carefully and started the stitching with a guidance of a senior. Thankfully the epidural effect was still on so I didn't feel the anaesthesia injection for stitches. 

I could never fully appreciate the meaning of “not caring” about anything else, the moment they put your baby on your chest! But right when it happened, time stopped and everything and everyone else was just disappeared for me.❤️
We got a lot compliments from midwives on how sync my husband and I were in terms of breathing through the surges and making the whole birth experience a team work! This is why I strongly believe the Hypnobirthing Course was a huge contributor.