Birth story - Veronika and twin boys

Although I had a healthy pregnancy and was very lucky to go without complications until the very end, this was a very difficult pregnancy for me. From the start, I was dealing with a lot of emotions after learning we were having twins and about halfway through the second trimester I became extremely uncomfortable, until the last month of the third trimester in which it was just downright painful most of the time to be pregnant. I had a really great experience with my first birth, after doing the PBC course and I was really looking forward to manifesting an even more wonderful birth with my second child. I was hoping to be able to do a water birth this time around and, now that I knew what to expect, really be prepared to have an even more positive experience. Then, we learned it was twins and I was so disheartened. Not only was it a lot to think of how different our family would be as a family of five versus a family of four, but I felt like all my birth wishes were ruined. I knew I couldn't do a water birth and I soon learned that I couldn't give birth in the midwife led unit. I would have to birth at a hospital with a NICU, about 15 minutes away, and the midwife would attend my birth there, UNLESS there was a birth at the midwife led unit, in which case the midwife would have to attend that birth, because the MLU only has one midwife on call at a time. I LOVE my midwife team, so I was devastated to learn they might not be attending my birth. In addition, I learned I would have to birth in the operating room, because that is standard protocol for twin births. UGH. I immediately booked the same doula we had used with our first birth, because knowing the midwife might not be there, I knew my partner and I would need extra support. After that, I stopped thinking about the birth because I was so upset it would not be as I imagined. I was NOT feeling very positive. When my midwife brought up at my 28 week appointment if I had thought at all about what I wanted for my birth, I just burst into tears, because I had spent so much time purposely NOT thinking about it. After talking with her, I decided I needed to change my attitude and I began to prepare. I made lists of questions to ask the midwives each appointment, I shared my fears with my doula, I downloaded the Freya app and began practising the meditations and breathing anytime I was having trouble sleeping (often), I made a birth playlist and listened to it often, I combed through the positive birth stories here and found and read every positive twin birth I possibly could. I made sure everyone knew that my goal was as little medical intervention as reasonably possible and began to convince myself that a positive twin birth was possible!

The beginnings of labour

I had been having strong Braxton Hicks for most of my third trimester. I was sure I would go early, as so many twins do, so we had hospital bags packed at 32 weeks. At 38 weeks, I started having strong surges at night. I was convinced that it was time and I started breathing through them with my Freya app and I took a shower, listening to my birth playlist. Around 8am, they stopped completely. At my midwife appointment that day, I declined a membrane sweep, which I had originally planned to do, because my Mom had had a COVID exposure and couldn't come for three more days, and I wanted the babies to hold off until then. Low and behold, three days later, strong surges picked back up again late in the morning. I had a midwife appointment that afternoon, so I called them and they said to come to regular appointment and we could do a check to see if this might actually be the start of labour. I also had to drop off a 24 hour urine sample this appointment because at my last appointment the protein in my urine had been elevated. My husband came with me in case it was decided that it was time to go to the hospital. The midwife checked me and said I was 2cm dilated and about 60% effaced. My surges were no longer regular by this point, although they were strong, so I opted for a sweep and we called my mom to come since the midwife thought labor could start at any moment.

The next day was Wednesday. The midwife called in the morning and said the protein in my urine was over 2400, with normal being 30. Although my blood pressures had almost always been normal (with a couple flukes here and there) they were very worried about me continuing the pregnancy much longer, because it seemed I was very likely to develop preeclampsia. After a long discussion with the midwife and using my BRAIN, I decided to opt for an induction that evening at 7pm. Although I had really wanted to avoid an induction, there was no one in labor at the MLU, which meant I would have the midwife with me that evening and it seemed the best option to keep my interventions at a minimum since there was a good chance preeclampsia could develop in the next couple days. I decided to start with the cervadel insert instead of pitocin to see if we could keep it a more gentle induction. I felt really good about my decision and husband and I were all ready to go when the midwife calls back and said that the labor and delivery unit was full and they couldn't get me in for an induction that night. So, she rescheduled me for an induction at noon the next day. We did our best to get a good night's rest and had a hearty breakfast the next morning. I get another call from the midwife around 9am. Labor and delivery is still full-they have people delivering in triage, people delivering in the paediatrics unit, they have nowhere for me to go. So, I was rescheduled AGAIN for 3pm that afternoon. "Go get a pedicure," my midwife told me and so I did. We arrive at the hospital for our 3pm induction and there are still no beds for me. The midwife arrives shortly after us and tells us she is on it and working hard to get me a bed. She was even checking to see if maybe we could deliver at the MLU at the other hospital because she really doesn't want me to go another day pregnant. (One of the plusses of delivering at this hospital is that I am literally the midwife's only patient!-provided she can be there) Around 4:45pm, a bed in triage opens and the midwife feels better now that they can begin my intake and monitor my blood pressure. We wait in triage until about 6:30pm when a bed opens up and then my induction begins about 7pm with the cervidil. I declined an epidural catheter even though that meant that if there were a true emergency and a C-section was needed, I would have to be put under general anaesthesia. After speaking with the midwives and using my BRAIN, I knew that most unplanned cesareans are not true emergencies, which means there would likely be time to have an epidural put into place if needed.

Finally, I feel like I am ready and in the zone to make my positive twin birth happen. Surges became regular from the cervidil at about 10/11pm. They continued throughout the night, getting stronger and stronger. I used my Freya app, listened to my playlist, and changed my upright forward and open position often. I stayed moving and used up breathing through each surge. Around 5am, I felt the surges were intense enough that I needed extra support and called our doula to come join us. She arrived around 6am and helped me advocate for a wireless monitoring system, which was great to be able to move around more. I continued to change positions, husband and I did some walks around the (now practically empty) labour and delivery ward. My low back was very sore and my nurse located a really lovely water heating pad, which we strapped onto my back and it really helped me through the surges. Unfortunately, sometime in the afternoon (time got away from me here), my surges levelled out and started getting further apart. In addition, I consented to a cervical check and I was not making much progress. Still about 2cm dilated and 80% effaced. I felt completely defeated, like I had done so much work for nothing, but my doula and midwife helped to keep me positive and reminded me that dilation isn't everything and I had become further effaced and that they would start the pitocin very low and I could still move around as much as I'd like with the IV.

They started the pitocin and I worked hard to get back in my zone. Freya app affirmations, birth playlist, upbreathing, etc! They had to keep upping the pitocin levels because I still wasn't progressing enough and I got discouraged once again. At this point, from the combination of being pregnant with twins, my high urine protein, and the IV fluids, my feet were so swollen that it hurt to stand. I couldn't even fit socks on them anymore. I called the midwife in and had a good cry about it because I wanted to be walking around and standing, but I just couldn't. The midwife was so wonderful and massaged my feet for what felt like ages, it was marvellous and really relaxed me and got me back into my zone. As I was laying there, I felt a sharp jab low in my pelvis like one of the babies had kicked me and I heard a pop and after a 15-20 second delay, my waters started leaking! Our doula helped me find other great positions to labor in and we put the heating pad back on my lower back again for a while. I found a really nice seated position my doula called "throne" and the nurse put a bar in front of me to hold on to and I laboured here for a good while. I was still feeling a bit discouraged by my lack of progress and how much work I was doing. I really latched onto the mantra "the only thing I need to do is relax and allow my body to birth my baby". So each time a surge came on, I focused on relaxing my body and as I did my up-breathing, I imagined and visualised that the more I relaxed, the wider my cervix was opening. My doula watched me carefully and coached me to breathe when she noticed I wasn't or to relax my shoulders if I tensed up. My husband would tell me how amazing I was and how amazed everyone was that I was so relaxed and focused and making it look so easy.

Fast Forward to the birth

After what felt like hours of this (what is time?!) I consented to another check and I was 9cm! I felt like a rockstar. Finally! Not long after, I felt like I needed to poop so I headed to the toilet. The nurse helped me there since I had my IV to drag along and whatnot and a big surge came on as I sat on the toilet. I began to push. The nurse started telling the midwife that I wasn't pooping, but that the baby was coming and they needed to get me to the operating room to deliver. I assured her I was pooping (I really was!) and she confirmed there was poop but also the baby was coming. I was very annoyed at this point to have to get wheeled to the OR, but I got onto my bed and they wheeled me there while my husband and doula finished getting changed into their scrubs. On the way to the OR, my body began pushing and I used my down breathing through each push. The nurse told me to stop pushing and I assured her I didn't think I could, it was actually involuntary (not my experience with my first birth!) Once there, they made me move onto a little OR bed, which I adamantly told them I could not do, how was that even possible?! I could literally feel baby A's head between my legs and didn't know how to move my body that way and 100% did NOT want to be on my back, but they helped me over and after a few more pushes, I delivered baby A, Alexander at 9:11pm. Feeling that body slide out, was just the most incredible feeling. His umbilical cord was very short and they didn't delay cord clamping as long as I would have liked, but I did get to hold him immediately and then was able to have about 10-15 minutes of skin to skin before delivering baby B. They told me that it was time to push the next baby out, so I handed baby A off to my doula and held my husband's hand as I pushed for baby B. This pushing was different because his heart rate had dropped, so they told me not to breathe through the push, but to hold my breath and put my chin to my chest and push. My second water broke on the first push and after 3-4 more pushes, baby B, Benjamin, was out at 9:38pm. I held him for a minute or two before they cut his cord and then they quickly brought him back and I got some good skin to skin time with him, too, while delivering my placenta(s) and getting one small stitch. Both babies were deemed healthy and happy and we all returned to the labor and delivery room for recovery. I was able to nurse both boys and relax with my husband for some time before I got up to go to the bathroom for the first time and we realised that I was losing much too much blood and was haemorrhaging. I blacked out and they got me back in bed and the midwife pulled out a huge mass of blood clots, which she showed me. They gave me two drugs (pitocin and one other) to help my uterus contract faster. The midwife explained that because my uterus was so stretched and distended from carrying two babies and so tired from labouring for almost 24 hours, it was just taking too long to contract back down, which caused the clots to form. All this blood loss led to an extra day in the hospital and an iron infusion, but I did not need a blood transfusion and it did not in any way take away from my positive birth experience; it happened so long after the birth itself I didn’t even associate it with the birth experience, really.

I laboured for nearly 24 hours and had a birth free of any medical intervention beyond the induction. I felt so proud of myself for delivering TWO babies and doing it on my own without any pain medication. I set a goal for myself to have a beautiful twin birth and (with a lot of luck in my favour) I was able to make it happen. Thank you to The Positive Birth Company for all the guidance, for the Freya app, and for this positive space on the internet that took me from a very negative place in the beginning to a place where I could really manifest the birth experience I wanted, even when things did not go exactly to plan.