Birth story - Valentine and baby Alexandra

I purchased the digital pack at the start of my pregnancy and my husband and I watched all the videos together. We both learnt a lot from it, especially the science behind pregnancy and giving birth!

I was quite scared of the idea of a natural birth and was never the most comfortable around hospitals, but the the course actually got me excited about giving birth naturally and my confidence grew throughout the months. It is really strange how you see hospitals with a completely different eye when you are pregnant! I find we just naturally become braver without trying to!

I especially loved listening to the positive affirmations before bed and in the bath. I also practised the upbreathing daily and read probably hundreds of the positive stories! I found the stories so encouraging and after a few, I almost started feeling like I had already experienced child birth myself! I thought if so many women can do it, why not me!

Pregnancy

We were lucky to get pregnant easily and this was followed by a straight forward pregnancy with no complications. I loved being pregnant and enjoyed every stage of it (apart from a funny post digestion taste in my mouth in the first 3 months, but which I quickly forgot about!)

I had lots of energy during the day and never slept so well in my entire life at night!

When lockdown kicked in, I had an initial wobble worrying about catching the virus and wondering what may happen with our hospital with the constant policy changes, but then I decided that it was best to try and stay cool and stop watching the news! I had my husband and my dog at home and we just used this strange time to relax, walk in open spaces and have continuous home barbecues!

Due date

I had convinced myself I may be early simply because so many of my close friends had been (not a reason at all I know)

My due date came and went and there wasn’t a single sign of baby coming. My bump was still high and my instinct was that she was nowhere near ready! I felt great, I had lots of energy and no pain and was still walking daily with the dog, doing yoga and also started all the tricks: pineapple, spicy food, clary sage, raspberry leaf tea, expressing, even sex!

After an additional scan to check on her size at 41 weeks, Everything appeared to be fine with both of us and there was no need to speed things. I was determined to let her come when she was ready and told myself she could very well be a 42 weeks baby and I just had to be patient and give her that time. Also being French my husband and I thought perhaps it all made sense as official due date in France is later (41 weeks!)

I still decided to try a sweep, just to try to get things started but sadly nothing.

By the time I was 41+4 and still zero sign of baby getting ready, I started worrying and wondering why my body was not doing what it was supposed to!

I knew it was the worst reaction to have and I had to instead keep positive but it was easier said than done!

I was also conscious of my friends and family starting to worry about me even though they were great at hiding it!

After refusing an initial induction, I decided to accept one for 41+6, thinking I could always change my mind and not turn up on the day.

I went for an unplanned last sweep the night before (with an angel midwife at the birth centre who told me to come in without booking) but again nothing...

Induction

I arrived for my my induction in the morning and sadly was greeted by a midwife I didn’t connect with. I was a little upset starting the process because of it, but then quickly relaxed. The plan was to have the balloon inserted to dilate my cervix enough to have my water broken a few hours later. I had the balloon put in which was fine but my baby immediately became very active, probably already finding it quite stressful and not enjoying having her head touched so much!

They then realised my blood pressure was actually quite high so, to be safe, I had to stay in hospital waiting for the next step (I was initially offered to go home waiting for the balloon to do its magic and come back in the evening).

My husband was able to stay until 8pm but was then asked to go home. The plan was to have my water broken at 11pm and he would come back then.

Unfortunately, nothing happened that night as they had a few emergencies and were very busy. As I was seen as stable and not yet in labour, understandably I wasn’t seen as a priority. I was happy to wait but didn’t get any sleep and was getting a little bit fed up - A nurse then came to check on me and removed the balloon at 5am and noticed that my baby had suddenly moved from my pelvis (having been in perfect position since month 4! ) Again a sign she was not loving the situation!

This is where I know my Hypnobirthing helped as I didn’t panic, I remained calmed and started to have a think about what the best next move was.

I waited for my husband to arrive at 8am, had a little cry with him as I was so exhausted. I knew I had little energy left to start labour having had a sleepless night and knowing my cervix was likely to have closed again! (as they had now removed the balloon but hadn’t yet broken my water!) They were still very busy!

This is where we decided to use our BRAIN and both agreed to talk to an obstetrician to discuss the best plan.

A few hours later we spoke to the most amazing obstetrician/surgeon who immediately agreed an elective c section would be the safest option at this stage (considering the delay in the induction process, the fact we were now 42 weeks and she had to come out sooner than later, as well as my exhaustion, my blood pressure and my daughters reaction to the induction start! Not a good cocktail!!)

He said she was now back in position and we could try and break my waters and see if things progressed naturally, but also said I would be likely to need the drip and it may well then end in interventions and possibly emergency c section as we couldn’t afford to let her stay in much longer!

So for us it was a no brainer! I didn’t want to cause her or myself any stress or trauma particularly having had 30hrs of no sleep and I wanted my positive story and make sure we could hopefully bond naturally afterwards.

C section

So we were booked for an evening c section on the same day!

Ironically while waiting for them to come and get us, my surges actually started and intensified until it was time to have the epidural! I had to have it between two surges but the anaesthetist was amazing and even made jokes when I asked if it was still ok to go ahead! He said he had had to deal with women at a far more advanced state than me, pretty much dancing around which was obvious but reassuring to hear!

The c section was fabulous. I never thought such a clinical procedure could be so beautiful and actually romantic! We had our playlist on, my husband by my side, amazing doctors (the surgical team was incredible and I felt so well looked after.) Before we knew it, I heard “Are you ready to meet your baby?” and there she was!

It was truly the most magical, surreal moment of my life. My husband and I were crying just looking at her like she was a true miracle! We had delayed cord clamping, my husband then cut the cord and we both had skin to skin with her before being taken to the recovery room where she latched immediately. I was in complete heaven.

I am so so pleased I used my BRAIN and chose my elective c section as it was not only a truly positive experience with no pain or stress but genuinely even more beautiful than I had imagined!

Although I was a little disappointed not to have experienced a natural water birth, I know this was simply my own personal birth story and experience and it was definitely positive!

It’s impossible to predict what will happen on the day, but I’ve realised that what is truly important is your own state of mind, so that you can be okay with whatever pans out on the day even if not going according to your dream plans. The right state of mind will also really help you make the right decisions, that are right for you and your baby!

I completely believe my Hypnobirthing skills helped me listen to my baby’s needs and helped me remain calm, especially when separated from my husband.

We stayed in hospital for a couple of days. I must say I found it very reassuring to be surrounded by professionals having just had my first baby! I personally think there is no rush to go home: I learnt a lot during these two days and felt confident and more rested by the time we were home.

I have healed very well from the C section, I’m back to walking the dog everyday and I would say if anything I suffer more from the lack of sleep than the post surgery!

C sections are okay!

Alexandra is 1 month today and we feel like she’s been part of our life forever.