Birth story - Tehlia and baby Arla

**Trigger warning** - Previous miscarriages, unexplained infertility, increased risk due to high BMI and high fetal Dopplers, 2nd degree tear.

Getting pregnant/pregnancy

After two miscarriages, in early pregnancy a few years prior, my husband and I had been trying to get pregnant with no success. We had what they explained as ‘unexplained infertility’ but then we found out, in September, that I was pregnant after three years of trying.

I started out pregnancy extremely cautious but did feel better as the pregnancy progressed. I was briefly admitted into hospital with a suspected ectopic pregnancy at 9 weeks but turned out to be all fine. I unfortunately was extremely nauseous and sick after most meals for the first 26 weeks of my pregnancy, I really struggled with not ‘enjoying pregnancy’ after wanting it for so long. But after the sickness had passed I did start to feel better and enjoy most aspects of pregnancy. I was told I had raised dopplers at 20 weeks and then again at 32 so had an extra scan by foetal medicine doctors discharged me as baby was growing very well and only marginally raised. They basically said I could have a higher chance of pre eclampsia and was told to look out for the symptoms.

My community midwife was great as she knew I wanted a water birth. I had a bad consultation with an anaesthetist who said I would probably need to have an epidural as soon as I arrived at the hospital and because of my BMI would not be able to have any other than a ‘heavily medicated birth on the labour ward.’ However, my midwife said that I was more than allowed to have choices and if I didn’t want to do that then I could speak to the consultant midwife. In this way I was able to weigh up the risks myself and decided that Spires Midwife led unit was what was best for us.

Labour

The NHS calculated my original ’due date’ As the 7th of May from my 9 week scan this however got changed to the 9th at my 12 week scan and then measurements kept moving it further back at each scan. I saw the midwife at 39+3 and I had none of the ‘signs of labour’ so we discussed a sweep for the following week 12th of May and booked it in for me to decide if I wanted to take it later as there weren’t many appointments left. They also booked me in for an induction as there were so many babies due this month that the hospital needed to ‘pencil people in.’ Even then I was told it could possibly be moved back again, which I was fine with as I originally wanted it for 42 weeks but they booked it for 41+5.

I left the appointment with the midwife a little deflated as I was so uncomfortable and was sort of wishing the pregnancy to be done with.

The next day I woke up and was feeling much more comfortable. My pelvis pressure was much lighter and I just felt better in energy and mood wise. I told myself that I would definitely be going over my ‘due date’ and I would be better to just accept it as it comes. My husband was working all week so it was just me and our dog going on long walks and watching cheesy Rom Coms while bouncing on my ball thinking I needed to get the pelvis pressure back. Friday the 7th came and I went for a walk with a friend, ran into some more friends where everyone asked ‘ohh how you feeling?’ I told them that I had no signs yet and that it would probably be a few weeks still. I had dinner, and went to bed.

Saturday morning I woke up after having a very good nights sleep but an odd dream about doing a poo. I woke early at around 5:30 and wanting to let my husband sleep I went down stairs and bounced on my ball. I started to get what I now know to be surges but because of my dream I just thought I must have just needed to toilet and didn’t track them. I FaceTimed my mum in Australia and said to her that I had a funny tummy but didn’t want to get my hopes up at all as I had been feeling so good and slept so well. At this stage I was still convinced it was nothing but maybe Braxton Hicks (I hadn’t experienced any in the lead up) I spoke to mum for a while and they did start to build. At 6:45 I started to time them, they were about 7 mins apart lasting 40 seconds, I remember thinking that it wasn’t that bad but I could be in this stage for a long time so needed to try and rest. I got off the phone to mum and went up stairs to let Jack know something might be happening, I was very aware of not letting anyone get excited, as I still thought it could be a poo or, even worse, just nothing.

By 8:30 the app was telling me I was in established labour, although I kept saying I didn’t believe it to be true... Jack called the hospital as we wanted a Spires birth and wanted to see what the next stage was to do while I jumped in the shower to see if that helped ease the pain. They offered to get me assessed on the ward, as they didn’t currently have any midwives that could assess me at home, but made me aware that I could be sent home if I wasn’t far enough along.

Not wanting to do the 20 min drive twice while labouring I said I would rather stay at home and try have another shower. By this stage Jack was getting annoyed with me as he said I was very clearly in labour but also I thought of myself as a failure because I didn’t want to go into hospital and not be dilating (ridiculous thoughts). He called my mum and they both said I was being ridiculous and that it doesn’t matter if I have to return home at least I will know, so after that lecture I caved and got in the car. The journey is a bit of a blur but I remember really focusing on the music. Contractions did not slow down and I remember feeling like I didn’t want to sit down. We arrived and went straight up to the spires to be assessed, I’m so grateful that Jack was allowed in with me as I was contracting in the lift and corridor while they got an assessment room ready. I remember looking at the clock as we walked into the room and it was 11:30ish. We met Dawn, the midwife, and she did the exam, she said that I was definitely in labour and 3cm, so I had the option of staying in or going home. Staying in might have meant moving to the labour ward. I opted to go home and she said that’s fine and went to write up my paperwork, then things started to ramp up, all of a sudden I was contracting for longer with almost no rests in between.

When Dawn returned I asked if I could stay and she said of course and she started to time contractions and offered me pain relief of diamorphine. I accepted this as I really just wanted a bit of rest as I thought I would have a long wait ahead, there was thankfully no room on the labour ward so I was able to stay in the MLU.

After receiving the injection things get a little fuzzy, I remember sitting on the toilet and showering to try and relieve the pain, and complaining that Jack wasn’t pushing hard enough into my back when a contraction was there, he now tells me at times he felt like he was about to push me off the bed! By 2pm I had slipped into the red zone, Dawn said she would re examine at 4pm but I didn’t think I would make it to that. I couldn’t get comfortable, I felt like I couldn’t breathe through the contractions, I buzzed and asked if she would examine me sooner, but she said it was standard practice and that there would be no point because she predicted I would only be at 4 maybe 5cm. I agreed to speak to her in 20 mins time, and basically clock watched till then, when she didn’t come back at exactly 20 mins later I told Jack that I needed to have an epidural, I was also saying I needed to poo/I wanted to go home. Dawn came in (2:30) and examined me and she excitedly exclaimed that I was 8-9cm, I was so thankful as she had said ‘let’s get you on the gas and air and get a pool for you.’

I made my way down to the pool and got stripped off and hopped in feeling instant relief, it was much better compared to crawling around on the bed.

I was really enjoying the gas and air mouth piece but didn’t love the way gas and air was making me feel so sometimes found it easier to just bite down on the mouth piece than actually breath the air through it. I could feel her head moving down and bobbing back up and then my waters went, it was such a relief and thankfully they were clear, this gave me the urge to push more and more even though I wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing. Then I could very clearly feel her head, I reached down and told them that the head was out, the midwife gave me space as I pushed baby out with the next contraction, and I pulled her out of the water. Unfortunately the cord snapped when I did this, so she did not get the delayed cord clamping. Jack got to cut the cord and tell us she was a girl while I sat there holding her and basically in disbelief repeating, ‘oh my god I’ve had a baby’ for a few minutes. It was then that we FaceTimed my mum before getting out of the pool to have the injection, it was now 6pm. Due to my BMI this was advised and I had accepted to reduce the likelihood of a serve bleed.

I needed stitches so transferred to bed to pass the placenta and receive the stitches. In this time Jack had some skin to skin, I used the gas and air for the stitches which the midwife had informed me was a second degree but I was very surprised that it wasn’t worse considering the speed which she came out at. We then had more skin to skin where baby latched well and fed for the first time.

Dawn, the midwife, ended up talking to me afterwards about how she was sorry she didn’t take me seriously when I asked her to examine me, she explained first time mums normally dilate about a CM an hour, and that she didn’t want me to be disheartened if I hadn’t progressed after two hours. I was happy that she was kind enough to apologise and impressed that I was able to listen to my body, and do it without an epidural, which I always thought I would need before the PBC.

I couldn’t believe I was able to get my dream birth, and after thinking my pregnancy would be longer I was so happy with her arrival. Thank you PBC.