Birth story - Steph and baby Oliver

My partner and I discovered we were pregnant with our first child the day England went into lockdown. In the weeks that followed there was news of partners being banned from scans, women having to labour on their own and husbands being told to leave hospital an hour after their children were born. It was then I realised that I needed to educate myself about pregnancy and labour because there was a good chance I'd be going through a lot of important bits alone. This is when I discovered The Positive Birth Company Hypnobirthing book! While reading I really became interested in the idea of giving birth somewhere other than the hospital with all of its restrictions. I was able to be referred to my local community midwife team around week 18 and the care I received was incredible. For one, I saw the same midwife for 90% of my appointments and was able to build a real relationship with her (it turns out I teach her children!)
As excited as I was to deliver at home, and as prepared as I felt after reading the book and completing the digital pack with my partner, there was still the doubt in my mind that I would have to be sent to hospital for some reason - I'd get ill, baby would get stuck, I wouldn't be able to handle the pain. I just couldn't get rid of these little niggles.

On the Tuesday, I woke up around midnight with some period pains and noticed some spotting when I went to the toilet. These pains eventually faded away and I realised it wasn't quite labour. The next night, I woke again at midnight with strong surge-like pains. I tried to sleep through them but eventually had to get up. I began to time them using my Freya app but they were irregular and eventually passed by 7am. I was gutted! This then happened for the next 2 nights! Each night I was convinced it was finally happening, and then the contractions would pass at 7am and I would be exhausted and frustrated. By the fourth night at 2am, the surges were becoming much stronger. I took myself downstairs, rocking back and forward on my yoga ball and breathing through while timing on the Freya app. By the time my partner woke up at 6, I was in bits. I hadn't slept for 4 nights and felt like it was all pointless because it was never real labour! He used the tips he had learned from the digital pack to bring me down from the "red zone" and ran me a bath. The surges were much easier to manage once I got into the warm water and he continued to time the surges for me while breathing through them with me.

When he finally told me the app said it was time to call the midwife, I couldn't believe it! She arrived 45 minutes later at 8.30am and said I was 5cm dilated. I was so relieved; It was finally the real thing!

Now she had arrived we could finally start filling the birth pool and I could use the gas and air that had been sat in my dining room for weeks... except, she didn't have her breathing tube with her and would have to wait for another midwife to come on shift and drop it off, and then the boiler ran out of hot water! While the midwives and my partner boiled pans of water and knocked at neighbours to ask them to fill bowls, I continued to breathe through each surge and remind myself that each one was worth it now - they were bringing me closer to meeting my boy.

When I was told I could get in the pool I ran from the bathroom to the dining room - I have no idea how I managed to! The relief the second my foot touched the water was incredible. In very little time I began to feel the urge to push. This wasn't painful, just a powerful and involuntary feeling. With my partner and mum reminding me with each surge to breathe deeply, I was the calmest I had been throughout the labour. I even found myself singing and swaying along to the radio! After only 4.5 hours active labour, my baby boy Oliver was born on 27.11.20 into the pool with "Eye of the Tiger" playing on the radio in the background - not quite my carefully considered calming birth playlist, but even better! The midwife helped my partner to catch him and deliver him to my chest for instant skin to skin. We delayed cord clamping until it was white and then dad was able to cut. These are all little things that we would never have even known possible before reading the book but they made such a big difference to our birth experience.

After my months of niggling worries, my birth was the most empowering, beautiful, loving experience of my life. I've never felt so cared for and supported by those around me and I put this down to the advice my birth partners were able to gain from the digital pack. I've felt like an absolute wonder woman ever since and would recommend a home birth to anyone who is able to do so. Just make sure you have enough hot water in the boiler first!