I went into pregnancy pretty fearful of birth due to everything I’d seen in the media. The only friend who has had a baby and speaks positively about her birth had done hypnobirthing, and so it was on my radar as something to look into. I came across the PBC pretty quickly, raced through the free content on YouTube and then bought the digital pack.

From the very beginning of the course I began to feel much more relaxed and positive. I loved the science section, because getting to know what my body would do and why made me feel much more in control of what was to come. Within a couple of weeks I was genuinely excited to experience birth - an outlook that was a far way from where I’d begun!

I had a pretty good pregnancy, was low risk and looking forward to a water birth in the brand new MLU near my home. However, at 39 weeks I was experiencing itchy hands and feet and pain under my right rib. I went to labour ward to get a blood test and was diagnosed with obstetric cholestasis. My bile acid count was extremely high, and was posing a risk to baby. Using BRAIN I accepted their recommendation to induce ASAP, which was to be two days later.

Initially I was upset - I’d really loved the idea of a water birth with minimal intervention and had wanted to avoid induction at all costs, knowing it would be a highly medicated birth and could be a long and intense process. However, I knew that the hospital was the safest place for baby and I to be now, and although I’d no longer be able to have a water birth I could still have a positive experience. I rewatched the PBC induction videos, repacked the hospital bags and enjoyed some final R&R!

I was induced on Friday 11th Jan and had the first pessary at around 2pm. By 7pm surges had started and baby was monitored continuously due to the obstetric cholestasis. The pessary was hyper stimulating me and so there was talk of taking it out, but they said if I could cope with the pain and it didn’t increase they’d leave it in as long as they could. I was managing absolutely fine bouncing on a birth ball and with up breathing, and so the pessary stayed in and at 11pm my waters broke, flushing out the pessary with them. The surges ramped up a notch after my waters went and I had 1min+ long surges between 20 seconds and 2 mins apart. I was offered pethidine and diamorphine but was feeling good on my birth ball, upbreathing calmly and smelling a flannel with lavender and clary sage on. I was on my own from 10pm as partners weren’t supposed to be on the induction ward past then, which was much more challenging than the “pain”! At 1am the midwife allowed my husband to come back to the hospital to support me, which made a world of difference to me mentally. A good birth partner is essential! By 3.30am I was starting to get tired and accepted a bath. Unfortunately the surges slowed down in the bath and came to a stop around 6am as the hormone from the pessary had worn off and my body wasn’t ready to go into labour naturally. Baby was just too happy in there!

I got a couple of hours sleep and was then advised to walk and walk and walk to try and get labour going naturally. I knew if it started again I’d be able to potentially have a water birth and wouldn’t need the drip, and so I did 12,000 steps on that Saturday (according to Fitbit!), however nothing was happening and by the evening I knew I’d have to be put on the drip as my waters had gone nearly 24hrs before and baby needed to come out due to infection risk.

At 10pm I was taken to a delivery suite and the drip was started. My husband and mum put out my LED tea lights and fairy lights, turned off the main lights and sprayed the mio liquid yoga room spray around. Instantly the room felt much less medical and was a nice place to be! I had noise cancelling headphones and was able to get in the zone. I was very tired by this point from labouring Friday night and walking all day Sat, but felt calm and positive and ready to get going and get baby out. The drip was increased every half an hour, and surges increased along with this. The midwife wanted me to be having 4 every 10 mins for at least 4 hours, at which point she said she’d examine me. The drip was increased to a point where I was having 3.5 every 10 mins and I managed absolutely fine with my TENS machine and my essential oils. However, the midwife said although it was borderline it wasn’t quite enough and the drip needed to be increased. This is where things started to become difficult, as she was adamant it could only be turned up in multiples of 12 due to hospital protocol. But the next level up gave me rolling surges - there was no break at all between them and I was unable to breathe or bring myself back to green. After 45 mins of rolling surges I became very tense and I recognised all the signs of adrenaline - shaking hands! It’s amazing how much less painful surges are when you’re calm and breathing - as the minute I got tense and adrenaline was pumping it became unbearable. I had gas and air but struggled to use it properly. The midwife agreed to turn the drip down for ten mins so I could catch my breath but it would then need to be turned back up again. This was at around 4am. Using BRAIN I knew that I couldn’t cope with several hours of rolling surges - it felt unnatural and overwhelming compared to when there was a bit of time (even just ten seconds) to recover in between them and the gas and air wasn’t doing enough. I requested an early examination knowing that if I wasn’t close to delivery I’d want an epidural. I’d already decided I didn’t want pethidine or diamorphine as I wanted to be mentally “there” when he was born, and although I hadn’t wanted an epidural I knew that if I wasn’t very far along then it was what I needed at the time to have a rest. I was examined and was 3cm but my cervix was still very hard, and so I asked for the epidural.

It took about an hour to get the epidural administered, however there was an unlikely complication and the needle went ever so slightly too far causing a dural puncture. What followed was a bit of a blur - the puncture caused an instant blinding headache and I needed to be laid completely flat to try and stabilise me. I was laid on my side but that meant the epidural would only work 50% as it relies on gravity, but lying flat on my back was an issue for baby because of the weight on the main artery that goes to the uterus. The consultants were called in and I was laid on my back with towels under one hip to take the weight off the artery. The drip was turned off and I had fluids pushed through my IV to try and fix the puncture. It took four hours to get me stable, during which I had no contractions (I was being monitored continuously) and the epidural took effect. The dural puncture meant it wasn’t a comfortable four hours but it was a bit of rest compared to the rolling surges! Even with the dural puncture I have no regrets about having the epidural as it was exactly what I needed at the time. Once I was stable the consultants requested to examine me to decide what the safest delivery would be for me and baby taking into account the time since my waters broke and the dural puncture. To everyone’s amazement (because I hadn’t had a single contraction since the drip was turned off) I was at 10cm and baby was +1 engaged. All I had needed to do was relax!! The drip was turned back on at the lowest level for an hour, during which time the epidural wore off enough so that I could feel the surges and begin to push him out naturally.

It took 30 mins to push him out, and I loved every minute of it. I felt his head moving down and back up again, and worked with my body to meet my boy. The midwife coached me to make sure I didn’t damage myself due to being more numb than normal from the epidural, and she was brilliant. Because his cord was around his neck twice, when he was close to being born his heart rate didn’t recover fast enough. At this point the midwives said that he’d need to be born with the next push, and as I was likely a couple of pushes away they’d prep for an episiotomy and forceps. As soon as I saw the tray of tools for the episiotomy I thought no thanks, I’m getting him out myself! I pushed for my life and that was all it took. He was born on Sunday 13th at 10.49am. We had delayed cord clamping (until it stopped pulsing) and over an hour of skin to skin. I had three small internal grazes and one second degree tear that required a few stitches, but recovery has been absolutely fine and I’ve been in less pain post natally than I was at the end of pregnancy!

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Although my birth was highly medicated and a little bit complicated, the PBC digital pack helped with every step. I managed to let go of what I couldn’t control and take charge of what I could. Despite the complications I never once felt like it was traumatic - the things that were most important to me - feeling him be born, skin to skin and establishing breastfeeding - all went really well.

Big thanks to Siobhan and the PBC team - without the digital pack I think I’d have been really mentally affected by my birth. Instead I feel positive and have had a wonderful post natal experience. I’d do it all again tomorrow, complications and all!

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