Birth story - Sophia and baby Niko

*Trigger warning* - Use of the word contractions

A Positive Pandemic Birth Story

I’m a first time mum and this is my positive vaginal birth story during the COVID-19 pandemic, in a foreign country. My birth certainly didn’t go exactly how I had planned or imagined it, but every little bit of it was amazing and I would do it all again in a heartbeat!

I am a UK expat teacher living in Hong Kong- a country that have handled the pandemic very well, but not without sacrifices. The rules here have been SUPER strict even though the cases have been relatively low. It only started being allowed for birth partners to accompany mothers during labour about 6 weeks before my daughter was born. For months prior to this I was dreading that I would have to labour completely alone and that my husband would not witness the birth of our first baby! So I got myself mentally prepared... I read an amazing book called The Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill (which I would highly recommend to everybody) even if you are a second time mum but you did not enjoy your first birth or are feeling anxious about anything. I watched the hypo-birthing videos (The Positive Birth Company) by Siobhan Miller and read positive birth stories online. I downloaded the Freya app and listened to the positive birth meditations and affirmations before bed every night. I also listened to The Positive Birth Story podcast, hosted by Asa Hostein.

I had a birthing ball, which helped me during pregnancy and was intended for labour but I actually hated using it during contractions (who would have known?!) and I bought a TENS machine too.. which I used (with instruction from my acupuncturist) to try to induce my labour naturally, but again never actually used it during my labour. Preparation is key! A positive mindset is key! If you go into birth feeling confident, then you will be able to overcome any hurdle you are faced with and come out feeling like you rule the world. And you SHOULD feel confident because you have totally GOT THIS! Our bodies were designed for this! Your baby knows how and when to be born. My daughter was born on her due date (21.2.21) at 10:42pm weighing 6lb 10oz.

I started getting contractions at 4:30 pm on Saturday 20th. I had been having Braxton Hicks for weeks prior to this and I really wasn’t sure if I would know the difference when I started actual contractions- but I knew straight away. For me, the Braxton Hicks had always just felt like a painless tightening in my belly and sometimes my bump would go a funny shape and look a bit contorted. My actual contractions felt like low down, mild period pains. They came and left me every now and again but they lasted long enough to make me think hello?! Is this labour..?? I didn’t say anything to my hubby just yet though as I didn’t want him to get excited or stressed as I was worried he would project onto me and that might make my contractions stop. Side note: I had been dying for my baby to come on her due date as I thought 21.2.21 was such a cool birthday. So when I started feeling contractions I had a good feeling. My husband is a teacher too and he had just had 10 days off school for Chinese New Year, and he was due back at work the next day. We had been wishfully thinking baby might come early so my hubby could have had more time at home with us both over the holiday but also had joked saying it’s Sod’s Law she will arrive the day before he was due back at work. Hey- babies will be come when they want to come!

Anyway, I started making a mental note of the timings and my contractions were quite regular... roughly every 10 mins. So I told my husband I thought I was in labour and started timing them on my phone using an app. In Hong Kong (HK) they say to try and go into hospital when you are in “active labour” (3cm dilated) because here you have to be at least 3cm dilated before they will put you in the labour ward (where birth partners are allowed to come in). Before 3cm you have to stay on the antenatal ward, and no birth partners are allowed into this ward (this is normal practice, not just due to COVID) so I would only be able to see my husband if I went out into the corridor. During this time I rocked on my birthing ball a bit and we went for a walk on the water front near our flat. It was dark and quiet by then- February in HK is certainly not cold, just mild- and it was really peaceful to walk and have some fresh air. At this point I was still able to talk during contractions, but had to take a little pause while walking every time one came. It felt so surreal (and lovely) to think this might be the last time that me and my husband did this walk alone!

After timing on my app for a good few hours, we noted I was having 3 contractions in 10 mins and they were lasting about 30-45 seconds each time. We only live 20 mins drive from the hospital but in Hong Kong once you are admitted they don’t let you leave the hospital again until after your baby has arrived. So we wanted to make sure this was active labour! When we got back to the flat the contractions were getting stronger and the birth ball wasn’t helping in any way. I found it much more comfortable to lean over a dining room chair and rock from 1 foot to the other during a contraction. I had never heard of or seen anybody doing that- it’s just what my body told me to do. This is what they mean when they say you can prepare for birth but you can’t plan it. You don’t really know what you will need until you’re in the moment- so have an open mind at all times and listen to your body! This is coming from me... a very controlling person who likes to have everything in life planned out and organised. I had my hospital bag packed since week 30, no lies! Oh and I also had about 5 poos! This is another sign that labour is real! Your bowels open riiiiight up!!

We got to hospital around 11pm (I can’t really remember the exact times) and I was thinking this has GOT to be active labour. I could no longer talk or walk during a contraction. I had tried to sleep a little but they were too close together to let me get any sleep. The taxi ride was horrendous, I’m not going to lie. I put on my eye mask to block out any bright street lights and I had one headphone in listening to a chilled out playlist I had put together for labour. I didn’t actually listen to any music again after the taxi ride. Every tiny bump in the road felt like a huge jerk and I couldn’t rock through my contractions. They checked me in, did a COVID test, then checked my cervix... I was only 1cm. I was really disheartened and knew we still had a long night ahead of us... but hey, at least we had got the taxi ride over with and I could relax about not giving birth on the kitchen floor!

On my birth plan I had said I wanted to do everything naturally. No epidural, no episiotomy, no artificial rupture of membranes (ARM), no induction. I wanted to use my breathing techniques, the birth ball, TENS machine, aromatherapy and maybeeeee a little gas & air if needed! Well, as I said- I hated the birth ball. I had used it loads during my pregnancy at home and heard so many great techniques for helping ease pain and back labour. My baby was sunny side up for a few weeks up until her birth, and I did have back labour, but she must have turned around during labour as my back contractions actually stopped at some point and she came out facing my bum! (She knew what to do!) But after using it for about 6 minutes in the hospital I decided it wasn’t for me. I also asked to use the hospital’s TENS machine (they have a strict policy they do not let you use your own) but it wasn’t available. So, once again, make a note of your birth preferences, but stay flexible and don’t panic if your plan needs to change or you want to change tactics.

I stayed 1cm for ages. I had the serious shits but found it quite comfortable to sit a lot of my contractions out on the toilet, using the bars on the walls to rock forward n back. I think I went for a poo 11 times- all during my latent phase- which was actually great coz it meant I didn’t have anything left in me to poo out when it came to the pushing part! Not that it would have mattered anyway. My contractions were all over the place. At one point I genuinely thought my baby had changed her mind because it was a full 17 minutes with no contraction! Then they would be 3 mins apart, then 6, then 1 minute... I didn’t know what was going on but I wasn’t concerned. I just felt really focussed and determined that I was going to get this baby out safely- however long it may take. I really went into myself. I spent a lot of time lying on my side in the hospital bed, drifting in and out of sleep, with a pillow folded in half in between my knees. Every time I had a contraction I rocked back and forward through it, holding onto the bed bars, and concentrated on my breathing. I couldn’t count my breaths in and out for the specific times I had learned and practised, but my body just knew how to breath me through the pain. I really let go and learnt to just trust my body. Every so often I would go out to the corridor and walk some laps up and down with my husband, bending over, leaning on the wall and rocking from side to side during a contraction. It’s amazing how you can plan your methods of coping with pain down to a T, but at the end of the day your body will tell YOU how you need to cope, not you telling your body.

My waters broke on their own at 3:30pm on Sunday. It felt like a water balloon had popped and there was a huge gush of water all over the bed! It must have broken in bits and bobs though as two more times when I was stood out in the corridor with my husband did I have more gushes. The midwife checked my cervix again then, and I was STILL only 2cm! When your waters break in HK (in the UK they give you 24 hrs) they only give you 12 hrs max before induction. The Dr came to chat to me about this... I said I didn’t want to be induced at 12 hours unless there was a problem. They were monitoring my BP and my baby’s heart rate intermittently the whole time too. Once my waters broke they started monitoring my temperature as well, incase it got too high (which can be a sign of infection). Now I started to feel a bit anxious for baby to get a move on at this point. I knew we had a bit of a time limit and they might push me for an induction if my temperature went up. Sure enough... it did.

At around Sunday 8pm they told me I had a low grade fever and so they checked my cervix again and I was STILL only 2.5cm. The Dr came to speak to me a little while later and said that due to my fever and my rising BP, they needed to really consider induction soon as I was not progressing well on my own and it was not safe for my baby. As I was not making good enough progress on my own, they were concerned it could still be a while before I was in active labour. Even though induction was the last thing I had wanted, I agreed. At this point I was absolutely shattered and started thinking that if I still had a long way to go and I let myself get too tired, then I wouldn’t have the energy to be able to push my baby out, and I might end up having an emergency c-section. The Dr also warned me that induction can get painful quite fast, so he advised me to consider the epidural, even though it would mean I needed to lie flat on my back as in Hong Kong they don’t offer the “walking epidural”. I was a bit worried as I had read you’re more likely to need intervention from epidurals, but also you can only request it a while before you are at the “pushing” stage because the epidural won’t kick in in time. If you ask for any meds (such as pethidine/ diamorphine) too late then they don’t give them to you because it’s too close to the actual birth and it can end up harming the baby’s breathing.

So here is the amazing thing... about 10 mins after I had agreed to the induction, we were getting ready to go down to the labour ward (for the induction) and the midwives were helping me sort my stuff out, packing my suitcase up and getting me ready to go. All of a sudden I felt like I had a massive burst of adrenaline (like I had just snorted a line of coke or something) and I snapped out of my “zone” completely! I had a MASSIVE contraction and felt a huge urge to push... it was IMPOSSIBLE to stop! Obviously if you’re not 10cm dilated and you push before you’re cervix is ready then you can rip your cervix, so I was really scared as I had just been told I was only 2.5cm. I tried SO hard not to push and I was screaming at the midwife IM GONNA SHIT MYSELF, I NEED TO PUSH!!!!! Looking back now, that was definitely my transitional stage... I was freaking right out. Even though I had prepared for the transitional stage and knew I shouldn’t panic, it was impossible not to! The midwife was so chilled out- “No, no- you okay missy. Come now- get in the wheelchair!” I was thinking OMG HOW?? I CAN’T MOVE WOMAN!!! After that contraction finished they helped me up and I got in the wheelchair and we quickly went down to the labour ward where my husband could finally come in with me! Yay!

They took ages to let him in as they were debating whether his COVID test was “in date” as it had gone past the required 72 hours due to us being in the hospital for around 29 hours already! Arghh to technicalities!!!!! During the time they were faffing on discussing this, I had another massive “pushing” contraction and I was loudly asking (not quite shouting) the midwives to check my cervix as I was still worried I wasn’t dilated enough to push. They had me in stirrups (not my chosen position) and the midwife told me to push a little so she could look and see... I pushed ever so slightly and she looked and said she could see my baby’s hair! This was a very surreal moment! I think this was the first time I really believed my baby was actually coming! 2 midwives checked my cervix (to be sure) and both confirmed I was 10cm. Literally within less than 1 hour I’d gone from needing to be induced due to “failure to progress” to fully blown 10cm and ready!!! It’s as if my baby girl had her own agenda and she was like okay... now I’ll help you out then then, mama! At this point they finally let my husband in... of course he managed to smash his head off the light (a total Ross from Friends moment) which actually made me LOL at the time.

I kept asking the midwives to let me go on all fours, but they said because my baby’s heart rate wasn’t great they wanted me sat up in the stirrups so they could see and help. (They used their hands to manoeuvre my baby’s head a lot on her way out.) They also love an episiotomy in Hong Kong to speed things up and this is obviously more ideal when they can get a good look! So again, not the plan, but sat upright with my legs in stirrups was how I ended up giving birth. It wasn’t my first choice, but it was totally fine- and actually it meant that my husband also got to FULLY watch our daughter being born, which he describes as simultaneously the grossest and most beautiful thing he has ever seen! And thanks to the huge (reflective) face shields the midwife had to wear because of COVID... so did I!!! 😁

It was then that the midwives told me my contractions had started slowing down (about 5 mins apart again) so they had to put me on a drip of syntocinon to get them to become more regular. They also at some point did an episiotomy- I have no idea when this was, I barely remember agreeing to it to be honest, but it certainly didn’t hurt! I had had 0 pain relief all day, as I hadn’t been in “active labour.” I had asked for Panadol earlier on and the midwife basically laughed at me and said “that will do nothing.” So I ended up doing 30 hrs of labour with 0 pain relief. I did ask for gas & air but they wouldn’t let me use it to push because my baby’s heart rate wasn’t steady so they needed my full focus and force to get her out asap.

The midwives were so amazing. Despite a slight language barrier (and HK medical staff are not renowned for their bedside manner) they were super! I remember my main midwife- who wouldn’t allow the gas & air- kindly, but very sternly, saying to me “look Mummy, baby heart rate not good- next contraction you need to BEAR DOWN YOUR BABY!!!” She made me feel so powerful and even though lots of things so far hadn’t gone as I thought, hoped or planned, this was MY birth and I was the one getting this tiny human out into the world safely! After her little head was out (I totally see why they call it the ring of fire now!) her whole body just slipped out afterwards like a big jellyfish and they pulled her out and onto my chest straight away and left her there for delayed cord clamping. I remember staring at the top of her head and then looking down at her little face... nobody had announced if she was a girl or a boy yet! My husband was staring at her, absolutely buzzing, and after a few seconds I said to him “what is it???” The nurses turned her around and my husband said “It’s a girl! It’s our little Niko!”

The thing I found so strange was that I didn’t know if I loved her immediately. That sounds awful but I was in a bit of shock since the last part of my labour had been so fast and I think, especially after experiencing a miscarriage prior to this pregnancy, the whole 9 months I never quite let myself 100% believe my baby would be here safely, until she was here. Those first little cries were just instant relief for me but it wasn’t until they had taken her to check her breathing etc. then brought her back to me that it sunk in and I felt- wow this is MY BABY 😍 and then our bond started to grow.

I had no pain relief at all during labour... until the stitches! I think the stitches were worse than the pushing part though, no joke. Even though I had an episiotomy I still ended up with a 2nd degree labia tear too. I was literally off my tits on the gas & air after the stitches because I was breathing it in so hard!

I really hope all you preggos out there get the birth you want- even if it’s not the birth you plan! Mine wasn’t how I pictured it at all but I loved every second! (Okay, apart from the stitches!) I would certainly advise listening/reading lots of positive birth stories before you go into labour. It totally puts you in a different mindset regarding birth and pain. There wasn’t any part of me that felt scared. This probably doesn’t make much sense but I felt pain but it didn’t hurt! Almost a bit like an outer body experience. I knew that I could feel pain, but it didn’t bother me. And I don’t have a high pain threshold!!! Good luck to all you beautiful, strong mamas! Remember... YOU GOT THIS!!! 💖