Birth story - Sadie and baby girl

I delivered my daughter at the hospital with no pain medication. As much as I tried to stay away from induction and especially Pitocin, it didn’t quite go to plan- but it was still surreal and beautiful!

Our firstborn had a serious ABO incompatibility which kept him in the NICU for the first week of his life, so we felt that a hospital birth was necessary to have our daughter’s blood tested immediately after birth to make sure she didn’t have the same issue.

I experienced preterm labor for a while before my daughter came. With both pregnancies I had intense Braxton Hicks for months, especially for the last few weeks of my pregnancy. I lost my mucus plug many times, the first being 3 weeks before she came. So, my advice is to just try your best to remain patient and trust your body!

My water broke at 1:30am on 11/11 with a trickle. It wasn’t too much so I ignored it and fell back asleep (I had the same experience a couple weeks prior but it was just pee 😬). Then 3am rolls around and it happened again, but a little more. I got up to use the restroom and more dripped down my leg and I knew then it was definitely my waters! I stayed calm and was going back to bed but first called the hospital to ask if I needed to come in. They said yes, but I felt that everything was fine and I’d be okay to just return to sleep. They asked me to check with my Dr. directly- so I did. She said if I was feeling the baby move, I was okay to stay at home. So I laid back down and become anxious because I hadn’t felt her move recently. I couldn’t relax, so I decided that it was best to just go check and make sure her heart rate was fine (thought it would be a quick hospital visit). My parents were already staying at our house for the weekend for a family event (worked out perfectly) and so my husband and I left my parents with our toddler.

Arrived at the hospital around 3:40am and the nurses put the monitors on me to check baby’s heart rate. Her heart rate was a little slow, so I they monitored for an hr. While I was there, my waters broke more dramatically and continued to leak. An hour later, they did different things to get her to wake up or move around which worked and then they had to monitor me for another hour. My OB came in and told me that she was required to tell me that she felt it was best for me to stay at the hospital due to a risk of infection, even though I wasn’t contracting. The way she said it, I knew she legally had to say that, but I could tell she was okay if I went home and labored there for a while. So, we made the decision to go home.

We spent the morning at home, me bouncing on the ball and going on a long, freezing walk with my mom. I still wasn’t contracting consistently and wasn’t in much pain at all. I started to get nervous that I wasn’t going to go into active labor soon, and they’d want to give me Pitocin or worse- a C-section at the 24 hr mark. But, I remembered to stay calm and trust my body. I showered, grabbed a few things and my husband and I said goodbye to our son (more emotional than I expected it to be!). We stopped to grab some food, but we both had no appetite. Arrived at the hospital at 11:15am or so, got checked in and met the nurses on shift.

Luckily the hospital had one wireless monitor on the floor, and I got it (stoked!). I was told that they would watch my contractions for a few hours and if I wasn’t progressing, we would discuss Pitocin. As if my mind told my body it was go-time, my contractions started becoming consistent and stronger. I set up the room how I had envisioned it (tea lights, lavender oil in my diffuser, and a mini speaker playing my music I had chosen for the birth). This helped me create my own space and really get into the “zone”.

The two people I chose to have there with me were my husband and my sister (who is also a birth videographer). We hung out for a couple hours, chatting and watching the surges come and go. I was feeling them, but they weren’t too bad and I was using my up-breathing through each one. They checked my cervix to make sure I was progressing and I was at about a 5. This was good news because I had come in at 4.5, so my nurse was really positive and supportive that I was progressing on my own.

As time progressed, my surges became stronger, and I noticed that they would slow or even stop if I ever sat down. This included bouncing on the ball or even kneeling on the bed. So I continued to stand and rock, to keep the surges coming because I really didn’t want to be induced. I tried watching a movie, but I just couldn’t pay attention to it.

Around 6pm, I agreed to have my cervix checked. That was when my OB came in and talked with me about Pitocin. I felt sad and disappointed that my body wasn’t progressing quite as quickly as I had hoped. I let my OB know that I wasn’t quite ready for Pitocin and that I wanted to give my body another hour or two to see if I could progress anymore- and if I was still at a 6, I would talk with her again.

My husband, sister and I then ordered some food and I had a few chicken nuggets. I had told my nurse that I was eating because I felt myself getting weaker and tired, I needed something to help me. She nodded, but I could see that she didn’t think was a good idea. So, we ate our small dinner and I continued to stand, rocking back and forth. 7:30pm rolls around, and my OB checks me- still at a 6. This is when I felt myself start to lose that calmness I had created. I felt defeated and confused, it was my lowest point in my labor. I was exhausted- I’d been on my feet since basically 1:30am without even sitting because my surges slowed when I did. I spoke with my husband and sister about what they thought and they helped me decide that Pitocin was what needed to happen at that point. We were getting closer to the 24hr mark.

The nurse started my Pitocin around 7:40pm, the smallest dosage (which I made sure of quite a few times). Getting the Pitocin was hard for me mentally because my nurse informed me that I was no longer allowed to get an epidural because I had just had dinner. I had talked to so many women that have told me to avoid the Pitocin because it makes it way harder. I knew I wanted to have my baby naturally, but knowing that the epidural was no longer an option, I panicked. I started quietly crying and could feel my control slipping, but I had an amazing support team who literally held my hands and reminded me how strong I was, and how I was more than capable.

The moment the Pitocin kicked in, it was a whole new ballgame! Almost immediately my surges dramatically intensified and I started to really concentrate on my up-breathing. I loved using the breathing to keep me grounded and just concentrate on my breath. Of course, right when they gave me the Pitocin, the wireless monitor I had been using stopped working and they had to put the normal ones on me- meaning I couldn’t move about the room. I felt most comfortable rolling onto my left side and holding onto the side of the bed.

An hour passed by, and I’ll be honest- I was struggling with the intensity of the surges. I wish I could say I stayed calm and painless, but I didn’t- and that’s okay! I seemed to moan/growl through each surge and my husband was sitting by my side, counting with me and holding my hand (more like I was squeezing the life out of his😬).

The nurse wanted to check my again, and I agreed. I shouldn’t have, because I was only at a 6.5! I freaked out a bit and started crying again because I couldn’t believe that I was still only dilated a half a cm more, and it was so much more painful! I remember telling my husband “I can’t do this!” Over and over and he grabbed my face and said “You already ARE doing this! You’re doing amazing!” He was a lifesaver. As well as my sister, who tickled my arms and counter-pressured my hips. So, I closed my eyes and went back to me breathing. My favorite thing my husband would say was “get back to green” after each surge. It really helped me relax my body and mind so that I would welcome the next one as best I could!

Shortly after getting checked, I found that things started changing. I found myself bearing down without trying, and I started “mooing”! I told my OB that I felt like I need to push. She quickly looked down and told me not to because I was only at a 7. I thought she was crazy because there was no way I could really stop my body from doing it. A few more surges and I told her again, “I’m pushing!” She put on her gloves and said “okay! If you feel that way, then go with it!”. I think I started down-breathing but honestly, it was a bit of a blur.

I decided to roll more on my back (if felt right at the time- even though I originally thought I’d try a different position). I brought my knees up, and my chin down and let my body do it’s thing! I pushed with each surge (not really coached in doing so- it just felt right). I remember the first push felt really odd and honestly, painful. Because I was nervous and the sensation was so intense and different, it scared me. My OB must’ve sensed my hesitation because she told me that this was okay, that my baby was almost here. In that moment, I remembered everything I had prepared for and I somehow embraced the pain. I know it sounds crazy, but I thought about meeting my daughter and I knew I could do it. I closed my eyes, and just went with what I was feeling- I felt the “ring of fire” and an immense pressure, but I embraced it and listened to my body as I pushed. Only a few pushes later, our daughter was born into this world bright-eyed and pink! She was placed on my stomach as we allowed the blood to finish pumping from her cord. She was warm and beautiful and everything I had dreamed about- and it was all so worth it!

My husband cut the cord and my 2nd degree tear (which I never specifically felt) was stitched up, I was able to fully concentrate on my baby and soak it all in. We spent the “Golden Hour” nursing and cuddling, looking at her fingers and toes and staring into her slow-blinking eyes. There’s nothing quite like a fresh baby and their warm, naked bodies. My husband then had some skin-to-skin time and then we weighed and measured our girl. 6lbs 12oz 18.5” long - she was perfect. My husband and I had not agreed on names the entire pregnancy but in that moment, her named seemed clear to us.

My delivery wasn’t what I thought it was going to be, and I had my share of panicked moments and some nerves, but I also had many beautiful, peaceful moments and I also gained a new appreciation for my body and what I am capable of. Thank you Siobhan for this beautiful program, I truly appreciate and I still use the up-breathing now when I’m trying to relax! I learned a lot about myself through this program and experience of birthing my daughter, and I’m really grateful for the experience!