Birth story - Robyn and baby Shalev

As soon as I found out I was pregnant I was determined to prepare for birth, like I would for any other momentous and potentially challenging event. My focus was on learning the physiology as much as possible rather than what colour to paint the nursery walls! (I left that to my husband). I didn’t want an unnecessary traumatic event in my life.

I was lucky enough to be gifted, ‘The Positive Birth book,’ by Milli Hill.

I also read ‘Hypnobirthing: Practical Ways to Make Your Birth Better’ by Siobhan Miller

And I Followed The Positive Birth Company on Instagram.

I listened to audiobook & MP3 most days, ‘Your Baby Your Birth,’ by Hollie de Cruz. The affirmations became very comforting and I would often fall asleep to the guided meditation. I listened to the PBC podcast interview on The Nurture Nest.

It really started to open my eyes to the conveyor belt of interventions that maternity services put forward. I work in the NHS as a Pharmacy Technician and could relate to the targets and stats NHS managers attach to services.

My best friend had also had a traumatic first birth and warned me against accepting any pethidine straight away! She said it, “Just undermines the belief in yourself.”

I really listened to experienced friends who have birthed. My best/common question was, “how do you know when to push?” They all reassured me I would know and so did the resources above. The urge to push into my bottom did come after 1.5 hours and I sure did.

It took nearly 3 years to conceive baby Shalev, and subsequently it only happened through NHS IUI intervention after a very early pregnancy loss.

My pregnancy was a dream including no sickness. I was relaxed throughout and stayed active.

I completed NHS breastfeeding classes with the hospital, NCT & free Blossom online courses. Including yoga and relaxation. As recommended by the hospital I started colostrum harvesting at 38 weeks which I believe definitely brought on the labour and increased my oxytocin.

My hospital had set my induction “date” by saying I couldn’t go to birth centre if I went over 42 weeks. So I needed to be induced on 8th of December at 41 + 4 days.

Even though my 12 week scan put me 4 days ahead of my IUI date and date of last period! Which is crazy as we knew exactly when he was conceived. I was not that big or uncomfortable and definitely could carry this baby beyond 42 weeks! I had also measured small twice and been given extra scans, but I was confident this baby was fine and he would end up being about 7 to 7.5lbs. Correct final weight 7lbs 2oz

So here goes:

On Sunday 28th of November - the 1st night of Hanukkah - I noticed maybe I lost a bit of liquid (but just assumed it was wee or discharge!)

The next morning I saw it again but still the penny didn’t drop. After walking the dog with a family friend, I mentioned the drip and she said the same thing happened with her 2nd child exactly 32 years previously and to get it checked out.

Once home, and after eating a large lunch including cookie dough & ice cream, a bit more liquid emerged. I phoned triage and they said to come in urgently so they could check if it was my waters as there could be risk of infection with no contractions. Plus I was approaching the 24 hours mark. Once in triage I was leaking more so it was confirmed without a vaginal examination. I was told if I did not start contracting naturally that they would start me on a synocotin IV at 6pm on the labour ward. I was told it was likely to be “rapid as the baby must be born asap due to risk of infection” They also said I needed IV antibodies too, as a prophylactic dose. But really my body was just doing it’s thing it’s way.

Due to my hyponobirthing preparation I was calm & happy and knew that my labour had started naturally & that my hormones must be at the right levels. As we drove home my husband picked up his prescription and I had a light surge in the car.

Once home I noticed my bloody show and my contractions started properly. I was in my comfortable safe space and the need to empty my bowels started. My husband dropped food around for dog. I continued walking around the house breathing 4 in 8 out. Plus the affirmations naturally sprung into mind.

At this point I thought I best record the surges I recorded 7 contractions within 20 minutes all over a minute each.

I still was not in a rush to get back to the hospital and we stopped at the shop for Hairbo. At this point I could not record my surges and just had to focus on the affirmations and breathing. Heading down the A10 it continued to gather intensity with only 30 second rest break between each one.

Even though I have worked at my hospital for 7 years I have never driven to the maternity part of the hospital. So we drove around a few times, before sneaking through the loading bay entrance!

My husband dropped me off and I had another surge in the toilet. Once in triage they said they would start the drip shortly. I explained I didn’t think it was necessary!

I had another contraction in the toilet in triage and was taken to birth centre for an assessment.

The two on duty midwifes straight away put me ease and calmed the situation and allowed me space, they followed the ethos of hyponobirthing.

They offered me pain relief - my first response was to say no as my friend had told me the out on control feeling that pethidine gave her. I needed to know where things were at first and I wanted to stay in control. They then offered me gas and air. My husband encouraged me to have it, it was something I was familiar with already. And as soon as I inhaled that I knew I could use it to regulate my breathing even further. I knew I could do this and it would really take the edge off.

I had and internal examination and I remember seeing the midwifes hand come out of my vagina looking really open but I told myself I was likely to be 2 or 3 cm dilated best case scenario. But, she looked at me and told me I was about 9 cm! Having read and understood the different stages of labour I knew I was heading in the right direction and knew with confidence I could do this!

Due to the infection risk I still needed IV antibiotics via my hand as oral was not a option. This was annoying and took several attempts to connect as surges were coming quick.

We moved room again and I clung to the gas & air. I positioned myself on the bed on all fours and remembered the birthing positions taught and in NCT. Use gravity was all I could think. Within minutes of being in that room I felt the need to push just like described by my female friends. With each surge I pushed into my bottom as much as possible. I was really focused on letting my friend in New Zealand know that I was in labour so between contractions we FaceTime and that was when I got a bit emotional she told me to give it my all. The pushing stage was about 1.5 hours, and beside me was my husband telling me to channel into the push rather than yell. (Although I think he was repeating what the midwife said).

The midwives changed at 8 pm and I was worried I’d lose my momentum but I stayed focused.

I remembered sometimes you can have a wobble at this point. And keeping with Hypnobirthing I didn’t ask what point I was at. I just stayed with my body and listened to what it was telling me to do. Once I felt the ring of Fire I knew it was getting closer, it kinda felt good. The midwife tried to guide me to push slowly to avoid tearing but to be honest the sensation was more manageable. A vagina is definitely designed for this to occur and I wasn’t really bothered about tearing. My haemorrhoids have taken longer to heal!

I’m pleased my husband also didn’t really let me know where things were at and stayed beside me helping with the breathing control. Within seconds I felt the swish of his body through me. It was amazing and I knew straight away he was fine. A deep purple colour.

We were not even as emotional as I thought we would be. We both just felt relieved and just so happy to have Shalev here. Passing the placenta was more boring than anything else. By that time I was too preoccupied with his skin to skin to the notice anything. My husband cut the cord, I am resus negative so delaying the cord clamp was not really an option.

I had a bit of gas here for the stitches and started expressing and giving him colostrum.

Without doing all this preparation I know I would not have been in a position to be confident and could’ve got scared at any point. I hope more woman have faith in their bodies and are allowed to have a amazing experience. We seem to be in conflict a little with some aspects of the maternity services. I am so thankful for how well everything went and how I was able to then concentrate fully on being a new mum and establish breastfeeding.

I feel like I’ve given my son and myself the best start possible and just wanted to share it with anyone who will listen I’m so proud of myself.

Hyponobirthing has given me the best start to motherhood beyond just the birth. l’m a, “calm confident mother,” often pops into my head.

A lot of friends say I was lucky but I know it was being educated and knowledgeable that allowed me to have this positive story. I highly recommend expecting mothers to take time to prepare and educate themselves for this experience as I feel knowledge is key and has been the reason for this positive experience

Thanks again for your book & Instagram page you are really helping women and their babies.