Birth story - Rebecca and baby Luca

*Trigger warning* - mild polyhydramnios, stitches

Pregnancy-

I was very fortunate to have a straight forward, healthy pregnancy. What I did struggle with was my midwife appointments. I often felt unheard or unimportant. Two things in our second trimester that helped change our experience was hiring a doula and doing the PBC hypnobirthing course. I went from feeling dismissed to being empowered, and it empowered my husband too. Together we suddenly felt confident and braver.

Final weeks of pregnancy-

In the last few weeks of my pregnancy I popped in for monitoring on 2 occasions. First was when my grandfather was taken into hospital for a very tricky surgery and in my heart I knew he wasn’t going to survive and I was very emotional (plus had worked a long day) and I just couldn’t bat away the anxiety of my baby maybe not having wriggled exactly how I wanted them to. So we went in to be checked and absolutely everything was perfect no problems.

Second time was on my EDD, my husband had had to go away for work, I was worrying about everything (unnecessarily concerned about the house, dog, people messaging for baby updates, etc) and just wanted the reassurance baby was okay. This trip for monitoring turned out to be a mission- hours and hours later, monitoring and a scan later I was told I couldn’t have a homebirth as I had now come in twice for “reduced fetal movements” and they were concerned I may have mild polyhydromios with an AFI of 24.1cm (our trust counting mild from 24cm, NICE guidelines and RCOG counting from 25cm/28cm). There was no one available to review my case that day so I needed to return the following day. This appointment was as much a disaster- hours and hours again, 2 brief conversations with 2 different doctors but neither coming to a conclusion. I was baffled as they were both pushing for an induction (each suggestion a different induction method) then and there and weren’t open to talking about alternatives (thank you BRAIN). It was a whirlwind- I went from wanting an unmedicated, calm, water birth to asking for a planned c-section as induction did not appeal to me at all. I took a step back, made no decision after the second appointment and was asked to return a 3rd time in the next day or two.

I arrived for this next appointment having spent the day before sitting calmly with PBC notes and I slowly and calmly researched my options according to evidenced based research and recognised standards of practice. I was 100% calmer than the days before, I’d taken time to reflect on the choices I’d been offered (or not offered) and my husband and I were ready to advocate for ourselves (and our doula was an amazing supporter in this). We made a case for our homebirth, for declining induction, asking for alternative options (ie repeat scan not vaginal examinations/belly measurements) and finally we felt heard as I had research to back up every request. So to sum up a long story we were “released” to continue with the birth we’d planned for.

Labour-

So, after what felt like the longest week after all the previously mentioned appointments and then follow up calls from midwives, at 41+1 weeks we attended a community midwife appointment and I asked for a sweep (not in our birth plan but I wanted to know that I was “on my way” and partly wanted some reassurance that there was some progress happening as I’d been having strong twinges for a day and a bit and had had some bloody show). Sweep felt like nothing to me, I was later told that because my cervix was already opening and thinning I was well on my way and the sweep wasn’t really going to change anything.

41+2

Started with surges at 3:15am’ish. I started timing with Freya and I was absolutely giddy with excitement.

Surges stayed spaced out but consistent until 10:30am and I started to feel them coming closer, then skipping a few, then closer again. I’d decided that I was in labour I was going to bake a birth day cake to eat with my family to celebrate the little one’s arrival so once Freya deemed us in established labour that’s exactly what I did!

My parents are currently staying with us so once they heard me baking they packed up for the day and night and gave my husband and I the house to ourselves. At 11:30am I got a bit emotional and decided I needed our doula. She arrived promptly and immediately put me at ease- was just like having a good friend round and I felt like I went from the amber zone back to the green.

We had lunch, my husband wrapped up work for the day, we took the dog for a walk and started setting up the birth pool. Around 3:30pm I decided I wanted to let the midwives know I was in labour, we rang and they informed us that the homebirth midwife was currently with a mom in the labour ward would we be able to cope a little while longer or did we feel we needed her now? Seeing as I was still able to chat between surges, the sensations and intensity totally manageable I said I could wait.

Around 4pm I decided I needed a shower to help with some relief in my back and belly. After the shower I was comfortable but getting tired so climbed onto the bed with my husband, our dog and our doula gave us some family time. This was a beautiful time and I felt like I slept between surges (not sure if I did or just felt like sleep) and the frequency of the surges slowed down. As I was just chatting to my husband and doula I suddenly felt I had to get up and stand and that’s when everything seemed to go from 0-100mph. The next sets of surges were coming much faster and lasting up to a minute, sometimes more. I could no longer chat, I needed to focus and then before I knew it I was moaning and “moo’ing” trying to remind myself to be relaxed and to breathe. I landed up kneeling beside the bed, pjs came off and I was having to really focus on being calm. Husband rung back for the midwife at 5:12pm, the frequency of surges was now closer to 4 in 10min lasting a minute vs 3 in 10min listing 45sec. I felt massive pressure building and started to get tearful and the doula explained it was my waters bulging- well next thing you know they popped and gushed out and there was no sign of a cord (prolapsed cord risk associated with polyhydromios).

My Doula asked my husband to ring midwives back and follow up with them at 5:37pm (we stay 10 minutes from the hospital so we’re concerned possibly lost). I felt I needed to get in the birth pool now, it had just reached the minimum water level and I was starting to say “I can’t do this anymore, I’m not enjoying this” and our doula reminded me of transition and how close I was- this was exactly what I needed to hear.

Got in the water just after 5:40pm, my husband holding my hands and down breathing just started on its own. I felt like my body had two versions now- me thinking I could control things and then the instinctive natural version of me that took over. In new surges it felt like I was shaking (my husband told me I wasn’t I just looked zoned out) and I breathed our baby down and out and I caught him in the pool at 5:51pm. The midwives arrived at 6:05pm and they were frantic but I was absolutely calm, dazed and so proud of myself I was grinning.

Post birth-

As the midwives had arrived after the birth they said they’d be happier if I had the injection to deliver the placenta. We had delayed clamping so I was happy to accept. The placenta did take a bit of coaxing out and I needed a couple superficial stitches, had no tears to the perineum just to labia (hurt like mad being stitched but up breathing helped a lot) and a few inside my vagina wall. My husband had the golden hour skin to skin because I needed to focus on myself and breathing. Once all the paperwork was done, baby checked, the midwives left, doula had packed up everything and done the laundry of towels we were left as a family of 3 curled up in bed together with the dog at our feet.

Few days post partum-

Looking back on it, some amnesia but still recent enough to be fresh in my mind, I feel like we had an amazing experience. I am blown away by what we achieved as a team (myself, husband and doula) and that truly I was able to breathe my baby out no medication and no coaching. I wouldn’t call it pain free but there is definitely a difference between pain and suffering, and not for a second do I think that I suffered.

I think biggest lesson was trusting myself, being certain that my body is designed for this and to make informed decisions with information that is current and up to date. Our baby boy was born with a lot of vernix so I stand by the fact he was not overdue in the slightest and I was right to stand my ground regarding an induction, he came when he was ready.