Birth story - Maria and baby girl

*Trigger warning* - use of word contractions (not negative to me), 2nd degree tear, measuring big, blood clot

I had a fairly straight forward pregnancy, morning sickness lasted until around 20 weeks. I had a few growth scans because I was measuring "big" but at the scans baby was measuring on the 50th centile so "average".

Giving birth never really phased me, I was quite chilled out about giving birth, the PBC just chilled me out even more. Weeks before my due date I started getting anxiety and frustrated due to all the messages "any sign of baby" "you're going to have a big baby" "when is the baby coming" "are you in labour yet?!" Even my mum kept asking if I was in labour yet or if anything was happening, considering she was my second birthing partner I'm sure I would have told her!!

2am on the 7th June (day before my EDD) I woke up with some period pains, I didn't think anything of it as I'd been getting them for a few weeks prior on and off so I got up, went downstairs and lay on the sofa (my second bedroom ). I noticed that these "period pains" were coming every 15-20 mins so did wonder if this was the real thing or if it was Braxton Hicks. I also started loosing my plug and kept taking pictures and sending it to my family asking them their thoughts as I still wasn't sure if it was the real deal anyway, it got to about 6am and I knew my husband would get up to get ready and go into London for work. I went upstairs and asked my him to work from home as I wasn't sure if I was in the early stages of labour or not.

Throughout the day I made sure my hospital bag was packed and tried to do some oxytocin building activities but I had my inlaws round so made it difficult for me to get in the zone. I bounced on my ball for most of the day trying to make conversation with my in laws but every time I went on the ball these "period pains" kept getting further apart in time and every time I lay down on my bed they became closer together so I made the decision to lay down on my side in bed. My husband finished work at 5pm and as soon as he finished work it's like my body knew to start ramping things up. The "period pains" started coming every 6-8 mins, my husband and my mum were great, bringing me wet flannels, water, rubbing my back however, they started panicking telling me I needed to get to the hospital, I knew well within myself that I wouldn't be far gone enough to stay however we went to the hospital at around 6.30pm anyway.

Before leaving the house I had a meltdown about our dog, saying I felt bad for leaving him with my sister and I felt like I was abandoning him. When we got to the hospital I was only 2cms which I knew would have been the case. The midwife asked me if whilst she was examining me I would accept a sweep, I accepted and went back home. It got to around 10pm and my "period pains" were coming every 2-3 mins however I was in denial that I was in labour and these "period pains" were actually contractions. My husband and my mum kept saying they wanted to get me to the hospital, I still didn't think I needed the hospital as I was still in denial that I was in labour. Anyway we went to the hospital, got examined and I was 6cms! I was so relieved to be able to stay.

They read my birth plan and unfortunately due to short staffing the MLU was closed, there was only 1 birthing pool on the CLU however it was in use - when I found out it was in use I told the midwife to kick the other couple out! We got into our room, they offered gas and air, I tried it and after 2 puffs I made my mind up that I didn't like it. The midwife offered to run me a bath as she knew I really wanted a water birth, before my bath I wanted to go toilet and then I couldn't get off the toilet, I wanted to labour on the toilet as it was so comfortable anyway I got in the bath and it was such a relief.

I laboured for around 30 mins in the bath and then POP my waters went, I actually thought I pushed the babyout , when I opened my eyes I was like ‘where’s the baby??’ Haha! I threw up 3 times in a row and then I felt the urge to start pushing. The midwife told me I needed to get out the bath however, I couldn't, my husband literally needed to carry me out of the bath. In the background I could hear my mum saying "you can't just push the midwife needs to examine you and tell you when to push" she obviously is stuck in the stone age. The midwife told her it was fine and I needed to listen to my body. I got on the bed on my knees for around 10 mins but I was a bit uncomfortable so the midwife suggested I sat down on the bed and said she could pull the bottom of the bed out (Almost like I was sat on a toilet seat again). I had a wobble before turning over, I told the midwife I wanted to go home, that I was scared and I didn’t want to do this anymore. I could hear my mum asking the midwife if it was too late for any other pain relief, the midwife said we didn't have time and that my birth plan states I knew what my options were if I needed anything.

I started pushing but her head was coming down and then bobbing back up, the midwife suggested I stopped screaming with my pushes and maybe put my hands under my bum and breathe through them, I took her advice as she obviously read my birth plan. My two pushes after that her head was out and then the final push her body was out. I felt the ring of fire and I definitely felt myself tear.

We had our golden hour where I breastfed for the first time and she pooped all over me. I couldn't for the life of me deliver the placenta so I accepted the injection, the midwife had to tug a little to get it out but it came out with a huge blood clot. I was examined and had a 2nd degree tear, being sewn up wasn't bad either.

Even though I didn't get my water birth, I feel my birth experience was very positive and I'd definitely do it again! Throughout my whole labour, not once did I think about pain relief, I used the tens machine for a while but I don't think it done anything for me. The Freya app was great keeping me calm and helping me time my contractions. To all you expecting mammas out there, you've got this!