Birth story - Sophie and baby Ramona

Hi! I wanted to share my birth story with you after my daughter was born on 4th July 2020. I did the online course during pregnancy due to Covid-19 and loved it. I’d hoped for a very natural, calm birth but unfortunately mine ended with an emergency c-section. The hypnobirthing techniques and affirmations really helped me, particularly postpartum, while I have struggled at times to come to terms with the birthing experience I had. Thanks so much for providing such amazing resources for women, particularly during lockdown.

I was 40+4 when my contractions started in the evening, while I was at home with my husband. By 9pm my surges were building. I decided to have a shower and get into bed, where I used the Freya app to time them and try to keep a track of how things were progressing. We were both so excited and calm, breathing through those early exciting feelings of, “Is this it?!”

By midnight, the surges were feeling more substantial and my husband called the lovely team at Good Hope Hospital, who asked me to go in for a check. I spent an hour alone in the hospital due to the Covid restrictions before they invited my husband to join me in the labour ward, as I was 6cm dilated. Using the hypnobirthing techniques helped us so much, and the first few hours of labour were beautiful. We had the lights dimmed and the windows wide open, and cool air soothed me as I lent on the bed and rocked through each surge. I had prepared a playlist, but it felt so much more special to be awake in the silence, about to meet our sweet girl as the world slept. I visualised waves crashing and was able to smile through my surges, knowing that each one was bringing me closer to meeting my baby.

When the time came for the next check, I was happy to get back up on the bed and see how things were progressing. My midwife wanted to get a second opinion on how dilated I was. Her colleague mentioned that I was about 8cm along but that my waters still hadn’t broken. We used BRAIN and chose to have them broken there, but unfortunately this was when the experience changed for me. My body went into shock when my waters broke and my baby’s heartbeat dropped significantly. Ultimately, I was taken to theatre for an emergency c-section, which was the scenario I was most fearful of. This was not what I had hoped for, but it’s worth noting that this was such an efficient and fast process. I wasn’t scared by the alarm or the people, but I felt instantly assured that I was being taken care of and that my baby was going to be okay if we acted quickly. I tried to focus on the affirmation, “I make decisions that feel right for me and my baby”.

By the time I was in theatre and the surgery had started, I felt extremely relaxed and back in my happy place, picturing calm waters and eagerly anticipating that first, beautiful cry. My husband was by my side, holding my hand, and my midwife even came through to see me to make sure I was okay. Our baby was born at 7:48am weighing 9lbs 7oz and was brought to my chest, where my husband and I gazed into her big open eyes, completely besotted and happier than I ever knew possible.

Following the birth, we had about an hour together as a family before my husband had to leave. I stayed in the hospital for a little over 24 hours with Ramona, cared for by the brilliant team at Good Hope. Born on 4th July, it was frustrating to be without my husband, knowing that England’s pubs were opening their doors after lockdown. I was holding the most wonderful creature I’d ever laid eyes on - feeding her, loving her, yet I didn’t feel like a goddess or a superhero. I didn’t even have the strength to pick her up without help.

Over the next few weeks I entered a period of grief for the gentle, natural birth I had hoped for in my pregnancy. I felt like a failure for not being able to give birth, and I would often have flashbacks of the time before I was taken to theatre. And that’s when I delved into my hypnobirthing techniques more than ever, rediscovering my favourite affirmations; “My baby was born gently, calmly and safely”, “The birth of my baby was beautiful”, “I am the best mother for my baby”. 

I’m so happy that I practiced hypnobirthing because, without it, I know that my birth would have been much more challenging both physically and mentally, and I would have been far less equipped for the postpartum period. My baby is now 2 months old and I feel more in love with her, and with myself, every single day. I see my birth story as a really positive one and I love that my scar is there to remind me of how strong I am, and how far I’ve come.