Birth story - Phoebe and baby Roman

The birth of baby Roman. I still canʼt quite believe that I did it! After months of preparing and practicing various techniques, I got to birth my beautiful baby at home just as Iʼd planned. Iʼd already had 2 previous births- both of which were in the labour ward and with my second I ended up with an epidural and forceps delivery after being induced. I didnʼt have a particularly nice memory of either birth and I just knew that it could be different this time.

At around 14 weeks pregnant I downloaded the positive birth company digital pack and I watched it all within a few weeks. I decided fairly quickly that I wanted to have my baby at home. I researched the statistics of how safe it was etc. And I was confident that a home birth would give me the best chance at the magical birth Iʼd hoped for. Once I’d made this decision I’d met with the home-birth midwife who reassured me even more and I then spent the rest of my pregnancy practicing my breathing, meditating, listening to the MP3ʼs that came with the digital pack and watching / reading positive birth stories.

Towards the end of my pregnancy my husband and I watched the digital pack together and discussed ways that he could support me during labour - I knew that he had to be fully onboard with what I was trying to achieve if this was going to work.

On Thursday 26th September (my due date) my midwife popped round and gave me a sweep to try and get things moving. The following morning I’d woken up after a good nights sleep with contractions. I’d been having them on and off for a few days so I didn’t get too excited but I had a feeling today would be different. I wasn’t going to stop my day so I just carried on as normal; I walked to our local park, had a coffee and watched my toddler play. I was having contractions whilst sat on the bench and when I went to the loo at the café I’d had my “show” which I was very excited about! I’d promised my daughter that we would walk to the lake to feed the ducks so despite being fairly confident I was in labour, off I went, in the rain, contracting as I walked. In total I walked nearly 5 miles that morning. I then messaged my husband to say things were happening but I was fine and just to make sure he didn’t travel too far away from home.

At about 2pm my husband had come home and offered me a lie down - So I napped for an hour before then setting off on another walk (about a mile this time) to collect my eldest daughter from school. I was still having regular contractions but was able to hide them whilst I chatted with the other mums in the playground. Then as I walked through the school gates to come home, my waters broke! I couldn’t help but laugh - a mixture of “as if that’s just happened” and “thank goodness this really is it”.

At about 4pm I arrived back home and was really unsure about whether I should carry on and keep my 2 kids at home, but with them still needing dinner / baths / bed I decided it best they went to my father-in-laws house just in case. So at 4.30 my 2 girls left for a sleepover and my husband and I cleaned and tidied the house a bit and started shutting the curtains and making it lovely and cosy. I asked him if he could set up the birthing room while I went and had a bath. By this time I was having to breathe through my contractions but I still felt amazing!

Whilst in the bath I listened to my positive affirmations MP3 and then decided to actually time my contractions for the first time using the Freya app. I’d only used the app for about ten minutes before it told me that I was in “established labour ” and that now is the time to call the midwife. I was still unsure but I got out the bath and phoned the midwife just after 5pm. Luckily she only lives about 5 minutes down the road from me so I didn’t feel bad about wasting her time if she didn’t need to be here yet! She was great and said she’d come and see me and happily go back home if needed.

Just before 6pm my midwife arrived and gave me the once over - all looked fine! She asked if I wanted to be examined and I was really unsure. I’d previously thought I didn’t want any examinations at all but actually decided that because I still felt good and was in a great mental place that even if I wasn’t that dilated yet I’d be ok with that. Upon examination, just after 6pm I was 3cmʼs dilated. I felt fine with my progress and my midwife said she’d stay for another hour just to see how things progressed before making a decision whether to come back later or not. My husband made her a cup of tea and she sat and watched tv in our living room so my husband and I could be alone in the birthing room. We worked as a team to keep me calm and relaxed and breathing through my contractions. I could still have a full conversation in between and had full confidence in my body and the process.

Just after 7pm my midwife came in and listened to baby’s heartbeat, and felt my tummy. She was happy and just left the room again (she didn’t say anything about whether she would stay or go and I didn’t question it).

At about 7.30 I knew I was going through transition, as I breathed I unintentionally made a noise on my out breath and straight away said I wanted to get in to the birthing pool.

My midwife appeared back in the room but didnʼt say anything - until I couldnʼt manage to get my leg over the side of the pool and we all laughed! As soon as I got in the pool i just kept saying “this feels so good” over and over. Then only a few minutes later I announced “the babyʼs coming now”. The second midwife hadnʼt even arrived at this point (you always get 2 Midwifeʼs at a homebirth) and I remember hearing my midwife on the phone saying I was pushing and how long would she be etc.

During pushing I lost my way with my breathing - I couldnʼt remember how to “down breathe” effectively but I just let my body take over and do whatever it needed. I remember my husband saying “remember this pain is just bringing you closer to your baby” and I joked back “thereʼs no such thing as pain”. As I felt the baby coming down I just kept repeating “come on baby, we can do this”. Twenty one minutes of pushing later, at 7.54pm, there my baby was - a beautiful, healthy baby (weighing 8lb 4). I lifted “it” through my legs and my husband announced we had a baby boy! I just cried and cried saying “I canʼt believe Iʼve just done that!” I then delivered my placenta about ten minutes later whilst on the sofa, and whilst I did slightly tear I opted not to have stitches.

By 11pm (just 3 hours after his birth) Iʼd showered, was in my pjʼs, the midwife had gone home and I was back in my own bed. The whole experience was like a beautiful dream and I feel like a superwoman. The thought of pain relief didnʼt even enter my mind (which is fortunate considering the second Midwdife brings the gas and air and she only arrived just before his birth!). I cannot thank the positive birth company enough for everything they have taught me to enable me to have the perfect birth and to have the most natural high I will likely ever experience in my entire life. As I look in to the room my baby Roman was born in I just want to cry with happiness at how it all went. A million thank youʼs wouldnʼt even be enough.