Birth story - Paris and baby Dela

*Trigger Warning* - Use of word Contraction (Not negative to me) Suspected big baby, 2nd degree tear, mention of theatre.

Reading other peoples birth stories throughout my pregnancy really helped me feel empowered to birth my baby. I think birth is so beautiful, and love how individual every story is. Every night before going to bed I used to read one or two positive birth stories and drift off to sleep dreaming and wondering what my birth would be like. I can’t actually believe I’m sat in bed cuddling my beautiful baby girl writing my own positive birth story, hoping that someone else is sat there reading waiting to have their own bundle of joy.

Pregnancy

Overall my pregnancy was very straight forward, I managed to get married and have a lovely honeymoon while being pregnant and really enjoyed the whole experience. Towards the end I got sent for a growth scan at 26 weeks, this was due to my bump measuring small at a routine midwife appointment and the midwife was also unsure if the baby was breech. This was probably the first time in my pregnancy I felt any real anxiety and was worried about the baby being breech and needing a c section as this was really something I wanted to avoid. The scan confirmed that the baby was head down which was a relief but showed that the baby was actually measuring on the big side, the midwife explained there would be no further intervention at this point but that I could return in 2 weeks for another scan and to see the doctor.

I returned in two weeks to be told baby was still big and that I should think about an induction at 39 week, to which I told the doctor I wasn’t interested in. She continued to tell me there was an increased risk of the baby getting stuck if I didn’t accept an Induction (not helpful) but sent me home to return again in 2 weeks. Next time they really struggled to measure the baby and couldn’t really even guess the size I spoke to the consultant and explained that I felt having growth scans was just giving me anxiety and that I wanted to try and have a vaginal delivery even if the baby was big, I also made them aware that I had done ample research and was going to refuse induction. The consultant said this seemed like a good idea and told me I didn’t need to return for any more scans which was a massive relief and allowed me to continue to enjoy the end of my pregnancy.

Labour

I started feeling contractions (Period like pain) at 1am on Wednesday the 2nd of March, I was sure this would be a false start as it was a week before my due date and I had convinced myself that no first time mums give birth before their due date, despite always having a gut feeling that she might come early. My mind quickly ran away with me though as the contractions kept coming and I started to get excited to meet my baby. The contractions weren’t painful but I started timing them and they were coming every 10 minutes and lasting about 30 seconds. I decided to get up as I couldn’t sleep and go downstairs where I watched Matilda, ate some breakfast and bounced on my pregnancy ball. At 8 am I decided this was ridiculous and that if I was having a baby I needed to get some sleep and went back to bed for a few hours.

During the day I went about my day, it was Joes day off and he’d promised me Nandos so we headed there and then I walked round Asda looking at all the cute baby clothes as if I hadn’t already brought enough. The whole time I was timing contractions and breathing through them using the Freya app. The contractions continued at every 10 -15 minutes for the whole day, they weren’t painful. But I practiced my up breathing during each one figuring it was a good time to get some real practice in before stuff got more serious. I think Joe didn’t really believe I was in labour due to how calm I was and tbh I’m not sure I fully believed it myself, I managed to stay very relaxed which I think ultimately helped progress things. When we got home Joe started cooking a roast dinner for some reason and I had a bath in the dark listening to positive affirmations on the Freya app.

At around 5pm the contractions got a bit more intense so I got back in the bath and listened to more meditations in the dark in the bath breathing through each contraction, while I was in the bath the Freya app told me that I was in and out of active labour I pretty much ignored this as my birth plan was to stay at home as long as possible and I wanted to be really sure this baby was on the way before heading to hospital. When I came down I started to use the tens machine as a distraction and spent time on all fours watching TV and focusing on relaxing and storing energy in-between contractions. When It got to 8pm I decided to get some sleep as the contractions were still 10 minutes apart most of the time and I knew first time labours could be long, I was still managing well with the tens machine and up breathing. I went upstairs to get a nap and just as I was falling asleep my waters broke, after this my contractions ramped up and I started to loose focus. I think in hindsight I was a) in shock due to my waters breaking quite dramatically with a loud pop just as I was drifting off to sleep, when I was expecting more of a trickle b) potentially in transition or at the very end of the up stage of labour.

I was quite sick at this stage, luckily Joe was on hand to catch all sick in a saucepan because apparently the bin was full. Joe rang the midwife and she asked us to go in so we made our way to hospital. I had a contraction as I was getting into the car and used the app to guide me to breath through it then I remember telling Joe to drive fast so we could get there without another one coming in the car as the hospital is only 5 minutes away. Once at the hospital the contractions were now between 5 and 3 minutes apart and lasting a lot longer. Our midwife met us at the entrance and walked us to the midwife led unit where she took us to a lovely room with dim lighting, a pool and even a double bed. The midwife offered me some paracetamol which I accepted and told us to get ourselves comfy in the room and that she would be back in half an hour to examine me.

I was pacing the room still breathing through the contractions with the tens machine which I found achievable even though they were a lot more intense now, once we were settled in the hospital I was able to get back in the zone and felt much calmer once again. At this point I decided to go to the toilet and remember saying to Joe that I felt like I might need to push, Joe took this as an opportunity to ask the midwife back into the room. The midwife came back and asked if I wanted to examined now instead of waiting half an hour and I was in two minds about this, I had put in my birth plan that I only wanted to avoid examinations as much as possible. I think my main fear was that I’d be 1cm dilated and then disheartened and that would slow down labour. Although I was feeling a lot of pressure and was sure that I was very nearly ready to have this baby I didn’t want to start pushing and waste energy if I wasn’t ready yet so I got out of my own head and accepted an examination, I was 8/9 cms and nearly ready to push! I felt such a relief at this stage and remember being so proud of how far id got at home on my own.

I now asked to get into the pool and have some gas and air. I was able to refocus on having this baby and calmed down a lot from what I had been before, once the pool was run I got straight in and the relief was instant, I had a few breaths of gas and air and started to get back in the zone. Within about 1 hour of being in the pool I started to listen to my body and practice my down breathing making all sorts of mooing noises. Focusing on relaxing as much as possible between contractions we had our wedding playlist playing and I was singing along to all my favourite songs. The midwife supporting us was so lovely and left us be only offering advice when asked, despite being adamant I wanted to be upright and on all fours for my labour I was getting really tired and the gas and air was giving me pins and needles in my hands so I laid down and relaxed. It was in this position the midwife saw the babies head for the first time and encouraged me to keep listening to my body and doing what worked for me.

Eventually the midwife encouraged me to stop using the gas and air as she didn’t think I needed it, at this point I focused again on being in an upright position kneeling over the side of the bath and babies head was delivered on the next contraction babies body was born it really all happened so fast, Joe and I lifted the baby out of the water where she screamed much to my relief.

We had delayed cord clamping and i'd declined the injection for the placenta so we stayed in the pool for a while just staring at our baby. I was getting cold so got out the pool to deliver the placenta but started to panic so ended up asking for the injection. There was some delay delivering the placenta as expected with the delay in me having the injection so we waited and the midwife encouraged me to go for a wee and stand up to try and get gravity to help. I honestly think I was in shock that the birth went so much to plan and struggled to stand so she put in a catheter to empty my bladder and put the bed right up to help with gravity. I also breast fed to try and help with oxytocin and to move things along but I was getting in more of a panic that I'd have to go to theatre. Another midwife came in, and was holding my hand talking to me and eventually I delivered the placenta. Instant relief again, I did have a second degree tear which at one point they did think was a 3rd degree which would have required theatre to repair. The midwife reckons I mainly tore so badly because she was born with her hand up but who knows, I was so scared of tearing but honestly it was not as bad as I thought it would be.

I was quite lucky because there was no-one else giving birth that night so they got the head consultant to give a second opinion and she stitched me up herself. After all of that was over we were left alone to chill and cuddle our beautiful daughter before being discharged only 4 and a half hours after she was born. She was weighed just before we left and was 7lb 8 so not the giant baby they had predicted after all.

I think I’m naturally a positive person but all that aside the positive birth company really helped me prepare for birth and I’m really confident that, even though my birth was pretty straight forward, I would have been a able to deal with anything that happened using the skills I've learnt. The female body is incredible and I'm even more in awe of it than I already was and would have another baby tomorrow. To anyone reading this waiting to give birth, believe in yourself and trust your gut you can do this!!