Birth story - Nicole and baby girl

*Trigger Warning* - mention of previous birth experience, kidney and bladder infections, emergency cesarean. Also mentions of hemorrhage, retained placenta

For context, my first’s birth (and parts of my pregnancy with him) was difficult and traumatic. It doesn’t help it was 2020 and everything was a bit stressful for non-pregnancy related reasons haha. Long story short, I had a bladder and kidney infection while in labor. I’d been hospitalized halfway through my pregnancy once, and unfortunately the second infection was severe and dangerous. We ended up with an emergency cesarean due to baby boy being in distress and my body being too sick and dehydrated to labor properly.

Also, I am incredibly grateful for modern medicine. My son was born the way he needed to be, and we were both healthy and healed well. For that, I am grateful.

But mentally, I’d been traumatized and displayed symptoms of PTSD regarding his birth. I was done having kids.

I started therapy in May of 2022 to start working through it. I went through several sessions of ART therapy (Accelerated Resolution Therapy) to process the trauma. It helped with my symptoms immensely.

A few months later, my husband began asking if we could have another baby. After another couple months of debating and prayer (in my own head) I finally agreed that we could have one more.

In December, I got a positive pregnancy test.

I immediately sprang into action. I knew what I wanted regarding the birth of this baby, and I was going to fight like hell to make it happen. I had wanted a similar experience for my son’s birth, but never worked towards it. My hands felt tied during 2020 on my options, and I never researched.

I began researching OBs. To be honest, I never found one that felt “right” to guide me through this experience. There are tons of amazing OBs and doctors in this area, and I am not anti medicine. But, I began researching midwives and birth centers.

After interviewing multiple midwives and going to a couple of the birth centers in the surrounding areas, I still hadn’t found one I wanted to go to. I found another birth center. It was a little bit of a drive away, about 45 minutes. We went. We interviewed. I knew this was the one. I was so comfortable and it just felt right. I immediately signed up to be their client, and care began a couple months later.

Because of my history of infection, I began a rigorous regime of supplements and probiotics. I did this every single day through my pregnancy. I had a few tiny UTIs, but all I was able to heal holistically, which I am very grateful for. (Again, not anti-medicine, I will take antibiotics if determined the infection was too severe to heal holistically!)

At our anatomy scan, we discovered we were having a baby girl. We were surprised but happy! We’d both been convinced it was a boy the whole time. Well, we were, but our 2 year old knew she was a girl!

We also learned at the scan I had an anterior placenta, but it was not embedded in my cesarean scar, so we were cleared for VBAC!

The rest of my pregnancy went really smoothly, despite the lack of AC in our house, which made the summer brutally hot.

We also prepped. A lot. We purchased books and acquired tools to help us both through the labor and delivery. My husband was dedicated to supporting me through the birth I wanted, and we exercised, meditated, and practiced for the birth almost daily. We worked on our fears, and spoke affirmations.

~~~~~~~~~~~~💛THE BIRTH💛~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday, August 5 rolled around. We had a long, busy, hot day, but we were doing well mentally. I had had Braxton Hicks for months, I always start getting them as early as 17 weeks. That day I did notice things were more consistent and a little more firm. By 11 pm, we determined that I was in early labor. We texted our midwives, and decided to get some sleep.

I woke at about 3:30 am, with consistent surges that I could no longer sleep through. I labored for a few hours, then we finally called my parents so they could come get our toddler. They showed up around 7 am, then we headed out to the birth center.

Also, laboring in the car was a 0/10, just FYI. Haha!

When we arrived at the birth center, I labored for another hour or so, before the surges tapered off around 9. My midwife told me that was super normal for the time of day, so I napped for a couple hours, which was very needed, and labor picked back up at about 11.

Baby girl was a little rotated, so we did the Miles Circuit to try to get her to rotate into a more optimal position. And it worked! I still had some serious back labor though. My husband applied counter pressure for every single surge (he had sore arms the next day, haha)!

My photographer showed up at about 1, and we continued breathing and smiling through. I allowed my midwife to check dilation at that time, and we discovered I was about 7 cm dilated! The birth center was beautifully quiet and peaceful, and we smiled and laughed together between surges. My parents brought my son to the birth center, and he came in periodically to give me hugs and kisses. He was just the oxytocin booster I needed.

At some point (don’t ask me the time, I have no idea lol) I got into the birthing tub. It was lovely. I labored for another hour or so in there, but labor slowed down a little again. It was determined that baby girl wasn’t quite in the right position yet to be born, so I got out of the tub and we did some other movements and work to get her rotated. And boy, did labor pick up again!

I moved to the toilet (if you know, you know!) and suddenly the surges were intensely powerful and much more difficult to breathe through.

The first, I suddenly got very hot and stripped butt naked.

The second, my water finally broke.

The third, my midwives came running in, realizing from the sounds I was making that this baby wasn’t waiting around. They moved me to the birthing stool so she wasn’t born into the toilet.

The fourth, I felt her head descend.

The fifth, her head popped out, followed mere seconds later by her body.

I roared our baby girl into the world.

I also had experienced FER (Fetal Ejection Reflex), which was another one of my secret “wants” for my birth! I never consciously pushed this baby out.

At 5:58 pm, our baby girl was born into the hands of her dad. I’ll never forget the look on his face, his eyes shining with emotion, as he held her and looked me in the eyes.

We had done it. Together.

I did begin to bleed, which they gave me a bunch of herbal treatments for. We got the bleeding under control, and we moved to the bed where we had our golden hour. Sweet girl cried only once when she was born, then laid contentedly on me the rest of the time, searching for food.

Unfortunately, after the hour, my placenta still didn’t want to come out, now considered retained. We got up and walked, and eventually I was able to push it out. Again, unfortunately, my bleeding started again, and this time they couldn’t stop it. I’d lost approximately a liter of blood, so I consented to a shot of pitocin in my leg, and eventually that got the bleeding to stop. I now laugh at the irony, having done the whole labor and delivery, including the delivery of the placenta, without any assistance and ended up with pitocin anyway. 😂

Finally, it was time to check and see if I tore. I had two labial tears, but no perineal, so we take that as a win! They were awfully tender for about 2 weeks though 🥴

After a couple more hours, it was time for the newborn exam, and then we were ready to go home. Sweet girl, at 38+6, weighed 6 lb 0.6 oz, on the 6th, born at almost 6 pm. They joked about changing the time on her birth certificate to 6, since she was born at 5:58! Haha! We didn’t though.

Y’all, I did it. I had the unmedicated VBAC I worked my butt off for. My incredible team of midwives were there every step of the way, never pushing anything on me I didn’t want. I had the best birth partner in the world, my sweet husband. Even my amazing photographer held me and supported me when the need came.

While this is our last planned baby, if I ever decide to have more, I would repeat this birth center again. I came out stronger, empowered, and recognizing how beautifully our bodies are made. The respect and love I felt from my midwives and their birth assistants was unmatched. I am not broken as I feared I was from my first birth experience. I am strong and powerful.