Birth story - Mum and baby girl

*Trigger Warning* - Molar pregnancy, Geriatric pregnancy, contractions.

Background

I am in the US but found PBC through a recommendation from one of my dear friends in Ireland who had the most wonderful birth experience thanks to the PBC course. I highly recommend you read her story. Thank you Denise! I am passionate about the power of positivity and after looking into it, I was sure that PBC was the right course for me. We are in the US where the hospital sponsored birthing classes are highly recommended. My husband and I agree we learned way more from PBC than all of the hospital courses combined!

I have enjoyed all your stories so immensely and am thrilled to add my own. You each gave me such hope, courage, excitement, anticipation and joy leading up to our delivery day. Especially towards the end of my pregnancy, my daily routine involved listening to the positive affirmations morning and evening as I dressed and showered. I also made a “Vision Board” album on my phone and filled it with screenshots of my favorite positive affirmations, hopes for my pregnancy, and images that made me feel good and positive about birth, like cute smiling babies. When nights became restless, I would listen to Freya until I fell asleep. My amazing husband also gave me a nightly back massage while I sat on my pregnancy ball and we played a track from the Freya app. It was all very calming, empowering and meditative.

Since the day we first had our pregnancy medically confirmed, we were always told that March 10th would be our baby girl’s due date. Even when ultrasounds showed that she was tracking a bit ahead size-wise or that she was hitting milestones early (like practice breathing), or the fact that we were 99% sure of the weekend we conceived we were kept to the March 10th due date.

I was really lucky that my work granted me the two weeks before my medically confirmed due date as paid time off. Partly for this reason and partly our eagerness to meet our baby girl, we continually asked our physician if it was worthwhile to move up our estimated due date. Much to our dismay, the answer was always a resounding “no!”.

So we continued on with our baby prep. Given that the OB admitted she would never let us go past 41 weeks for risk of complications, we were told that one way or another we would have a baby by St Patrick’s Day!

Pregnancy

I was really lucky to have a fairly straightforward pregnancy despite my advanced maternal age/geriatric pregnancy and previous molar pregnancy resulting in a D&C. We were grateful and surprised to conceive quickly. My husband and I have had a long and challenging past to get to where we are, and the promise of our baby girl was an unbelievably beautiful treasure!

First trimester I lost weight due to nausea but was incredibly fortunate to never throw up even once the entire pregnancy - something I was very concerned about given my phobia of vomiting. My biggest issues were a touch of iron deficiency, general lack of energy and discomfort making sleep a challenge towards the end, and constant breathlessness in third trimester, but it was all fairly manageable and I worked right up to days before my water broke. My job requires a lot of speaking/presenting in meetings, so I was constantly explaining that I was breathless due to pregnancy even though my belly was not readily visible on video calls

My last day of work was a Wednesday at 38 weeks and we spent the rest of that week and weekend hurriedly sorting all the urgent baby prep items we had struggled to get to while I was working full time. As first time parents in a new home, our to do list was long!

On Sunday late afternoon we finally managed to get our car seat inspected at the police station and I breathed a sigh of relief to have that done at last. We also made time to snap some at home maternity photos just in case we didn’t get another chance. I had stubbornly made my mind up that baby wouldn’t come until the 10th, but thank goodness we got these two big things done!

The next day, my husband urged me to please take some time to relax before baby came. I still had a long mental list going but accepted that we likely still had another week and half to prep and the major stuff was done, so for the first time in ages, I put my feet up when he left for work in the evening, cuddled with my pup in my lap, snacked on some chocolates and tried to nap before logging into a virtual baby shower for our friends.

Labour

7:15pm - My husband was on his way home from work to join the Jack and Jill shower with me. Our rescue pup was barking up a storm so I stood to shush her in hopes of not interrupting the baby shower, and just as I stood, I felt a gush between my legs. Something about it instantly felt differently from the usual third trimester discharge and I rushed to the bathroom hoping I wouldn’t be terribly missed online.

I put on a pad, changed my bottoms which had gotten damp, and rushed back to the baby shower. By this time my husband was already on his way home, so I decided not to text and tell him but rather wait until he got back. I didn’t want him to worry!

As usual, he walked in the door to be enthusiastically greeted by our two rescue pups. A few moments later he was seated next to me, ready to join the baby shower. As the festivities continued, I turned to him and said:

“Don’t freak out…but my water broke”. His face, was priceless!

It wasn’t until later that I would find out he was a turmoil of emotions - wishing I had told him right away rather than waiting until he got home, wanting to forfeit the baby shower so we could focus on what we needed to do, wanting to contact the hospital and get going ASAP!

When the shower was over, we called the doctor’s office and let them know the situation. They said they would alert the hospital and we could head in when surges were closer together.

As a first time dad to be, my husband was more than ready to head to the hospital. I, on the other hand, was eager to delay the trip as long as possible. This was partly because I wanted to be in my safe, comfy home and boost my oxytocin as much as possible, but also because I was extremely reluctant to leave our two sensitive rescue pups alone longer than needed. Without any family support, we had done extensive interviews to have a plan A, B, C and D for care for our pups. They can be particular about who they like, so we took extra care in finding support. Even so, it broke my heart to be away from them since they have had hard lives and are not used to a disruption in their routine

My water had broken with no forewarning at all. I hadn’t felt a single surge or even cramping prior. I hadn’t even really experienced any Braxton hicks earlier in the pregnancy so felt unsure of what it should feel like.

Without knowing quite what to expect but remembering the importance of staying relaxed and calm, we prepared some snacks, chilled on the sofa with our puppies for snuggles, watched some Netflix and I took a hot shower and put on some fresh comfy clothes.

11:36pm - We began using the Freya app right away but there wasn’t really much to track until after 11pm. The surges were only mildly uncomfortable so even when they hit closer together I was reluctant to leave for the hospital. I also began texting all of our potential dog sitters on standby to let them know the baby was coming and to check who might be available.

1am - with my waters still flowing and surges still surging, we decided it was time to head to the hospital. We loaded up, bid farewell to our pups, prepped the food and instructions for the sitter and were on our way.

The drive to the hospital was quiet and smooth. It was so late and the winter evening was clear, so we didn’t have much issue.

When we arrived in the hospital parking it was all dark and quiet and a bit of a walk to the entrance. Since it was after hours, we had to enter via the emergency room entrance. We unloaded only the items we would need for the delivery, immediate recovery and first few hours with baby. It was such a surreal walk, knowing that we were heading in without a baby, and would be heading out with one. I was huffing and puffing and waddling with my big belly and still couldn’t imagine ever being anything other than pregnant!

We were greeted by very nice and friendly staff in the mostly still and quiet corridors and were checked in and escorted to the triage room. The nurse came in to check vitals, collect all my details and discuss my birth plan.

3:41am - The on call doctor came in and discussed my birth plan as well. She mentioned that if things didn’t progress they would want to administer pitocin since I shouldn’t be left to labor with broken waters for too long due to risk of infection. She also pushed for me to have a direct line administered sooner rather than later. I initially declined, much to her dismay. After some discussion I eventually accepted that putting in the shunt would be ok (using BRAIN) and was reassured by the fact that I would be able to move around and still go in the water. The physician seemed somewhat unimpressed that I was opting to progress without medical intervention, but she was soon on her way and did not push for more.

Eventually, surges became more urgent and painful. The wonderful nurse on duty walked me through the miles circuit, use of yoga ball and peanut so I could try to move things along and also proposed we do a bit of walking through the hallways which we did.

Periodically the on duty nurse would check the baby’s fetal heart rate using the doppler.

5:35am - Surges became more powerful requiring me to breathe through them and an intense shaking began. Feeling that things were really happening, I very much wanted to be moved to my room where I could know that the relief of nitrous oxide or a hot bath were close at hand. The staff were reluctant to move us, but I was eager to be settled in the room where we would deliver and felt a sense of urgency to get there.

6:23am - The staff finally agreed to get us into a proper room, but much to our dismay, there were no rooms with a tub available, only showers! This was very disheartening but we had also heard very good things about the showers with the dual nozzles to help with soothing labor pains, so my husband and I agreed to move to the room rather than wait for a room with a tub that may never arrive in time. The nurse mentioned that I couldn’t use nitrous while in the tub (it was one or the other) so I was more accepting of going to the room even if only to enjoy a bit more space and privacy and a shower.

6:45am Somewhere in transit from the triage room to the LD room, things slowed down again and I found I no longer needed the gas and air for the time being and was able to breathe through.

At this point, I mostly lost all sense of time between the surges and the FHR readings which I found so disruptive to my flow, though it never occurred to me to ask them not to track them. My baby’s health was top priority and if tracking would help that, I wanted it done. They were also checking my temp to ensure no signs of infection. The next several hours went on like this - laboring, monitoring, slow down of labor, pick up in surges, monitoring and repeat!

12:18pm a spot of sunshine arrived when I was kindly moved from our current LD room to a room with a tub that had freed up! It felt like a very good sign and we were immensely grateful that our request had been recognized and kindly fulfilled!

1:20pm once settled into our new room, the on call doctor (a new one now that shifts had changed) arrived and reviewed the FHR strip and suggested again to augment labor with pitocin. I was so torn at this point. Things were moving, but they were just moving so slowly and given that we had been in the hospital for over 12hrs now and waters had been broken for much longer, we asked to be re-educated on the process of pitocin and we used BRAIN before agreeing with the plan.

I had fervently hoped for a fast labor and felt a bit sad and guilty that I wasn’t generating enough oxytocin to move things along and that I was under pressure to deliver before infection risk increased, but was grateful for the help being offered. We made it very clear to the doctor that we would like the lowest dose pitocin possible since I tend to be quite sensitive to drugs. They agreed and arrangements were made.

5:22 pm - I was amazed how quickly things ramped up once pitocin kicked in! The surges truly surged in intensity and I began to feel significant rectal pressure. I thought I possibly needed a poo and began to hope we were close! I had still yet to get in the tub since I’d been advised that until things were really moving along, the tub tended to slow things down. I was terrified of slowing things any further, so held off on the tub. I decided to try and use the toilet and at this point, had my biggest wobble complete with tears while seated on the toilet feeling utterly defeated that things just weren’t going quite to plan.

My husband was wonderfully supportive and the nurse on duty was outstanding. She seemed to realize I was working myself into a state and was quickly by my side, offering me the most amazing comfort, advice and support. I will never forget her kindness. Somehow she knew I felt unnecessarily alone and gently reminded me I was doing great, I was not alone, no one was going to leave me alone in this and I had all the support I needed. This brought on a fresh sprinkling of tears (grateful ones this time!) but also gave me the courage to get into the bed and try the nitrous oxide.

The tub was still somewhat minimized since it would make vaginal exam a bit difficult, so into the bed I went. I accepted a vaginal exam and at 4cm dilated and 90% effaced, I had a bit more hope that things were moving along and I could do it.

I had never used nitrous oxide before and in the moment, wasn’t sure if it helped as the surges came at me every 2-3 minutes with increased intensity, but at least it gave me something to do and focus on. My husband told me after that I was coping very well using the nitrous and it actually seemed to help a lot. I missed this bit, but apparently my husband said that at some point someone announced that baby began to go a bit flat (!!!) and I was gently encouraged to take a break from the gas and it was whisked away.

At this point, my coping mechanisms had fallen away and the amazing nurse stepped right in with counter pressure, visualization and breathing techniques. They were an absolute lifesaver!! I wish I had paid more attention to developing these skills ahead of birth, but my husband was fantastic and began reading some of the visualizations from the PBC materials while adding his own personal humor in to distract me

6:15pm - the rectal pressure had picked up and the surges were flying one after another leaving me half blind with the intensity. I accepted another vaginal exam, though they had become increasingly and surprisingly uncomfortable to conduct. When I was told I was 6cm dilated I felt incredibly discouraged.

Looking back, I should have been so proud of myself, but I had truly hoped the end was in sight and 6cm did not seem close enough when each surge required all my energy and focus. By now it was nearly 24hrs since waters had broken and I had not had a good nights sleep on the previous evening so the lack of rest alone had me beyond exhausted, never mind the whole being in labor bit!

My husband, medical team and I had a group discussion and the epidural was gently suggested again. To the credit of the medical team, they were incredibly sensitive to my birth preferences and avoided even saying the word epidural, but I was beginning to hit what I felt were my physical limits. Looking back I do believe it was more mental than physical, but regardless, my husband and I used BRAIN again and agreed we would consider the epidural as long as I could have the lowest dose necessary. This was not at all an easy decision to come to, but once we reached it, since we had gone through the BRAIN process, it felt right.

6:45 pm - things moved incredibly quickly from here. Much to my terror, I was told I needed to be absolutely still for 10-15 min in order for the epidural to be administered. By now I was constantly shaking violently with the surge of hormones (something I had absolutely not expected!) and with the surges firing nearly back to back, I couldn’t imagine holding still for a minute let alone fifteen of them!

Nevertheless, the stars were aligned for me and the anesthesiologist happened to be readily available and popped in right away. This was a massive blessing since once the epidural decision was made, I felt the need for it with an intense urgency as I anticipated much craved relief. The anesthesiologist was amazing and instantly set me at ease despite the massive challenge ahead of me. The way my husband describes it, he said I became an entirely different person and visibly went to a totally different place mentally when I was asked to curve my back, drop my head and hold still. I will never know quite how I did it, but somehow, we got the epidural administered!

7:15 pm - The change was miraculous! Minutes later I was comfortably resting in bed. Though I still felt the rectal pressure accompanying contractions, it was just a presence and absolutely tolerable.

8:52pm - In the blink of an eye, I was 8cm dilated and 100% effaced! I couldn’t believe how gently everything was progressing! In this time I managed a nap which felt absolutely blissful! We also ordered a load of food before realizing I was no longer allowed to eat anything other than clear liquids. I persuaded my husband to eat my meal (which he happily did!) while I was shocked to actually enjoy my hospital broth and jello plus coconut water which we had brought from home.

10:05pm - I agreed to another vaginal exam and was thrilled to hardly feel any discomfort thanks to the epidural, and was absolutely shocked to be told I was 10cm dilated and 100% effaced! Pushing would begin very soon!

I braced myself for what would come next but honestly, pushing felt like a wonderful relief after the intensity of the surges. Looking back I can say it actually felt good (?) but debatable if I would have said the same in the moment

Both my husband and the nurse helped to hold my legs back during each surge and she talked me through the pushing and breathing expertly! When the doctor arrived, she hardly even touched me and only commented that I was doing so well, I didn’t need her!

When a mirror was offered and it was suggested that I might find things easier if I could see, my husband and I surprised ourselves by asking for it. I think we were willing to do anything to make things easier at this point! Surprisingly, I would now recommend it to anyone! I believe this was one of the best things we did. I did not think I’d have the stomach for it, but it was actually wonderfully fascinating to be able to see what was going on with each of my surges.

I was amazed when we were told they could see baby’s head full of hair, and sure enough, there it was. With another push, her sweet, squalling face suddenly appeared! The pressure had changed a bit and I was not getting much relief with each surge and felt an increased urgency to birth her. Just as I began to feel so very close, the next surge brought a view of her sweet face and her tiny hand pressed up beside her cheek in a dramatic little wave at the world, her eyes still tightly shut!

Seeing this, I quaked inside, sure that I had now reached my limits and baffled by how this baby could come out now in in such a complicated position. What was I going to do!? I am sorry to say I envisioned all sorts of tearing and pain and difficulty but did my best to focus on the nurse’s guidance and the surges coursing through me. I heard someone suggest rubbing Castile soap to help slide things along and moments later, our sweet baby girl was on my chest! I could hardly believe it since I truly thought it would be a massive delay before she arrived given the unexpected positioning. I instantly burst into tears of amazement and joy! She was here! I was shocked that it happened so fast!

The golden hour with our girl was magical! Basking in the glory and shock and awe of what had happened is something I have no words for. Seeing my husband hold our girl for the first time was indescribable! The kind nurses mentioned that the cafe would be closing so my sweet husband ran off to snag me some food before our window closed. Placenta was delivered without complication.

I couldn’t believe she was here!! Our brave, inspiring daughter, arrived on 3/1/22 at 11:25 pm, 6lbs 14.2 oz, 20.28 inches

To this day, I can’t believe I never stepped a toe in the tub the entire birth, never even thought to use the TENS machine we brought with us (next time!) or that we used a mirror at the end and I had zero tearing and never soiled myself. So much of this birth was unexpected, but I felt tremendously more prepared than I would have been without the PBC course. If anything, I am excited for a potential next birth to apply all my learnings and enjoy the magical process once more. It did not all go to plan by any means, but it was truly a positive birth and I have never felt so accomplished, powerful or grateful in all my life! Wishing each of you amazing mamas a positive, inspiring birth story all your own that you will cherish forever! If I’ve learned anything, it’s that birth is a simultaneously empowering and humbling journey and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.