Birth story - Mum and baby girl

Instanbul, Turkey

On the night of the 20th of June, I was woken up at 3am with what felt like period cramps. I tried to ignore them and go back to sleep again but I wasn’t able to get comfortable lying down. So I got up and decided to get myself some toast, like I had done almost every night throughout my third trimester. Once up on my feet the pains seemed to subside. So, I just hung out in the living room in front of the TV with my husband who was still awake. I eventually managed to go back to sleep again after a few hours.

I woke up again at 10.40am and decided to text my doctor and call my doula to let them know what had happened during the night and tell them that the period cramps were back. My doctor suspected I was in early labour and said to rest for now. My doula came a couple of hours later to check in on me. At that point I was feeling fine again and the cramping was really mild. Nevertheless, we decided to take a long walk to see if things could pick up but the cramping remained the same. My doula eventually left and I just took my time on the couch watching Modern Family (best show I could have picked for my third – and fourth – trimester!) all afternoon. At around 8pm I started to feel cramps come and go. I guess this must have been the start of my labour but at that stage I had no idea if they were actually the real deal as they were still quite mild but started coming and going as opposed to the constant heaviness and cramping I felt earlier on in the day. I called my doula again and she arrived about an hour later. At that point the sensations were still very tolerable so we ordered pizzas and resumed binge watching Modern Family. There came a point though when I started to lose my focus due the intensity of the surges. At this stage I had already set up the Freya app and was breathing in and out with every surge.

At around midnight I started to lose my mucus plug and that’s when we all started to get excited. The next few hours were spent breathing through surges, walking, sitting on my exercise ball, attempting to sleep (to no avail), receiving light touch massage etc. My husband and doula who were there supporting me were simply amazing throughout the whole journey.

At 4am we decided to go to the hospital to get the baby’s heart monitored as it had been 24 hours since the first cramps had started. So we packed the car just in case we needed to stay and got there just before 5am. The baby was doing fine and so was I. My contractions were looking quite strong so they said we could check in to our room if we wanted to. I was only 1cm dilated though but I only learned this after the birth as I had asked not to be informed of the dilation process. I didn’t want to be stressing out over dilation or time but instead wanted to just take the journey as it came and try my best to be fully present.

My husband and doula took care of making the room comfortable and cosy (closed curtains, fairy lights, diffuser with essential oils, positive affirmation cards etc) and ensured I was fed and hydrated throughout the process. By 5.30am I was all set up, sitting on my exercise ball with my noise cancelling headphones on listening to nature sounds (the same track I used to meditate during my pregnancy) and breathing with every surge. At this point I had passed the Freya app on to my husband and doula as I wanted to keep my eyes closed and not break my focus. So I would just say the word ‘start’ whenever I felt a surge coming and ‘ok’ whenever it ended and they would manage the app.

I was left alone for most of the next few hours. Although my doula wanted to encourage me to move my body, she saw that I was peaceful and in the zone just sitting on my ball with my headphones on, my eyes shut and quietly repeating in my head something I had read in Ina May’s book on childbirth: ‘I am going to get huge’ Haha! A midwife came in twice to monitor me and respected my wish not to move off my ball and attached the monitor to my belly while I sat there. Things really unfolded beautifully. There were times even when I was able to enjoy a few surges until my focus was broken by something (the need to drink, eat, pee etc). At 8am I was apparently at 5cm and after a long hug with my husband just before 9am, I felt a really strong surge, minor fluid loss and then all of a sudden the need to push. My doula rushed to get a midwife who, after checking me, confirmed I was a full 10cm and baby’s head was coming down. I felt like a true lioness when she looked at me and said in her Turkish accent ‘Don’t push. We need to get you to the delivery room right away. Your baby is coming’. I was amazed and proud of myself. Everyone thought I wouldn’t be giving birth until the afternoon.

Anyhow, the only downside to the story is that I wasn’t able to try a pool birth because it had not been filled up since they weren’t expecting me to progress so fast, and my doctor who was travelling from outside of town missed the birth. But I didn’t let that get me down and kept repeating to myself as they rushed me to the delivery room ‘Trust in the process, things are working out perfectly and just how they are meant to’. That just about got me to the delivery room. Then I lost all control of the mental work I had going on during the first phase of labour. While I was able to practice meditation and use positive affirmations throughout my pregnancy to get myself ready for the surges, I hadn’t really gotten any practice on how to push a baby out and had no idea what I was meant to do even though I had a lot of guidance from the midwives and my doula. But we managed eventually! All in all, it took 1 hour. I tried various positions (squatting, all fours, using a birth stool) but the most comfortable for me was actually on my back. The chair was lifted to its highest upright position for me, so it actually felt like I was giving birth in a recliner chair. At 10.10am our beautiful baby girl was born and put on my chest for some skin to skin time. I birthed my placenta about 10 minutes later and received two small stitches before returning to our room and reuniting with my husband and baby.

The pushing phase was definitely the hardest part for me and the one that left me feeling after the birth like I could have done better (no idea why). But it was a dream birth in its own way: totally unmedicated, peaceful, minimal tearing (I owe this to my husband for helping me with perennial massage) and extremely empowering. I am so grateful for the experience A big thanks to the PBC for all the tools I learned from their courses!