Birth story - Mum and baby boy

I go back and forth between feeling positive and negative about my experience but I can say for certain all of the positive experiences I had during my labour, were thanks to the Digital Pack and my labour wouldn't have been the same without it. The breathing was incredibly important and a willing birth partner that takes the course seriously.

I definately read a lot of these in the lead up to birth and was particularly anxious at having a "high risk" birth with more potential for intervention. I would have found a story like this helpful as there was a lot I feel wasnt talked about that I was unprepared for in terms of consultant led care and gestational diabetes. Sorry if its a bit waffley, I also cant remember it that well as I was really sleep deprived so jumps around a bit.

I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at my 28 week glucose tolerance test, I was already "consultant led due to high BMI." Unluckily for me my BMI was about 0.5 over the threshold and my glucose tolerance test results were just above the limit.... I lost weight during my early pregnancy due to poor appetite and was just starting to gain after indulging in lots of carbohydrate cravings so gestational diabetes was absolutely brutal for me.

Anyway in Scotland the guidance is to not go past 40 weeks. I was offered the induction at my 38 week appointment for 39+2 and by this point was so miserable monitoring sugars and being in clinic constantly that I agreed. I found it strange that they asked me four times to examine me and perform a sweep during the appointment and seemed perplexed at my refusal. I knew my baby wasnt ready.

I went in on April fools for my induction and had the pessary inserted at around 4pm, my cervix was forward but not dilated yet. Unfortunately for me (couldnt seem to catch a break the whole pregnancy) this triggered contractions that by the second pessary required constant concentration on up breathing with little effect on dilation.

I believe some of this was environment related - I was caught quite offguard at labouring in a 4 bedded bay with 3 new mums babies crying and swapping horror stories. In the evening my husband wasnt allowed to stay so I spent the night pacing the hospital grounds with him and my mum and sitting in the main atrium. By around 3am they were quite strong and the midwife offered a sweep as I was barely even 1cm and I accepted.

Things stalled whenever I was inside or being monitored so back out I went. I tried lying down to sleep a few times but couldnt get comfortable enough so by the morning I was utterly exhausted with surges now coming almost back to back some as long as 5 minutes long (!). From about 7am I stayed behind my curtains in the hypnobirthing zone. I had tried some clary sage and liquid yoga spray at some point which really helped but the midwife took this away when a preterm lady was admitted during the night which is understandable.

At this point I accepted some dihydrocdeine tablets and also had a good cry asking for my husband to be allowed in (male partners only allowed in from 11am til 9pm) as I was so uncomfortable and he was really good at keeping me calm and getting me back to green (I was mostly amber at this point) The lovely dayshift midwife got me a bath ready and my husband was allowed in there with me. I spent TWO glorious HOURS half asleep in the bath holding onto the bars and it was the best I felt, my poor husband was asleep beside me on a chair bless him.

Eventually I came out to find a sideroom had become available and this really lifted my spirits. Got checked an hour later and I was 3cm and able to have my waters broken finally! I walked down to the delivery suite taking regular breaks to breathe. Had lots of comments by the midwives at how good my breathing control was. (Also really useful during checks)

Got settled in and onto the wireless monitoring bouncing happily on my ball. After having my power nap and getting to have my husband with me I was a new woman laughing and joking between contractions. Had my waters broken about 4pm with multiple comedically large gushes (great relief) and started on syntocinon shortly after (by this point I was absolutely exhausted and didnt feel like negotiating - in hindsight I should have asked my partner to discuss delaying a couple hours with them to see if things went along on their own)

Things really quickly intensifed on the syntocinon and I went into myself. Baby was not happy on the ball with his heartrate slow to recover so ended up standing leaning over the end of bed for a good while. Much to my disappointment no pool allowed due to the drip (after the relief of the bath I was desperate for it) managed til about 6pm and then needed gas and air to take the edge off. I was nil by mouth once in delivery and developed ketones at one point in my urine and was allowed lucozade only which sucked. Then my sugars spiked and it was ice water only which was HEAVEN. I remember moaning every time it wasnt ice cold to my husband and asking for fresh stuff.

I got a bit loopy for a while on the gas and air, was seeing a different colour each breath and having a ball. The drip was turned up (no one told me) and all I remember is saying I want to go back to when the gas and air was fun 😂, it still took the edge off but nowhere near as much. I began to get really restless and couldnt find a comfortable position and ended up sitting up in the bed for a while. The midwives changed over at this point and again the midwife turned up the drip without informing me.

I began to feel things intensify and asked to be checked, the midwife kept putting me off saying I wasnt due til 10pm but eventually gave in after me begging to be checked around 9pm I think and I was 6cm. This was very upsetting as by this point I was completely exhausted from barely sleeping or eating the entire time. I also think this was when I vomited. Deep down I knew I was transitioning but doubted it because of the 6cm. I really needed to pee at this point which I managed and got hit with a horrible surge on the way back and didnt have my gas and air.

I believe the syntocinon went up one last time and a clip placed on babies head for monitoring at this point. I asked what else I could have as things were incredibly intense and I was barely getting breaks between surges and the gas and air was only really helping me focus my breathing. Things were definately stalled at red on the traffic light system 😂I was offered diamorphine and accepted.

I was left alone with my husband and mum while they went to get it and things changed really quickly and I felt a very intense need to push and I think ended up rolling over and biting my mums coat whilst giving a good old roar trying not to😂 This movement caused the clip to come out so baby temporarily wasnt monitored and midwives very keen to get him back on due to his previous heart rate drops. At this point they had me on my back which was so uncomfortable and I was telling them sorry but I had to push. Despite this they still insisted on giving the diamorphine which was far too late... I was checked and his head was visible so cleared to push.

I abandoned the gas and air at this point as once I stopped resisting all I felt was pressure and the gas and air was just a hindrance and made it harder to concentrate. I flipped over on the bed so I was on my knees and began to down breathe. Ended up doing some coached panting as he was crowning as things were so fast. Surges halted once he was crowning which felt quite strange and with one last push my baby boy arrived 9:42pm so less than an hour from being 6cm.

We had immediate skin to skin and I delivered the placenta naturally (even had to argue with the midwife about not wanting the injection even though the doctors had agreed I could try). Unfortunately I had a very small grade 3a tear and ended up needing a spinal in theatre for repair after my golden hour. This is when my diamorphine kicked in, had a fantastic sleep whilst being stitched but needed nasal o2. (The best sleeps of the newborn life were the bath and theatre). Quickly reunited with baby in recovery and had some lovely tea and toast. Stayed for a few days for breastfeeding support and jaundice. This was all a total blur I cant remember a single conversation I had with the various teams that saw me, definately bring a pad and pen and get them to write it down!!!

All in all the breathing was so incredibly useful and all the videos helped to give me the confidence to ask for what I wanted and question decisions. Despite a fairly difficult experience (staff not believing I was ready to push, husband forgetting to bring me to green once we were in delivery) I still find myself looking back on things positively and in awe of managing the dreaded syntocinon (which all of the internet says needs an epidural) on just breathing and gas and air. Thank you so much. I would recommend the course to any pregnant friend and will be using it for any future children (hopefully midwife led for the dream waterbirth).