Birth story - Michelle and baby Nova

My birth was nothing like what I had imagined it would be.

I discovered Hypnobirthing quite early in my pregnancy and my husband and I spent a lot of time reading books and doing a course together in order to prepare us. We had planned an all natural water birth at an along side birthing centre. But during my pregnancy I was diagnosed with worry based anxiety, which had increased exponentially with my pregnancy. Hypnobirthing was a truly useful tool which helped us manage a lot of my anxiety.

When I hit 38 weeks it became clear to us that my anxiety was becoming more and more difficult to manage. I was trying my hardest to enjoy the last weeks of the pregnancy and not fixate on my due date but after 40 weeks I was in a daily battle with my anxiety and becoming increasing upset and frustrated. I had also almost daily episode of start stop labour with up to two hours of regular surges which eventually stopped for no reason.

At 41 weeks we made the decision to proceed with an induction for the sake of my mental health. The decision to proceed with an induction meant that the birth centre was no longer an option. I thought that this would derail our entire birth plan but it did not.

The morning of my induction, as my husband drove us to the hospital, I felt calm and in control and I knew we would have the opportunity to implement aspects of our plan. At the hospital we were given a lovely spacious room. We were encouraged to set the lighting to our preferences, play music and were given aromatherapy oils to diffuse.

When my surges began I was ecstatic! I was in labour! It was finally happening and we still had a lovely cosy environment and both my husband and I felt calm and in control. Once I was in established labour I was moved to a room with a pool and I was over the moon that I was still going to have a major part of my birth preferences to experience despite the induction.

Unfortunately the warm water did not agree with me and after an hour I had to get out of the pool as my blood pressure and pulse dropped. After that we hit a pretty hairy few hours as I was put on fluids to get my pulse and blood pressure up and I spent a lot of the time in my own world using my breathing to manage the surges. They were coming thick and fast and I was struggling through them. After a very long time managing the surges with my breathing, and pushing through, my husband and I made the difficult decision to proceed with an epidural. I was simply not coping with the pain and being 4cm dilated, I still had a very long way to go.

Once the epidural kicked in my husband and I were relived to have a break and we managed to get a couple hours sleep whilst we waited for my body to dilate. The midwives recommended that we allowed 3 hours before they checked my progress and when they did they would hope to see me at 6cm. When the time came for the check I was so nervous. I was worried nothing had happened and that they would start talking about taking further interventions. I held my breath during the examination and kept positive that I would be 6cm. When the midwife was done she as beaming a massive smile and I immediately knew it was good news, maybe I was 8cm? No, I was a full 10cm dilated and it would soon be time to push! I was again over the moon with joy and immediately felt such validation in our decision to have the epidural.

When the time came to push I was worried that I wouldn't feel anything and that I would have to lie on my back the whole time. I couldn't have been more wrong. The midwives helped move me into a kneeling position to begin with and throughout they were really helpful in suggesting different positions, helping to move my legs whenever needed. We had also kept my epidural dosage low so that once I started pushing I started to feel my surges again, but not as strongly as before. My two main concerns about the epidural were completely gone within minutes of pushing.

I pushed for a full two hours, giving it my absolute all to birth my baby girl. At two hours the midwives called for a doctor to examine me as I was loosing energy. The doctor advised us that the baby's chin was not tucked and that it would take a lot more pushing before I would be able to deliver her on my own. I didn't have much energy left and she suggest to my husband that we proceed with an episiotomy and a forceps delivery. The two things that were absolutely not an option on my birth preferences. At this point I was too exhausted to make a decision, I asked my husband to make it for me. I told him that I trusted him to make the right decision.

He used B.R.A.I.N. and asked the doctor if we could rather try a ventouse without an episiotomy. The doctor pushed back and said the baby's head was already swollen and it was unlikely to work. My husband trusted his instincts and pushed back again and clarified that there was still a chance that it would work, the doctor said yes and my husband stood his ground and refused the forceps and insisted that we try the ventouse first. He gave the doctor consent to perform a small episiotomy only if it was required and asked her not to tell me it was happening, knowing that if I knew it was coming I would panic.

Two pushes later and our baby girls head was born, shouting the most beautiful scream I had ever heard along the way. I leaned down and pulled her the rest of the way, onto my chest and cried with happiness and relief.

My husband 100% made the right decision for me and our baby and I am so proud of him for trusting his instincts and insisting the doctor respect our wishes.

I know that this may sound like a horrible birth story but it honestly wasn't. We felt calm and in control the entire time and I believe that this was because of all our Hypnobirthing practices. We ended up with experiences that we thought would devastate us, or ruin our birth, but it was the complete opposite. We felt empowered and powerful in our decision making and loved my birth from start to finish.

I hope that our story will show other women that even if you are faced with decisions you hope to never have to make it does not need to be negative and it does not mean that you can't have a wonderfully positive birth.