Birth story - Mary and baby Maisie

*Trigger Warning* - use of the word contraction, talk of pain (back labor), failed gas and air

So it started when I woke up with contractions at 2 am in the 24th that weren’t too awful but bad enough that I couldn’t sleep through them. I stayed up and breathed through them for the rest of the night, not waking my husband, Dave, because I wasn’t convinced it was real labor yet. I started tracking the surges with the Freya app and using up breathing.

I texted my mom at 5 am to let her know what was going on since she was going to be another support person for me. She suggested I let Dave sleep and continue to monitor the contractions.

Throughout the day it was more of less the same with irregular contractions. My mom ended up coming over around 12 pm with food so she was taking care of me while Dave was working from home. I spent the next few hours trying to watch tv, eat, go for walks, anything to help distract from the contraction pains which were all in my lower back. I also took a bath and a shower in this time, trying to labor at home as long as possible as it was part of it birth preferences to have an unmedicated labor and I still was not convinced they were real because they weren’t very regular and still not intense enough that I couldn’t speak.

By around 4 pm they picked up in intensity but were never super consistent- between 2-8 minutes apart. Dave stopped working around this time and I called the midwife on call at our hospital to let her know I might be coming in tonight. The intensity kept ramping up so we decided to eat dinner and then slowly make our way to the hospital.

We got to the hospital around 10 pm where I went to triage. The doctor who examined me also really made me believe it was still very early labor (saying that maybe they’d do a membrane sweep and send me home if I was at least 1 cm) but after he checked me he saw I was 5cm dilated and 100% effaced- they were admitting me! I felt such relief that the whole day of contractions had actually been productive and that I was really in labor! The doctor also let me know baby was sunny side up, explaining all the back labor.

Triage took a while so when we finally got settled into the l&d room it was around midnight. We luckily got the one room with a tub in my hospital so my mom filled the tub up while Dave provided counter pressure through every contraction (mostly squeezing my hips, sometimes rubbing my back). The midwife also set up tea lights in our room and dimmed all the lights for us. We also put on a playlist I had made so I could relax. The tub felt amazing! The pain from contractions was there still but I could actually rest in between them in the water. I asked to try the nitrous oxide so a nurse set that up while I was in the tub. I got out and tried it but found it difficult to breathe in the air with the mask on so I gave it up and kept going with the up breathing and counter pressure from my husband / mom.

Sometime between 1-2 things got really intense. Every new position brought on strong back contractions so I got a little scared of them. I went back in the tub and also tried a shower. Both helped a bit but not too much. I asked for another cervical check and I was now 7 cm. I definitely hit transition at this time because I had a real “I don’t think I can do this” moment which my mom now says was the scariest part for her. I asked the nurse if I could try morphine or fentanyl in my iv and she said it was too late because it stays in your system for longer than 2 hours and she thought we’d be done by then. So this was both a relief and scary. I just focused on how I would most likely be meeting my baby in 2 hours time. She said let’s try the NO again and this is where we discovered- the one I had been trying was an empty tank!! 🙃 which was why it was so difficult to breathe in lol. She tried replacing the tank but it was setting of some sort of alarm in the machine so it was beeping incessantly and they didn’t know how to fix it so I ended up being like forget it!! Take it away!! lol

I was sitting upright in a chair at this point and was pretty afraid to move. I knew the position wasn’t ideal but moving would bring on so much pain I just stayed where I was. I was really bracing myself through the contractions and the midwife was telling me I should try and not do that because I was making it worse. I knew she was right but I could not stop myself which scared me too. Dave and my mom just kept giving me counter pressure while I labored like that. I thought for sure I’d throw up on one of them but luckily I never did lol.

They wanted to try ribzzo (sp?) on me to try and move baby into a more optimal position. So two nurses came in and asked me to get on my knees and lean over the bed, which I did very reluctantly because it brought on so much pain. They stood on either side of me and put a sheet under my belly and shook it back and forth for a bit? Somehow- this got her to move into the more optimal position!

I went back to the chair for a bit and the midwife had told us “call me if you feel the need to poop”. So when that came I just said it out loud and my mom called the midwife in. She needed to do a check to see where I was at so I had to go back to the bed which was difficult. She checked me and said I was close to 10 cm but there was still a lip so to try to not push. But at this point my body completely took over and there was no way I could not push. I was pushing and yelling out which I totally did not expect but it was so primal. She asked that I try to breathe in certain ways to slow down so I tried that. After only a contraction or two more she checked me again and I was fully dilated which was a huge relief. So she told me to just let my body take over and do whatever it said- which for me was pushing and yelling out in kind of a roar lol. The best way I can describe what it was like to push was that it was just like when you have to throw up and you don’t want to but you cannot stop. That’s what it was like and I was sure I would throw up, poop, and push the baby out all at the same time.

Pushing took 40 mins total and it was the wildest experience of my life. I pulled Dave’s hair and even bit him at one point. I started out on my knees with my arms over the bed and my mom and Dave each holding a hand but they started to get concerned about babies heart rate so eventually I was moved to my back which was not how I wanted to give birth but at this point I didn’t care at all lol. I was so desperate for baby to be out. My waters still hadn’t broken so once I was fully dilated the midwife said she was going to use something to manually break my waters between contractions. I didn’t feel this at all but apparently she did it lol.

So my mom held one of my legs and Dave held my hand and I was looking at him and yelling when I finally pushed her out!! I heard her cry and Dave looked and told me “it’s a girl! We have a daughter!” Which will forever be the highlight of my life. They put her on me immediately and dried her off. I swear everyone in the room cried - it was so nice. The whole team remarked at what a great team the three of us were.

I birthed the placenta soon after which took me actually having to think about pushing instead of just doing it but it was pretty easy. I did need stitches for a second degree tear so that took some time but I was with my baby so I didn’t mind. My mom is an LC so she was helping us to latch in this time. I was also so exhausted after not sleeping and laboring for 26 hours! So after about an hour and a half of skin to skin and some feeding, they washed her off and gave her to Dave for some skin to skin time with him.

Such a whirlwind but everything went pretty much as I wanted it to go and it was a really positive experience and also the hardest thing I’ve ever done! Recovery has been going pretty smoothly and we’re just loving our baby girl. Huge credit to Dave and my mom who helped me through every single contraction- it really did feel like a team effort and I couldn’t have had that same experience without them.

Taking this course helped so much. I watched all the videos with my mom and my husband and the three of us being on the same page with my preferences and how I wanted the experience to go was so vital. Thank you so much 💕