Birth story - Giulia and baby Abigal

*Trigger warning* - Miscarriage, tearing, stitches and use of word contractions as not negative to me.

This took me a while cos little one doesn’t leave me much free time lol.

I found out I was pregnant almost straight away, as my breasts changed and I knew that was it. Unfortunately, last year I also had 2 miscarriages, one at 4 weeks in January and a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks in July. The 3 months scan in July was literally the day prior to my holidays back to my home country, when I was meant to tell my family the good news. My family but mainly my fiancé have been so supportive during the worst time of my life, and I told myself to have faith, that these two babies were praying too to have a little brother or sister soon.

I got pregnant in September, but we kept is secret for a while.

I was lucky enough to be at home on furlough, as I had constant nausea throughout the first 3 months.

I found out about the PBC course thanks to my midwife, who followed me through my pregnancy, who heard about this course from other women. I started it when I was almost 7 months pregnant, as I returned to work and was incredibly busy and tired. I was so thankful to have found out about this course, as I realised how unprepared I was about birth. All I knew was what’s on the movies..so basically zero!!

In my head, I thought I was going to have a baby before my due date, so I was trying to stay home and relax as much as I could, and I kept on going for nice long walks daily til almost 40 weeks.

I noticed some mucus plug around 22/23 May, so at 38 weeks, but wasn't really sure what it was at first. But the following week I kept on losing mucus plug almost every day, so I thought the day had to be close!

On 4 June, so 39+5, I had severe back pain after baby moved 45min at night, and the day after I had a pain on the left side of my belly whilst I was taking a walk. I almost couldn't breathe!

On 6 June again pain on my back, nausea and lost more mucus plug. This was my due date, based on midwife's scan.

On 7 June I experienced, around midday, some pain in my lower abdomen, but that was it.

Nothing really happened in the following days, so I was getting more and more stressed, knowing I had my 41 weeks appointment on Saturday 12th and midwifes were going to push to book induction.

The 12 June arrived, I had my midwife appointment in the morning and decided to book my induction on 41+5. I left the hospital a bit sad so , together with my fiancé , we decided to keep ourselves busy that day, still thinking that nothing was going to happen anyway.

I used to take naps after lunch every day, but on that day I was so sad and disappointed that I decided to keep myself busy with different things, and completely forgot to rest.

We also went in the late afternoon for a big shopping trip, where I randomly met my best friend who asked me loads of questions, and I felt even more depressed about the situation.

That evening my fiance and I were getting ready to watch a movie, when I felt a very mild cramp. I was in a funny mood, and after maybe 30 minutes I felt another cramp on my belly. Nothing too strong, so didn't pay much attention.

As I don’t suffer from period pain, I didn't really know what to expect from contractions.

Midwife told me to help accelerate things, sex was the answer. So I told my fiancé to give it a try. But again I had a cramp on my stomach, stronger than the previous ones.

At 11pm I finally understood that the pains I felt were contractions. They were coming every 12 - 15 minutes so decided to use Freya app which helped especially to concentrate on something else rather than the pain. The pain was so intense that I think the entire neighbourhood heard me screaming!!

The contractions kept on coming frequently, every 8 to 10 minutes, and I couldn't sleep. I took paracetamol, but it made me sick. I tried to have a bath, but didn't help. So I started using the TENS machine

At 5am Freya app said I was in established labour, so I called the hospital. As contractions were only 5/6 minutes apart, so the midwife told me to wait at home if possible, so I did.

At 6am I really couldn't bear the pain anymore, I felt sick too a couple of times, so we called again and informed them we were going in.

I got immediately assessed and was told I was only 1cm dilated. I asked for pain relief, but they told me I had to stay in the hospital attached to some machine, so decided to go back home. Also, I was informed that at that moment the birth centre was full, so I couldn't birth in the pool.

Before heading home, the midwife suggested me to check the situation and eventually try to go back to the hospital after 3 hours. So at 11am I called again and spoke, to my surprise, to my midwife, the one who followed me throughout the pregnancy (Italian like me!!). I was so relieved as she told me to go straight to birth centre and she would have assessed me. Luckily, there was one room available in the birth centre and she was going to hold it for me.

Once we got in, she checked immediately and I was 4cm already. She told me my waters were still intact so I had to be patient. I really couldn't bare the pain anymore and asked for pain relief; she suggested pethidine injection which I immediately accepted. I was exhausted, it was 30° outside, no blinds and also on that day the air conditioning was BROKEN and they had no fan available.

Luckily I had a tiny portable one. I forgot to say, the water fountain was broken too, but luckily I brought juices and water with me.

The injection made me sleep a bit but it ran out after 3hours. I kept on feeling sick and threw up a couple of times.

I was feeling so sick and was in much pain that I asked for another injection. My midwife checked me again at around 3pm and I was 7cm, so she informed me it was too late for another pethidine injection. She also asked if I realised my water broke (?) but I honestly I didn't realise at all!!

She suggested I moved to the pool, which could help with the pain and heat too. I think it was around 4pm when I got in the water, which didn't help much with the pain unfortunately, but definitely cooled me down.

Pain was worse and worse, couldn’t drink water as I was immediately feeling sick, so I tried using gas & air but it didn’t work for me.

Suddenly, I felt like emptying my bowels, and following my midwife voice, I started concentrating on my body and using up breathing.

My midwife told me that she thought it was time: unfortunately, I didn’t feel the urge to push, I could not feel my contractions much so she had to put a hand on my belly and tell me when to push. I was exhausted, had no food since the previous day and barely any water all day, it was hot and I was crying as I felt I couldn’t make it anymore.

I honestly started saying that I just couldn’t do it, inside of me I was giving up, I was pushing and pushing but I couldn’t really feel anything happening. This was until I was told the head was out!!!!

That's when something clicked in my mind: I could do it. I could do it as my body and I were strong and not afraid of anything. I used my last energy to push again until I could feel something wriggling down there..apparently she was half out..what a weird feeling!!

With the help of my fiancé and the midwife, I gave one last push and our beautiful girl came to the world at 5.59pm.

When they passed her over to me, I couldn't believe it! I just said " is she real??"

I cuddled her in the water for 30min til we decided to move to the bed as water was getting cold.

I had 2nd degree tear, and also was losing lots of blood so midwife offered injection as she was worried. Whilst I was getting stiched up, my fiance had his skin to skin. Let's say that he really didn't want to give our baby girl back to me, he couldn't stop staring at her.

They let us stay in the room til we were ready to move to postnatal ward. Not to mention, my midwife stayed after her shift to ensure I was OK. When she left, she gave me the biggest hug ever. I was so thankful for everything she did. Midwives rock!!

We ended up 2 more days at the hospital as my little princess couldn't poo, until we finally got home to start this magical chapter of our life.

I honestly don't remember now the pain I felt throughout pregnancy and labour, I just know it was strong…. And painful!!

But I would do this over and over again!

Thank you PBC course and all mums for your stories. And good luck to mums to be. Whatever happens, it's your story, yours only, and it will be just perfect.