Birth story - Mariam and baby Zola

🔥Possible triggers - gestational hypertension, induction, COVID-19 restrictions, c section

I am so grateful for all the information I gathered via the PBC course and another hypnobirthing course I did with a friend and respective partners prior to the birth of our first baby girl on 20/08/20.

My birth didn’t go as planned at all. And while it took me a while to come to terms with the experience I still consider it a positive one, and acknowledge that the information I was provided with led me to make informed decisions. I had some disappointments with medical staff and restrictions I found very challenging due to Covid 19 but overall would have never been able to cope so well was it not for the use of the hypnobirthing techniques and the knowledge I gained in the run up to Zola’s birth.

When I was 26 weeks I started a hypnobirthing course which was so interesting I purchased the PBC as well and covered the different videos several times. I always knew I wanted a water birth but would have never considered a home birth was it not for the course. Thanks to the knowledge I felt equipped at my 36 weeks midwife appointment to request a home birth and was transferred to the care of a wonderful caseload midwife team.

Sadly upon routine check ups at home a few days later I was diagnosed with gestational hypertension and, following a hospital stay, was put on medication. Using my BRAIN I resisted the induction process for over 12 days despite some pressure and instead agreed to monitoring every other day of myself and the baby at hospital. This required hours and hours spent in the Maternity Assessment Unit (MAU) but I knew it was the best solution for me as I really wanted to avoid the induction. I kept going back and forth to hospital for over 10 days spending over six to eight hours there on each visit. It was an exhausting process but I really, really wanted to avoid the induction at all cost.

At 38+5 I fainted, my BP had become erratic and despite increasing my medication, it was out of control. I understood the situation was not sustainable and spoke about my concerns over the induction process to medical professionals. I requested an appointment with the head midwife who I knew would provide me with a less “OBGYN/medicalised” point of view. She reassured me I could still try to have a positive birth experience despite the induction. With her support and that of a considerate OBGYN I used my BRAIN and agreed the induction process for the same day (18/08/20).

Sadly due to pressure on ward and Covid restrictions I was only induced 24h later (19/08/20) after a sleepless night on the ward and my partner was only able to join me once I was 5cm dilated which ended up being the following day (20/08/20). I wasn’t able to access a pool until then, and by the time I could have my surges were so intense I accepted the only pain relief the ante natal ward would offer at this time - morphine. My surges were coming in every minute for at least 2-3h before the Midwifes agreed to examine me. However I was able to stay upright, active, zone out with my positive affirmations and my Freya app on via my headphones, bounce on my birthing ball and insist on being examined despite the reluctance of the two night shift Midwife’s when I knew I had been in established labour a couple of hours already at least. I tried to make my environment as comfortable as possible, used my ten machine and a hot water bottle. Staying relaxed and in soothing environment was a real challenge as I was in the induction room with another two women labouring as well. I felt pretty scared and lonely in the middle of the night and those hours felt like the longest in the world (between 3am-6am) but I tried to repeat the mantra every second, every surge, is bringing me closer to meeting my baby.

Eventually at 6am, more than 15h after my induction started I was moved to the labour ward and my partner was able to join me after my water broke and I was considered dilated enough.

At that stage my surges were so intense (I believe it is true that induced labour can be a lot more intense) I felt I couldn’t cope. I had had no sleep for over 48h and remembered what the senior consultant midwife told me - she advised me to take the epidural before the syntocin drip was inserted. At that stage, I’m not going to lie I didn’t even think I had an option, I had to accept the epidural particularly as there was, to my great disappointment, no bath available in the labour room and because I had had the morphine I knew they wouldn’t allow me in the pool had it been available. The epidural provided me with some almost immediate relief and I was optimistic about the rest of the birth, explaining to my midwife I wanted to birth on my side not my back and wanted the telemetry machine to remain as mobile as possible. I would have never been able to request this had I not done my research. She agreed to this. My partner advocated for minimal disruptions and people in the room to allow me maximum rest while they switched on the drip.

Sadly a few hours later, I developed an infection and a fever which the midwife spotted as my behaviour changed almost instantly to being more aggressive and by the afternoon, the baby’s heart rate was slowing down. Doctors were concerned. At that stage it was 1700, I had been in labour for over 20h and induced about 31h prior to then. The doctor agreed to delay my examination and discuss options should I have been found not to be dilated enough. Sadly at 1730 I was found to be still at 7cm. At that stage I asked for ten minutes (well I tried to ask for them to stop the process for two days to allow me to sleep and start again but they politely said that was not possible 😂) to reflect and come to terms with the situation I was facing.

I used my BRAIN and discussed with my partner our options, we agreed the c section as I felt it was the best option to get her out safely and help my recovery. I also felt I could trust the team and agreed to it on the condition they would perform it before the end of their shift as we had been working together for almost 12h now. Within 10min I was whizzed to the OR, I asked for a natural C section with delayed cord clamping and immediate skin on skin. The atmosphere in the OR was jovial and they made me and my partner very at ease. They granted me all this and at 1825 Zola opened her eyes to the world for the first time. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

I was able to have uninterrupted skin on skin with her and a first very long breastfeed (almost 3h) before we were moved to the post natal ward and had to say bye to daddy.

I was imagining a natural soothing water birth at home. I ended up being induced in the midst of a global health pandemic and having the most médicalised birth I could have ever thought of. But I can genuinely say that while it took me a while to come to terms with how the situation unravelled and many many tears, it was the first lesson my daughter taught me, that sometimes things don’t go to plan and sadly the only thing you can do is try to do what’s in your best interest and have the knowledge to make informed decisions at the time. This is what I feel I did, and thanks to the PBC.

Hope this post will give those of you who didn’t have the dream birth experience the courage to process your emotions and see that some positive can come out of all experiences.

Despite the challenges that often come with c-section and breastfeeding, I am so pleased to report that Zola is feeding really well and has been able to kick off her jaundiced which is often characteristic of babies born via c section. I believe this would have not been possible without the uninterrupted first breastfeed post c section.