Birth story - Maheswary and baby Nivandhan

This is my second pregnancy and I was super excited to have the birth well planned. The first childbirth, I had no complication but, I had no control of myself and had a very poor knowledge of pregnancy and birthing. I was treated like a robot and did what the doctor and midwife told me. So, this time I was thrilled to have a thorough birth plan and I wished for a complete natural delivery with no medical interventions.

After the initial confirmation of pregnancy, we made a detailed study and checked with our friends about birthing, hospital, and which doctor to consult. With a lot of deliberations and study, we finalized a hospital, though it did not have water-birthing, a wish I was longing for. But I compromised, since I was very comfortable with the doctor, and I was pushing her to try water birthing with me, for which she eventually said no. During the study, I got to know about the Hypnobirthing through my cousin. So, I started reading a lot of books about it during the initial stage of pregnancy, some I read more than twice, since I was so much in love with them. My partner was equally excited in my decision and he was ready to prepare himself. He also read a book to make himself aware of the hypnobirthing. He supported me through the entire journey.

Much of my first and second trimester went normal and the detailed diet plan helped me to have a balanced diet, involving fresh seasonal fruits and nuts and freshly cooked meals. Also swimming and prenatal yoga helped me to stay fit and active during the entire course of pregnancy.

During the third trimester (32 weeks), me and my partner did an online hypnobirthing course to refresh and fully equip ourselves and I practiced breathing and affirmations thrice a week. When I was 38 weeks, I started practicing them every day. With all these studies and practices, I was very confident and looking towards birth amidst this Covid restrictions. Covid-19 didn’t affect me by anyways earlier because we are out of our country and we didn’t plan to bring anyone from our country for help.

Later during 34 weeks I got to know about the change in hospital regulations and found birth partners were not allowed at all. I was disappointed and crying for a couple of days. I started checking with other hospitals if they allow partner because it was my wish to have my hubby during birth. It was not fulfilled for my first delivery and so I couldn’t take the disappointment this time as well.

And after a week somehow I made up my mind to accept the reality and tell myself, ‘I can do this alone.’

Then during my 36 week visit I decided to talk to the doctor and make a request.

Fortunately, our doctor accepted my birth partner due to language problems that we have in this country. This made all my worries fly away and got me back on track. I was informed that my cervix was very soft and ready for birthing. She told me that baby may not wait till my due date, he may arrive around the first week of May.

On 37 weeks 2 days had my bloody show. Which made me and my hubby excited I was eagerly waiting everyday, ‘Is this the day?’ Practicing all breathing and tracks every evening. I had a mensural cramp every evening but no other symptoms. Days passed and I reached 40 weeks. I had my appointment on 40 weeks 2 days (18th May) for an ultrasound. I did not want to go for the ultrasound because I had only one on 20 weeks and I wasn’t interested in anymore ultrasounds to avoid unnecessary confusions ( weight, position etc). One day before the appointment on Sunday as usual I had cramps but it was in morning. And it was not just one it was a few during the daytime. I guessed maybe this would be the day and so I did all the pending household chores and around 5:30 in the evening I had my real bloody show (a lot). Then I informed my partner that maybe today is the day. He was excited. Then he went to do some last minute shopping, completed the hospital bag packing and informed our daughter that anytime during the night we may wake her up to take her to the hospital (we had to take her along with us as we couldn’t leave her anywhere due to Covid).

After losing the mucus the intensity increased and it was no more like cramps and was like surges so I started timing them from 6:30 PM. It was pretty much manageable. We put our girl to bed early and me and my partner had dinner together (he bought my favorite food from my fav restaurant) and watched a series which we used to watch everyday but I couldn’t do it more than 30 min I wanted to concentrate on my surges. I was walking a lot and informed my doctor about the same time. I wanted to get some sleep went to bed at 10:30 then the intensity increased and I couldn’t sleep more than 30 min. I insisted my partner should sleep as I he may not get proper sleep later. But as he was equally excited he couldn’t sleep either.

Around 1AM in the morning I woke up and started walking around. The surges were bearable and I thought I wasn’t in established labor. Around 2:30 the surges were two 2 min apart, but the duration was 30-40 Sec which was still bearable. We decided to go to hospital when the surges were 60 sec duration. Around 3:30 it was still same, so I decided to go to hospital. We reached hospital around 3:45 AM

I walked to emergency and my cervix was checked for the dilation. Luckily, my prenatal doctor’s assistant was there on the shift which made everything easy. Because, we have language issue and birth preferences are not given priority over hospital protocols. And during the cervix check I requested her not to inform me about the progress as I was afraid it would disappoint me in case I had not gone to active labor yet. After the check, the assistant asked me “was I sure I did not want to know about the progress?”. I said “unless it is more than 6cm pls don’t let me know”. To my surprise she told me that I was fully dilated, and that baby would come any moment. I was super excited and happy to hear this. At the time she was surprised to see me in so much control, calm and cool. She asked me how it was possible and whether I could teach her the technique! I was able to fill in my forms and walk to the labor room.

Once I reached the Labor room I felt the intensity Increase, which was around 4:20AM. I walked back and forth, kept changing my positions but never went on the bed. In 15 min or so I felt like pushing and so I asked my hubby to call the midwife. I actually wanted to breathe down which I was keenly looking forward to but that moment my body directed me to push. I squatted down with my hands supporting on my hubby. In the next few contractions our boy came out around 5:10 AM.

My husband did a delayed cord clamping and I delivered the placenta naturally. It was a great experience I felt so accomplished.

The funny part was I had to have 4/5 stitches which were horribly painful and while I was shouting at the doctor she said, ‘it seems you need an epidural for stitches and not for delivery.’

I wish I had known about hypnobirthing during my first delivery. Giving birth is such a bliss and enjoyable and empowering experience. Even I was ready to give birth to another baby though I decided NO after experiencing sleepless nights in fourth trimester!

From then on, I have been insisting and informing all my friends to do hypnobirthing as its not so common in my country.