Birth story - Amelia and baby Margot

My first daughter was born after a gruelling 32 hours of labour. After hours at home I got into hospital to find I was only 1cm dilated. The pain was unbearable and I ended up having an epidural (the best decision of my life - the relief was incredible!) I had my beautiful daughter with the help of a ventouse. I had stitches due to my episiotomy and a few days after birth a few of the stitches re-opened. I got an infection and was on antibiotics only days after giving birth. I decided that when I had my second it would be completely different to that - not that I had a choice how it would go…or that's what I thought at least! Then I read the hypnobirthing book!

A few days before my 36 week appointment I had started to consider a home birth. With the restrictions still in place in hospitals due to coronavirus and having a toddler at home - I started to wonder if this was actually the best option for me. I had been reading the hypnobirthing book and despite thinking "I'll never be able to do that" I thought maybe giving home birthing a go would be a good idea! The hypnobirthing book had given me a sense of motivation and confidence that I definitely didn't have the first time round. My midwife told me that it was the last chance to properly register for a home birth so I decided to go ahead with it!

The next 4 weeks were spent ramping up my hypnobirthing techniques and deciding how I wanted my birth to be. I got to 40 weeks with my playlist ready, candles waiting on the side (with a lighter next to it - I didn't need that stress on the day!), snacks in the cupboard, a birthing pool which we tested a week or so earlier and everything else we thought we needed to make the experience "enjoyable". We tried the light touch massage and my husband read me the passages at the back of the book. These were both really nice ways to chill me out but we definitely didn't do them often enough. After a long day heavily pregnant and looking after the world's most active toddler in the midst of a pandemic I really just wanted to sit on the sofa and watch TV.

My due date came and went and I started feeling a bit panicked that baby wouldn't come on time and I'd have to start making decisions about sweeps and inductions. I had my 40 week appointment, having only just finished the book (the first one I have actually read the whole way through since my daughter was born!) and went home feeling slightly disheartened. It was a Friday and I thought I'll just enjoy the weekend. Saturday was a very normal day and I went to bed absolutely exhausted. The most tired I had felt for weeks. I actually remember texting my sister and saying "it will happen tonight because I am so tired".

I woke up at midnight, rolled over (I say that as if it was quick and easy but I was more like a beached whale trying to get off the sand) and got up to go for a wee. As I walked to the toilet my waters broke and I had a moment of relief knowing that it was finally happening. I went into my husband (who was asleep on the sofa as I snore terribly when pregnant) to tell him and we chatted about what next. I called the midwives to let them know and settled back down to go to sleep. I told my husband to go back to sleep in the living room so that he was well rested.

My contractions started 45 minutes later. From 12:30 - 3 they were coming about every 5 minutes but I was just breathing through them by myself in our bedroom. From 3 - 4 they started coming every 4ish minutes and at 4am I decided to get my husband. We called the midwives again who said to just carry on for now as the home birth midwives were at other jobs. I got my tens machine out (the boost button is the best thing to have ever existed) started bouncing on my ball and spent the whole time walking around our bedroom. I didn't want to wake our daughter so I didn't bother with music and didn't light candles...I just carried on breathing.

After 5 I insisted we put the pool up, despite my husband being convinced it was too early but he finally gave in. I texted my mum at 6am asking her to come and get my daughter (as she was acting as our support bubble) She arrived quickly and I helped bundle her up in her big winter coat and a bag full of necessities, not knowing how long it would be. I managed to give my daughter a kiss and a cuddle, in between my contractions (which were ramping up now!). By 6:30 I felt myself have a wobble and thought "can I actually do this?!", by 7 she had left and by 7:55 I had Margot.

It all feels like a blur but I remember getting on the bed on all fours and explaining to my husband that I didn't think we had long. We called the midwives and they were trying to get them to come out to me. Suddenly we were calling 999 as I was convinced it was time. I could feel her moving further down into the birth canal. It was the most incredible and strange feeling. By 7:15 the paramedics arrived - 2 men, one older and one younger. I didn't see either of their faces until after she had been born. I was on all fours on the floor at the end of the bed, facing my husband, biting the nozzle of the gas and air (don't do this - it really hurts your jaw for a few days after!) And with a few big pushes out she came. I remember the paramedic suggesting that we moved to hospital but I knew it was time so just started pushing instead.

She was passed up to me and I said hello to the paramedics (the younger looked like a deer in headlights - I'm not convinced he'd ever been to a birth before). I will never forget the face of the older man (Paul) - he was just amazing. It was weird not being allowed to hug him (coronavirus) given that he had just delivered my daughter.

The midwives arrived and Margot and I were well looked after by all. It is safe to say that this book was an absolute game changer for me. It allowed me to believe in myself and my abilities. I didn't use all the techniques - only the breathing and listened to 2 songs from my playlist before the noise was just too much. I never lit my candle or even got in my pool. But I breathed through my contractions, mainly by myself, and kept upright for as much time as physically possible. Honestly it is was a wonderful experience - this is something I never thought I would be able to say.