Birth story - Madeleine and baby Anton

I gave birth two times before spontaneously and although these births weren’t traumatic I was somehow disappointed by them when they ended. I had extremely strong pain in my lower back and was so disappointed that labour took forever. Mentally I wasn’t in a good place during my first two births. Since this was supposed to be my last pregnancy I purchased the digital pack to be as best prepared as I could this time around.

From week 20 I watched the videos and prepared myself with a daily routine of affirmations and breathing exercise. I wrote my preferences and talked them through with my midwife at the hospital. I experienced some serious Braxton Hicks from 37 weeks on and was convinced this baby would come early. But I went on to almost 40 weeks when my waters broke during a film with my older children in the early afternoon.

I started listening to the relaxing piano music and said some of the affirmations in my mind when the first few surges arrived. They were totally manageable and I was surprised how well up breathing worked for me. I didn’t use the Freya app since I got distracted by it. We called the babysitter and drove 6 minutes to the hospital. We arrived around 4pm and I was so happy to see the midwife I spoke to before because I had a really good feeling about her and she understood my preferences. I could choose a delivery room and opted for the one with the birth pool since I really wanted to birth my last baby in the water. I got tested for Covid 19, which was negative and so was my husbands test so he could join me about two hours later.

During his wait I got an additional scan to estimate baby’s weight and check the heart rate. The midwife then checked my cervix and just how I wanted to - didn’t tell me how far I was. Instead she told me that everything was just perfectly soft and baby’s head was already putting a lot of pressure on my cervix. This was pushing my mood to an absolute high and I was just so over emotional and happy to meet my baby soon. I kept listening to my piano music and repeated my favorite affirmations “The birth of my baby will be beautiful“ and “I inhale peace and exhale tension“. When surges got stronger the discomfort in my lower back and lower belly got more and more I asked for some painkillers and had Buscopan and Paracetamol which didn’t really change anything.

It was change of shifts and a different very young midwife introduced herself and asked how I preferred my birth and everything. At this point I was actually thinking about an epidural because the discomfort on my lower back got more and more unbearable. The new midwife told me she knew about my preferences of not knowing how far dilated I was. But she went on telling me she prefers an open and honest base and doesn’t want me to have too high expectations. So she just went on telling me that my cervix had just been at ONE centimeter at the last check and that she wouldn’t consider myself being in active Labour and this state could go on for days. At this moment I could hardly keep myself together. I could manage to tell her how demotivating that comment just was. She left the room to get some other painkillers for me and I just broke down telling my husband in tears that I want a c-section and that I can’t do another endless labour with that much pain in my lower back again. He was so calm and supportive and told me it is my body and my decision but that I should think about my dream to birth our baby in the water. It took so much strength and willpower to get out of that hole the midwife had pushed me into with her inconsiderate comment but I eventually made it. I actually got a bit bitchy and told my husband that I would have my baby that day no matter what to prove her wrong.

I kept on labouring using up breathing and an UFO position since I could really feel the baby pushing more and more down with each surge. At one point I got really grumpy to both my husband and the midwife that I really didn’t care anymore and wanted an epidural because I was really tired and just wanted to sleep. Somewhere deep in my mind I thought I might be in transition because my surges changed as well and up breathing didn’t feel right anymore to cope. I agreed for another check and the midwife confirmed my guess that I was fully dilated. I had to move back on all fours as another surge just hit me. And then everything had to be really quick.

My husband and the midwife prepared the tub and I could feel with every surge the urge to push rising. This was so powerful and uncomfortable but I was so thrilled to really recognize that stage of my birth. I almost ripped my clothes off since I had the urge to push and got into the tub. The lights were dimmed and only the spotlights in the tub were on. The warm water felt amazing and I could just doze off a bit during surges. I tried to use down breathing but the midwife apparently wasn’t familiar with that method and advised me to push. I was annoyed once again by her ignoring my preferences but felt so close to meeting my baby that I didn’t want to discus and also wanted to save my energy for that last phase.

I changed position and pushed my legs against the sides of the tub. My husband was behind the pool and was holding my shoulders. I could feel my baby’s head crowning and the doctor who came in some minutes before asked if I wanted to feel it. It was the weirdest thing but I wanted to get the whole experience of my last birth. The midwife was a bit worried about babys heartrate and told me to push stronger. The burning sensation when the head was born was overwhelming but I knew from my births before I had to go with it. The midwife told me to push one last time and I asked totally confused if “only the head was there or the whole baby.” They told me the head was already there and that I should have a look. And so I looked between my legs and could actually see my baby’s head and neck. This was the most wonderful and strange thing at the same time.

I got super motivated and gathered my last power for that last push. I almost screamed “I want to lift him! I want to lift him out of the water“ so the midwife could not take that last thing from me haha. As soon as I felt this relieving feeling of his body sliding out of my I grabbed down and slowly turned him towards me and lifted him up on my chest. And so at 10:57pm our beautiful baby boy was born. That was the moment I was waiting for and I was absolutely high on endorphins and Oxytocin. The placenta was born shortly after the baby.

We had a lot of skin to skin and he even latched on for first time and had a real little beard from all the Colostrum my breasts produced the last weeks. I felt so happy and almost high for about two weeks and had an excellent recovery. I had to have a few stitches and I had no pain or any discomfort postpartum at all. I am so grateful and happy to have had this positive experience and valuable preparation with the help of the PBC and the digital pack. I will recommend it to all of my expecting friends because it was a real game changer! Thank you!