Birth story - Leina and baby boy

*Trigger warning* - Use of word contraction, pain, anxiety

Birth history:

My first two kiddos were born in hospital, both delivered vaginally. When my daughter was around 2 years ago she was hospitalized for a couple of nights and our experience solidified for me that if I ever became pregnant again, I would not feel safe delivering anywhere but home. My husband was not easy to convince, but ultimately got on board with a midwife led, home birth.

Pregnancy:

Healthy, uncomplicated but this was my toughest pregnancy thus far. My hemoglobin was quite low and it was the longest month of my life waiting for supplemental iron to work its magic and relieve my fatigue. When it did, I felt great.

Throughout pregnancy I worked full time as perinatal mental health therapist. Despite holding my client’s (sometimes traumatic) birth stories, I was able to stay in a good headspace knowing that my story would be my own.

I also held onto the fact that both my previous pregnancies were uncomplicated, quick deliveries so why would this one be any different?

During pregnancy I prepped with PBC course, read the Mongan method Hynobirthing book and used Blessed hypnobirthing app every night. I have years of yoga practice which helped with breathing.

Early labor:

At 37 weeks I started having regular but low intensity contractions around 10/11pm. I couldn’t fall asleep, too much anticipation “is this it!?!” On top of the anticipation was some stress because my husband was starting a new job in the morning and had to drive out a distance and quite early to be in person for his first day. We called the midwives around 3am, gave a “heads up” that this could be it, and I finally slept; waking up with no contractions…just exhaustion.

5 days later, same thing. Started around 10/11pm, steady enough by 4 to call the midwives: this time I was so sure it was happening, we had them come out.

🛑And then it all stopped 🛑 barely dilated, 50% effaced…the midwives went home and we all planned to rest and see what happened…”could be hours, days or weeks” felt very discouraging.

We were left exhausted, disheartened and running on 2 hours of sleep with our toddler to care for. Luckily MIL took our daughter for the following night, hubs and I got some sleep and spent most of the day Monday together, relaxing, tidying up the house, and making a better plan for “next time.” I processed the fears and doubts that came up for me during these “false alarms” by journaling, talking it out, and went back to my PBC course and orgasmic birthing movie to put me back where I wanted to be mentally.

We also had my weekly appointment with midwives and they offered a ton of reassurance that they’ll come out as many times as needed. We processed what worked and what didn’t for me in the “test run” labor and concluded that having kids around would NOT work for me to be in the right headspace for labor.

The real deal:

On 10/17 I woke up around 4am with some cramping that started off light and grew in intensity quite quickly. Hubs and I woke up and he called the midwives while I ate breakfast.

Midwives arrived around 5:30, grandma came for our daughter around 8:30, we got our son off to school. I said “ok the kids are good let’s bring this new kid into the world”

I listened to music, hung out in my birthing space. I kept it dim, surrounded by my plants, candles, essential oils and the tub was good to go. I rocked through my contractions, using up breathing I was good!

Around 8:45 I asked the midwives to check my dilation but to not tell me, just my husband. We have a joke between us from my daughters labor when I freaked out a doctor because she said I was 6cm when I felt I had to be at 8. The midwife checked and said “you’re good to get in the pool” so I knew I had to be progressing well enough. A couple minutes later I guessed 4-5cm and tom told me I was between 6-7! I was so stoked and even more confident…I got this! At 8:55 I texted my friend “it’s going great, super easy and chill so far”

The pool felt so good, but the transitional stage of labor was tough for me, I had told my husband we weren’t going to use words like “afraid, scared, pain” but I looked at him and said “I’m scared” he responded “you’re strong” he reminded me of my affirmations and we took each surge one at a time. I had maybe 4-6 surges before I was ready to push. My midwives were so great, they worked quietly and let me do my thing, reminding me that I knew what to do they didn’t need to tell me. At one point they gave a gentle reminder to do low moans/yells and said “you are in control.”

I pushed our son out kneeling in the tub, 4-5 pushes. We did it!! Healthy baby, healthy mama.

Two fire drills, one week of high anticipation, and a short morning labor and here we are, family of 5!

I feel empowered, excited, and more in touch with my mama gut/intuition than I ever have before 💪