Birth story - Laura and baby girl

Birth Story

Where to begin...since having my second child, life has been a bit of a whirlwind (!) but I always knew I wanted to share my birth story no matter how long it took me!

I was recommended the positive birth company by a neighbour and friend. Having had a quite a traumatic labour first time round (induced and assisted delivery with significant blood loss) I was determined to change this second time around. I wanted to feel more in control, more present and to come away from the experience feeling positive and empowered. So when my friend told me about the PBC I signed up to the online package and started the course! 

It was important to me that my husband was involved in this from early on. And turns out that one of my favourite  affirmations was ‘my birth partner is on my side and by my side’. We’d watch the videos together each evening, and it gave us a a chance to talk about what and how I wanted this journey to end, or begin if you like! 

I was nearing the last few weeks of my pregnancy and we started to talk about where we wanted to give birth. I’d been under the care of the hospital where I had my son, and whilst I’d had a straightforward pregnancy, due to the blood loss first time round, they wanted me to be under consultant led care in the delivery suite rather than a midwife led unit (which was my preference). I felt as though the wind was taken from my sails and that I’d be going back to relive my experience from last time. Only now do I realise how much of an impact this had on me mentally not just at time but the following few months after. I suffered with pretty bad anxiety, and if I’m honest it took me a very long time to start really enjoying being a Mum to my son. I knew something had to be different. 

As we were close enough to another local hospital we decided to switch care and deliver there instead. Whilst this hospital would still not let me deliver in their MLU, I had a long chat with their consultant on delivery suite, they had a low risk room, with a pool that they were happy I could use. Having watched more of the PBC videos at this point I also knew that I was going to have control of the decisions and the environment no matter which room I ended up giving birth in. So I relaxed and knew this felt right! 

I had my 40 week appointment with my midwife, all was fine and I left feeling like this baby was going to be in there forever! Little did I know it was all about to change! 

That same night I went to bed about 10pm, I felt uncomfortable, but put this down to the usual aches. I felt myself tossing and turning; I just couldn’t settle. It was about midnight, I was getting some period pain type aching and thought as I couldn’t sleep I would head downstairs. I told my husband to stay in bed and off I went. I put my slippers and dressing gown on and turned on the TV, knowing I needed to relax as much as I could if this was it. I found Happy Feet and got a pile of pillows spread out on the floor. By this point I’d started to time the surges as they had got stronger and quickly realised I needed to tell hubby. I’d heard him moving around upstairs (I think he knew something was starting) so I called up to him that it was. The Freya app was a godsend, I’d been using the breathing to keep me calm. I decided then I wanted a shower (possibly a little in denial that things were progressing!). The hot water was an amazing relief and I stood in there breathing for a little while. I got out and asked my husband to put the TENS machine on me. By about 2am my Mum had come over to watch my son, and we’d called the hospital who told us to head in as my surges were every 3 minutes. 

The journey is a bit of a blur, and things were feeling quite intense so I had my headphones in and my eyes closed for most of it. We arrived in a very dark lamp lit hospital carpark and because of COVID I had to go in alone to be assessed. I went through the doors and into an assessment room. I was apprehensive but kept listening to Freya and did not stop breathing! The midwife came in and asked if she could examine me, I was happy for this to happen as I wanted to know how far along I was and wanted my husband with me as soon as possible. She did and said I was 10cm and said to me we’re having a baby! I felt a huge sense of relief I’d made it this far and asked if I could get in the pool. They said there might not be time but started to run it as I headed to the room. The midwives outside the room who’d seen me come in were all amazed I could walk and had got this far with no pain relief. Still with my headphones in we got into the room and my husband had joined us. He got to work laying out some candle lights, snacks and water and helped me get comfortable. For anyone having to use a delivery suite be assured that you can make the environment as calm and peaceful as you want it. The room was lovely, dimly lit and with the candle lights up it was a relaxed safe space. 

I got into the pool and enjoyed the sensation of warm water all around me. After a little while I felt as though things had slowed down a bit. So we agreed I’d get out to have a look at how things were going. I was examined again and the midwife confirmed there was a tiny lip of cervix left to go. In my mind I had known something wasn’t quite ready so stayed out of the pool and refocused on keeping relaxed. I asked my husband for some snacks and nibbled on some jelly babies and hula hoops. 

My waters then started to trickle and I kept doing what I felt my body needed me to do, swaying side to side, squatting and sitting on the toilet every now and again. 

A few hours had passed and my surges had become less intense and further apart. The midwife, who knew I was using hypnobirthing, had managed to keep the doctors at bay so far, and luckily as baby was happy throughout, everyone was happy to leave me be. Although talk then began about an artificial drip to help get things going again. At this point I felt deflated, this was not what I wanted. I knew I needed to keep calm, get the oxytocin flowing again and trust my body knew what to do. So we used BRAIN, and asked them to give us a bit more time. I told my husband to help me relax, he was recalling lots of happy memories, feeding me snacks and keeping positive. The surges started to come more regularly and the midwife suggested she check what happened if I did try and give a push. We gave it a go and sure enough she said she could see baby’s head. One thing I’d taken from my last labour was I did not want to be on my back! However I did actually end up in this position this time round, but this worked best for me and with breathing, alongside working with the midwife I started to feel her come. I was so determined not to have a drip or intervention I gave it my all. I just looked at my husband and knew it was going to be ok. The midwifes were concerned I might tear so I had a cut, which in the grand scheme of things was nothing! I felt her crowning and with a final push she was out. She was lifted up on to me and I can’t describe how that felt. Wow, pure joy. I had done it. It was all worth it; she was safely here. I cried tears of happiness and relief. I hadn’t missed a second, I knew what was going on and I cherished every minute.

We had a lovely few hours enjoying skin to skin and a first feed. It took a little while for my placenta to come, but with some time and persistence it did. I had some stitches too which weren’t too bad at the time, and I distracted myself by just looking at her in my husbands arms. 

Mentally and physically I was there. The hours and days after I was mentally present. I watched her being weighed, changed her into her first clothes, and did her first nappies. All these things I missed with my son, due to sheer exhaustion and a disconnected, uncontrolled experience. 

The PBC taught me that it is my birth, my body and my experience and no matter how it ends up happening knowing that changes everything.