Birth story - Laura and baby Dorothy

I have loved reading these positive birth stories in the lead up to welcoming our second baby girl as I found them really motivating and inspiring. Now I'm so excited and proud to be able to add my own!

After finding out we were expecting baby no.2 shortly before relocating to Malaysia, I began looking into hypnobirthing to help me prepare for bringing a baby into this world in a foreign country. I was induced with my first daughter at 38 weeks due to various factors and knew that if at all possible I would like to experience going into labour naturally next time. Lots of issues cropped up for us whilst getting our heads around how it would work here like:

Our medical insurance not covering maternity and delivery costs

Finding a doctor and a hospital

Being under the care of a doctor rather than midwives (this worried me about being more 'medicalised')

Not being able to have a home birth (something I would have liked back home) waterbirth is also not a done thing

That inductions happen at 41 weeks not 42 weeks here

And the latest bombshell was finding out at my 39 week appointment that our chosen hospital does not facilitate gas and air (this got me through my previous induced labour and I don't know how I would have coped without it!) they have a whole plethora of stronger painkillers, just not entinox.

All these things sent me into mini panic-modes but each time I went back to The Positive Birth Company.

At my 39 week check up the doctor offered to do a sweep. I had a vaginal exam and discovered I was 1cm dilated but I declined the sweep at that point. I was fully expecting baby to cook a bit longer and thought I would go overdue.

The morning of the day I went into labour, I told hubby that I hadn't slept much and wanted some peace and quiet on my own as I was beginning to feel cramping sensations, so he took our daughter out till lunch time. Meanwhile I went back to bed, watched catch up TV from home, had a shower and read my book and generally tried to rest and relax as much as possible...although I still did a couple of loads of washing in between. I assumed what I was feeling was just general end of pregnancy discomfort.

After lunch we all went for a swim and I used my daughters float to just drift around the pool and do some gentle lengths. Whilst my daughter and hubby played in the park I sat in a swing chair in the shade, continuing to listen to the MP3s, not really noticing the surges so much as they felt quite consistent but not strong.

It was only when I was having a shower at about 5pm that I noticed I had three surges in quick succession. I stayed in the shower longer than usual enjoying the warm sensation of the water on my hips. My husband was seeing to our daughter getting her ready for tea and bed. Ideally I would have liked his comfort and support at this point but our daughter was getting up to mischief when left unsupervised and also our shower broke with water gushing out everywhere so he had to see to these things! I darkened the bedroom and stayed in there, changing position often, with candles lit and essential oils burning. I downloaded an app to start timing the contractions and came to realise they were at least every 5 minutes by now and lasting roughly a minute each. I'd assumed that baby wouldn't arrive for another day or so but I began to question that when I realised the frequency.

My dad and his partner had flown out to Malaysia to help with our impending arrival but they had gone sight seeing for the weekend and were staying 3 hours away. As much as I love my dad, I think perhaps with our apartment to ourselves once again, I was fully able to relax and go into labour uninhibited.

We arranged for a neighbour to come and sit with our little girl until my dad had returned back. Between surges I tucked my daughter into bed and kissed her goodnight. After putting her down, my husband Tom came into my little haven to pack the hospital bag (wasn't very organized about that!) and start timing the surges. He massaged my lower back, held me upright and did the upbreathing with me. He kept me in that green zone and staying calm and chilled out. When our neighbour came over we left for hospital.

The journey to the hospital was the bit I was least looking forward to and is why I would have loved a home birth. At this point I took a paracetamol. It was hard to stay in my zone as we were in the lift on the way down (we live on the 28th floor) and frustratingly it stopped a few times to collect people and I was having surges in my nightie in front of strangers. I held my hankie of essential oils and, despite holding all our stuff including my birth ball, Tom continued to rub my back and count me through surges with my breathing. The hospital is about 15 minutes from where we live and I had 4 very intense surges during the journey. Tom stroked my arm as we drove and I listened to the positive affirmations MP3.

On arrival to the hospital, the midwife who checked me confirmed I was over 8cm dilated so it was a bit of a hurry getting me to a delivery suite. It felt like the surges were back to back by this point, like my body knew it was time. I was offered a canula for fluids which I flatly refused. Also I was asked to change into hospital robes which I also said no to because I knew physically I would be unable to get undressed and also wanted to keep my familiar nightie on. They wanted to have me on the bed and strapped to a monitor but I dodged this by hiding in the loo for a couple of surges! Tom managed to encourage me out of the bathroom and helped me onto the bed. He tried to dim the lights but they were promptly turned back on! So instead he gave me a handkerchief with my favourite essential oils and he stayed close to my face reciting positive affirmations to keep me in my calm state. I was aware that there were quite a few people in the room, especially down the business end, but I was able to block them all out and focus on Tom's face and voice instead. For the birth of our first daughter, although I was induced, the room was quiet and dark with only one midwife present who stepped back and let Tom deliver our daughter. However, I came to accept that things are just different here and I wasn't going to let it bother me.

As soon as I was on the bed, about 10 minutes after first arriving at hospital, I instantly felt the pressure in my lower back and urge to push and the doctor, who had only just rushed in at this point, confirmed baby was on her way and could see her head. I forgot to change into 'down breathing' mode for the first surge but the midwife by my side coached me with better breathing for the next one. They came in quick succession and I could feel baby girl making her way down through me. I felt a desire to change position onto all fours but had no time between surges to move so remained on my side on the bed. My waters gushed out with the second big down surge and there was a relief of pressure. Her head was born on the third push and her body seemed to follow without any more pushing from me.

And that was that! 20 minutes after we arrived at hospital and 2 hours of active labour...No pain relief except for a paracetamol that I took too late for it to be of much use during labour. No poking and prodding. No tears or grazes.

When she was born she was so calm and peaceful and was placed on my chest and just looked around the room in wonder. We both said "happy birthday Dottie!" We had delayed cord clamping and I birthed the placenta naturally about 15 minutes later. Tom cut the cord and then had some skin to skin time whilst I had a shower. I gave birth in an Islamic hospital and the care was very attentive. The nurses even offered to wash my hair for me and I was not expected to lift a finger or even walk around after the birth... despite feeling totally able bodied and completely fine I was wheeled everywhere in a wheelchair!

We were then moved to our private room where Tom and I had some special quiet time with the baby and this was when I was actually able to use the bits and pieces I had brought in for labour like my room spray and battery tea lights. I nursed Dottie and Tom put her into her first outfit.

When baby was being assessed by the paediatrician (I requested that this happened in my presence as usually the babies are whisked off to a nursery) I had a lovely aromatherapy massage before we all went to sleep for a couple of hours. It was idyllic, gentle, straightforward and I would do it all again tomorrow. The recovery has been super quick and I felt great the next day! I could not have wished for a better birth despite not being able to have my 'ideal birth'. I made the best of what we had and felt calm, peaceful and powerful the whole time.

I am so thankful for my lovely and supportive husband who was a great birth partner and took the time out of his busy work schedule to practice some hypnobirthing techniques with me. Also to my doctor who respected my wishes for a natural and gentle birth and the caring nurses who looked after me in hospital so well, even though it was originally somewhere I did not want to be at all. Finally, thankyou to the PBC which was money very well spent!