Birth story - Antigoné and baby boy

Can't believe I'm writing our story now! I hope it brings as much pleasure and confidence as reading others has for me!

We knew from the start we wanted a home water birth. I have a strong aversion to hospitals and myself and my partner instinctively felt that home was the nest we wanted our baby to be welcomed into from the outset. This didn't happen, but it doesn't matter because it was incredible and powerful the way it did happen. People keep asking me if I had the home birth I wanted and I have to think about it for a moment because it doesn't even factor. Our boys birth was an epic and wonderful journey for what it was. A huge part of that was to do with two particularly incredible midwives who read and respected my pretty detailed (and a little bossy!) Birth plan to a point where they went above and beyond. We owe them our hearts.

Having completed the digital pack and everything about hypnobirthing ringing true with us, we got super prepared for the birth from early on, especially with new restrictions coming into place all the time due to Covid. I had a week or so wobble about birthing in the middle of a pandemic and everything that could go wrong. If you're due to birth soon and are anxious about this. Don't be. Be prepared so you don't have any extra stresses when the time comes, but don't be anxious. When your baby's journey to the outside world starts, you will not think about anything other than that and the midwives are amazing.

So the week that it was announced that six people could meet outdoors at a distance, we decided to have my mum's long overdue birthday meal which we hosted in our garden with my mum and dad, my brother and his wife. That day I took the dogs for a super long walk and I just knew that our baby was coming to meet us. That evening was lovely, the family together for the first time in months and again, sat there with the very strong feeling that our baby was on its way! I like to think he heard all the laughter and love and decided he wanted to join in.

We also later found out that that night was a full.moon, a midwife told us babies grow for ten moons and when we looked back sure enough a day or two either side of when we think he was conceived was a full moon!

We went to bed and I woke at around 2 with some mild period type feelings and definite tightening. This carried on for a little while before I went to the toilet and felt a funny pop feeling low down so decided to put a puppy pad under my bed sheet just in case. Went back to bed very excited and couldn't help but wake my other half up telling him we were meeting our baby this weekend! These intermittent mild contractions went on through the night with me snoozing in between. I sat up in bed the next morning and whoosh went my waters, thank goodness for the puppy pad in the night! When I thought it was done I did a very comical run to the toilet when more waters decided to come running out. I cleaned myself up and phoned triage. The community midwife visited and checked the pad confirming it was waters. We discussed risks of infection etc and I discussed how we wouldn't even consider induction until at least 48hrs and so we would not be booking in etc. The midwife was supportive and just talked us through some tips to keep the contractions coming etc and then left us to it.

The contractions came on and off throughout the day. I went for a walk, bounced on my ball and tried to eat lots of energy food in preparation. The day came and went and the contractions were tiring but nothing too intense and we decided to go to bed to get as much sleep as possible. This lasted all of an hour or so before I woke up with very intense contractions. I used my up breathing and after an hour or so started timing them. Pretty soon the app told me I was in established labour and so I phoned triage. Out came the midwife and I consented to an examination so I could have an idea of my starting point. My cervix was still quite thick and far back. She helped us set up the pool and then left us to it. The contractions continued to come thick and fast throughout the night to the point where I stopped trying to time them as there was barely ten seconds between each one. At 8am on Sunday morning we phoned the midwives again. I think I'd had it in my head that the contractions should have more space in between and because mine didn't I'd convinced myself I must be further along than I was. Unfortunately at this point the pool was making my contractions unbearable rather than helping and actually the only position I could find some relief in was hanging off a door frame or pacing which was becoming increasingly exhausting.

The midwives came out and I consented to another examination as I was struggling to understand the pattern of my contractions and after 30 odd hours of labour I was becoming exhausted. The exam showed I was 3cm dilated at which point I asked for some help as I felt I wouldn't have energy for the grand finale if my contractions kept coming so close with me being unable to rest in between. The gas and air made me feel sick and dizzy and I'd already been vomiting everything that passed my lips, coconut water included! So I asked for pethidine which I thought I could have at home but they didn't have it with them. They said we'd have to go to hospital but could come home after so we decided that would be best.

The journey to hospital was fairly uncomfortable but we made it. I had a little cry about being in the hospital but the power of.my contractions didn't let me think about it for long. The pethidine arrived and although it definitely didn't do anything strong, it took the edge off enough that I was able to at least be still on all fours for a couple minutes at a time.

The pethidine took a couple hours to wear off but when it did there was no going home! My body was pushing whether I liked it or not! I told the midwives I couldn't help it and they suggested trying to hold off and have another examination but I think they soon realised that I would be expending more energy trying to stop my body doing what it wanted than just leaving me to it. Needless to say I was exhausted at this point and after pushing for quite a while, I consented to being examined where the midwife found I had an anterior lip (bit of cervix sticking out and blocking babies head).

At this point came a shift change and the change in energy from one midwife to the next was very positive (not that the previous one had been bad at all!). But in came the two most incredible women who I will never forget for the rest of my life. They had my birth plan wishes naturally ingrained within themselves. They removed the heart monitor that was really off putting bleeping away and instead listened to baby manually in between contractions which I consented to as I'd been pushing for so long and wanted to make sure baby was ok.

The midwife suggested in the next contraction that she could pop her finger in and push the lip around baby's head to make more space which I consented to. Didn't feel a thing but it obviously helped baby. By this point two hours of pushing had come and gone. What I vaguely picked up on at the time but fully found out after was just how much these two ladies fought the doctors away from me who apparently were itching to intervene after an hour and a half of pushing. Baby's heart was strong and steady and they knew how much I did not want intervention. Instead, alongside my partner who was incredible they lay on positivity and encouragement and said wonderful things. They got a mirror so I could watch babies progress into this world which was very motivating. To an extent I felt they all put as much heart and soul into the journey as I did. All the while keeping those doctors at bay.

After over four hours of pushing, which by the way felt like the most powerful and amazing part of the whole birth (not painful) our baby's head crowned, then his shoulders and at 10.37pm on the Sunday he slid out in the most blissful, warm gush of liquid and was brought to my chest straight away.

Funnily enough he was quiet. The midwives were a.little concerned but I knew he was fine. After a brief rub down to make the midwives happy, my partner and I collapsed on the floor in a heap of disbelief that this long, boy being had come out of me.

We let the cord drain fully and after nearly an hour I gave a few pushes to birth the placenta naturally, which I didn't even feel!

Then we had the most amazing cuddles, best cheap white bread and butter toast you can imagine, the most glorious warm shower and an incredible realisation that I had no tears or grazes which I put a lot down to being allowed to birth in my own time!

Because I had broken waters more than 24hrs before baby was born, they wanted to keep us in for 12hr Obs. After six hours of recovery (and two sets of Obs on our baby) which we were allowed to do together on the labour ward, we politely discharged ourselves wanting to just be at home and knowing our baby was fine.

Giving birth was intense, powerful, emotional and a completely unique experience. It will make you feel like a warrior and the strongest lioness. You will feel privileged to be a child bearer, so be excited 😉